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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel that winning the lottery is the answer to all my prayers?

87 replies

Allthebees · 24/10/2013 20:29

I could stop working and I could spend more time with DD and DH and do something I love (learn languages, travel). I could see my parents for leisurely days out rather than only when I rely on them for childcare.

I wouldn't feel so runragged. I'd feel more engaged with friends and family because I'd have time to do so.

I wouldn't feel so shitty about my appearance because I could get a personal trainer, nutritionist, personal shopper.

We could have more babies because we could afford to give them a good start/university education.

Hate that this feels like the answer to my prayers.

OP posts:

Lilacroses · 24/10/2013 22:24

That's sort of what I'm getting at persimmon. I think it would be a bit different to win it later on in life though when you've worked hard for years.

SaltySeaBird · 24/10/2013 22:24

I'm fundamentally happy, I love my DH and DD as well as all my family and inlaws.

Not having to work would be a huge deal and really make everything perfect. I'm often so run ragged and knackered by the weekend all I want to do is sleep and laze about. The house is a tip and occasionally I have been known to pick things out laundry basket to re-wear... Winning the lottery would make a huge difference!

ApocalypseThen · 24/10/2013 22:25

I could invent a job for my brother and bring him home from Australia. Family back together.

SaltySeaBird · 24/10/2013 22:29

I do agree money doesn't equal happiness.

But, if you are happy already it can make life very comfortable.

I fantasise every week about winning and until last week I've done the same numbers, every Wed and Sat since it started. We decided that £4 a week was too much and we would just do Sat now the price has gone up.

We have missed out on £50 now with two missed £25 on Wednesdays ... Having not won anything for months and months!

Moonstorm · 24/10/2013 22:31

Totally agree with you and fantasise about it often! Money can't buy you happiness, but being poor doesn't either! An it makes things so much easier.

ivykaty44 · 24/10/2013 22:34

you can be miserable and unhappy in luxry far better than being miserable and unhappy in poverty - thats for sure.

Money may not bring happiness but it brings a lot of comfort and makes some parts of life easier.

Having a very large amount of wealth would bring its own challenges

Garcia10 · 24/10/2013 22:39

Money isn't everything. It really isn't. My brother has loads of the stuff about $50M from our last discussion about it and I can say categorically that I would rather have my life than his. It hasn't made him any happier and it can be difficult for him to separate those people who love him for him and those who are only interested in him for his money.

He has an unhappy marriage (I hate to say she is a golddigger but there is no way she would be with him if he was poor, 10 years younger and considerably more attractive) and a serious drink problem.

Yes - winning lots of money seems good but it believe that there are lots of studies which indicate that it doesn't mark you any happier.

You need to learn to be content with what you have any be happy that you have healthy family, a roof over your head and food to eat.

I remind myself how lucky I am compared to probably 95% of people on the planet.

Original poster

Allthebees · 24/10/2013 22:43

Salty I'm with you. I think it's having the ability to choose how I spend my time, rather than feeling tied in to work (in a job that is alright but doesn't really satisfy me or inspire me) and feeling that everything is so finely balanced because of it.

I'm not really fussed about the yacht. But I feel that if work was out of the picture and finances were taken care of I'd have more time and headspace to focus on the people and things that do satisfy and inspire me.

I'd have someone to take care of my food shopping and meal planning, and washing, and car tax/insurance/all other admin. I'd have time to feel good about myself instead of the endless Working Mother Guilt.

Ps. I haven't bought a ticket in months.

OP posts:

Original poster

Allthebees · 24/10/2013 22:46

Again, I am grateful for what I do have. I just don't have the time or energy to properly enjoy it.

Maternity leave was ace, getting paid to dedicate my time to my family! It was a pure delight.

OP posts:

Stealmysunshine · 24/10/2013 22:46

Always think about this.

I just got a bit of money through on a PPI claim and it just didn't give me that amazing boost of happiness that I expected. We plan on going on holiday, buying a few homey bits and finally pay for DS christening. But it's not a massive lottery win of course, but it hit me that the happiness I get from my DS is the only fulfillment I need.

I think had I not had DS I would have went on a mega shopping spree and bought as many designer handbags as I could, but now priorities have changed that's not a fantasy anymore.

I think I'd need to win a good few million lol!

absentmindeddooooodles · 24/10/2013 22:57

I know it wouldnt solve everything....but my god it would go a long way.

Dp wouldnt have to work so many hours that its making him ill.
We could turn the heating on when its freezing cold.
Our xupboards would be full of nice quality food.....not always tesco value because the weekley food budjet does not stretch to the end of the week.
I could take ds swimming.
I could learn to drive so we would have more opportunities.
I could go back to uni.
I could afford to get private mesical care rather than still waiting 3 years down the line for the nhs.

I dont want a mansion....just a lovely farm house with outbuildings. Would love to create a childerens ventre. Somewhere for families to come and do workshops...storytelling, learn about nature and do camp outs .

Plus I would really love an alpaca.

CostaRicaToucan · 24/10/2013 22:59

God I would love to win the lottery and I do think people lack a certain amount of imagination if they don't think it would change their lives for the better in general.

That whole if you have your health thing is true whether you are rich or poor and who wouldn't prefer to be able to sleep at night not worrying about money, their children or their parents', siblings etc who might also benefit.

I do agree that massive amounts could be corrosive though but I mean the £45 million type wins which must be mind boggling. I know a family that won £5 million and they have steadily worked their way through the lot through generosity, they now have barely anything left of the original win and not much to show for it.

To the poster who's friend won £15 million, did it make you feel strange around her? Did it change your friendship? I have wealthy friends who are worth a few million and I do feel a bit awkward with them but they were wealthy when I met them. Must be very disconcerting if it happens to a close friend.

BitOutOfPractice · 24/10/2013 23:02

YADNBU

As Groucho Marx said: "money can't buy you happiness. But if you have enough, you can rent it!"

Me and bf often lie in bed talking about what we would do if we won millions

CostaRicaToucan · 24/10/2013 23:02

absentminded, I like your way of thinking! The farm with the workshops and camping sounds lovely. I do think if you won ooodles you could achieve great things with it if managed carefully.

Don't think everyone wants the whole yachts, fast cars, handbags thing. Doesn't appeal to me I must say, travelling more would be my number one selfish thing but my first action would be to sit and write a load of cheques for my most needy friends and family closely followed by my favourite charities - then be booking some mega holidays! .

KCumberSandwich · 25/10/2013 00:06

I would love just to get enough to have my house and garden done, or buy my own house, clear debt, see my parents alright and put a bit away for DS future. if i won more than that i'd give alot away to family, friends, charity etc and start my own busines.

my dad says Money wouldnt buy him happiness but he wouldnt mind crying in a ferrari

salsmum · 25/10/2013 03:08

My DP and myself have won TWICE on the Lottery since Saturday....once £5 and today £25 which was a lovely surprise because I've recently had to give up my PT job (working in elderly care) to care for my daughter (whos care needs have increased). Of course we said what we'd like to do if we ever won BIG (we cannot afford the lotto more than once every couple of months) and I said I'd like to pay the mortgage/rent for my closest friends, buy a house with a fully wheelchair accessible 'granny flat' attached for my daughter and have a holiday for the first time in 3 years (after a year of losing quite a number of loved ones/ family members. My daughter said she'd like a suit that she once saw that would enable her to walk. I often wonder just where these folks who win millions 'fit in'. I think they would lose some of their 'everyday' friends when they move to an 'exclusive area' and get resentment from the new neighbours/rich friends because they haven't 'worked' to earn their riches (its obtained through luck). I don't think YABU I'm sure lots of people would love a better life when times are hard. .

Pinkpinot · 25/10/2013 08:46

Last night I dreamt I won 33k
That would be a tricky amount because I'd want to treat everyone, and that wouldn't be enough
25m would be great to spread around

DontmindifIdo · 25/10/2013 08:55

Know what you mean, we discussed a few months ago, it's not even the "big win" that changes your life, enough to clear the mortgage would vastly, vastly improve our lives.

Each week, I have the dream, play property porn and pick my lotto win house and lotto win handbag. But other than that, I'm happy with my life and not on hold waiting for some outside event to make it great.

DontmindifIdo · 25/10/2013 08:57

Pinkpinot - I think £33k would be a great amount to win, you wouldn't feel you did have to share it! You could take a couple of grand each for you and your DP/H for a treat, then stick the rest on the mortgage, or if it was me, I'd put it in the 'coverting the loft' fund.

ConsideringTheFuture · 25/10/2013 08:59

My favourite quote:

Money can't make you happy. But it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

shewhowines · 25/10/2013 09:41

Health and real problems aside, I think it is on a sliding scale. Money would dramatically increase happiness until all your basic needs are met - heat/food/shelter. Then more time, entertainment, nicely decorated living space will make you quite a bit happier. From then on, it plateaus (sp?), and then I think it is less true, that money buys happiness.

The secret to real happiness is being content with what you have, once basic needs have been met, with a little left over for treats. Some people always aspire to more and will never be truly happy.

I am lucky enough to be content with what I have - more than many on mumsnet and not as much as quite a few on mumsnet. I appreciate what I have, but realise I don't struggle on a day to day basis. I also have the time, as the op wants, and some money to enjoy that time with. Yes more money would be lovely. There are lots of things I would like to do with it. Would it make me any happier- probably not.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/10/2013 09:44

You are not alone. I dream about winning the lottery all the time. Then I look at how much it costs to enter. It's £2 a ticket, twice a week. (It's wednesday and saturday isn't it). That is £208 a year. A lot of money isn't it?

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/10/2013 09:45

That's the motto I was brought up with. Money can't buy you happinesess. But you will have no happiness with no money.

YouTheCat · 25/10/2013 09:55

I have already allocated amounts for family and friends in my head. I have sussed out what kind of house to buy, where and how much to spend. Also have an amount in mind so we could live off the interest.

All I need now is a lottery win.

I am a very happy person but the only things that stress me out are all money related.

ImperialFucker · 25/10/2013 11:54

What proportion would you give to family and friends, YouTheCat? Would you share it equally? How much could you win without giving away anything, or would you always share?

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