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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teachers! I have an excellent parents' evening tip for you.

345 replies

OoozingCervix · 23/10/2013 19:45

  1. If you have a 10 minute slot and you are still talking after 25 minutes to a parent there is quite obviously an issue that needs to be discussed further at a later date.
  1. May I suggest you get a timer? Put it on your table. Set it for 9 minutes. If after the allotted time you are still talking, hand over a card with your email on it and suggest the parent book a further appointment to see you.

IANBU.

OP posts:
Goldiloz · 21/04/2017 18:36

Look. We have to be professional. We are the only industry where we take verbal (and sometimes physical- not in my school thank god!) abuse on a daily basis. On the whole we take it with a smile. Telling an irate parent that their time is up would make the situation explode and then you would probably get a talk from someone senior about being emotionally intelligent and professional.
Perhaps you should have leant over the shoulder of the parent and told them to move along.

Jayfee · 21/04/2017 18:40

Ask your gps for some training? mine are excellent and keep to tem mins mostly

Crazyunicornlady · 21/04/2017 18:40

Seriously, I hate parents evening but it's one of the few times I actually get to talk to my child's teacher!

I can't believe how rude some of you are, you chose to be teachers and parents evening comes as part of the deal surely?

I don't get to pick and choose the best bits of my job, I do them all because that's what I'm paid to do...

littleshirleybeans · 21/04/2017 19:00

ZOMBIE THREAD
I hadn't realised that and I started reading from the start.
Thought to myself, oh that teacher is exactly like me! It WAS me! Different user name hahahaha
proud to be on a zombie thread

Smith1 · 21/04/2017 19:03

.

orangeblosssom · 21/04/2017 19:11

Need to add that patients only have 10 minutes to see their GP.
However having a bell/buzzer to let patients know they have to leave isn't appropriate.
I would say the same applies to teacher parent appointments.

M0nica · 21/04/2017 19:18

Look. We have to be professional. We are the only industry where we take verbal (and sometimes physical- not in my school thank god!) abuse on a daily basis.

Huh?ConfusedConfusedConfused

kyph09 · 21/04/2017 19:23

Goldiloz - "We are the only industry where we take verbal (and sometimes physical- not in my school thank god!) abuse on a daily basis."

Do you genuinely believe this. I can't tell if this is a wind up??!!

frostyfingers · 21/04/2017 19:26

Quite why parents continue over their allocated time I don't know, even when we were doing our twins parent's evenings we didn't over run. My youngest son had one teacher who was impossible to get away from. He was a good 5/10 minutes over time with each child and the queue was massive. At our last meeting I leapt to my feet as he drew breath and stuck my hand out, said thank you very much and bolted. He had told us what we needed to know in the first 5 minutes and the rest was about the subject but not relevant to my son. I did feel a bit rude, but it was the only way. Luckily my son no longer studies his subject and all the other staff are concise and keep with in their time - it's just the other parents.....

gribak · 21/04/2017 19:32

As a parent, mine seem to only take 2 mins per teacher, I always wonder at what the 100's of questions are that people seem to ask in these meetings, I can't think of any t ask - they seem to be doing fine, I am happy, teacher is happy, what is there to spend more than 10 mins on? As mentioned, if there are serious issues, surely the 10 minute slot is not the time to discuss this, particularly as inevitably everyone else waiting can hear what is being said!!

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/04/2017 19:58

kyph09

At least include the bit about "with a smile" in your quote.

As far as I know teachers are the only profession that seemingly is unable to say "no I'm not going to take this shit."

Without a monumental fallout for your career.
A child attacks you, they are back in the next lesson.
A parent attacks you are often still expected to take calls and the abuse for teaching their children.

Lndnmummy · 21/04/2017 20:00

My son's teacher says, thank you for coming, let me walk you out Smile.

She is awesome. We are huge fans

Sybil59 · 21/04/2017 20:08

There are parents who always hog the teacher. They exist in every school.
I feel for teachers, they get a hard time and lots of criticism from people who haven't got a clue about education. I work for the NHS. Everyone thinks they can run it better too.

Primaryteach87 · 21/04/2017 20:11

I have done this. I have pointed out the time has finished. I have stood up and opened the door. I have preemptively tried to persuade said parents to come on a different evening so we can have additional time...some parents are tricky customers. Please spare a thought for the teacher who doesn't get home until 11pm and hasn't had dinner (me, a few years ago). We are doing our very best!

ToffeeCaramel · 21/04/2017 20:13

A child attacks you, they are back in the next lesson.
A parent attacks you are often still expected to take calls and the abuse for teaching their children.

How awful. I really wish you didn't have to put up with that. I hope it doesn't happen too regularly.

ToffeeCaramel · 21/04/2017 20:16

How many emails from parents do teachers get per day from parents? Could the head put this in a newsletter? ie. How many emails teachers receive from parents each day and to remember it will be difficult to fit dealing with them in with their other commitments. It might make people who abuse it think?

DanyellasDonkey · 21/04/2017 20:20

Once again BoneyBack you are absolutely right. No other "profession" has to put up with this kind of shit. Why can't we have a sign (like so many other places do) above the front door that says there is a zero tolerance policy to verbal or physical abuse of staff.

To crown all, we have been informed that we are not allowed to exclude pupils as the LA is aiming to have zero exclusions.

Btw, what is a zombie thread?

LornaD40 · 21/04/2017 20:28

Why can't we have a sign (like so many other places do) above the front door that says there is a zero tolerance policy to verbal or physical abuse of staff.
A few around us do, but it doesn't make much difference!

That is really worrying about exclusions. I've heard that soon schools will be accountable for an perm excluded child after they've left. Don't know the details?

Italiangreyhound · 21/04/2017 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Italiangreyhound · 21/04/2017 20:40

Oopse wrong place!

Badbadbunny · 21/04/2017 20:47

Some teachers don't help themselves. At ours, some teachers take control and give "their talk" which is basically, recent results, general overview of performance, etc., giving virtually no time for us to respond, but they've given the information required as they have it all to hand in front of them, i.e. sheet with names, what they want to say, results, etc. so all over and done with in 2-3 minutes and no queue! Other teachers dither around, leafing through their files trying to find scores, dither about what to say, then often go way overboard on giving a commentary on what topics have been done so far, what topics will be done next term, etc., etc., Hence long queues. One of our son's teachers in particular is terrible, she has horrendous queues and can be running over an hour behind schedule, taking 15-20 minutes with each parent - when it was our turn, she just went on and on, but really had nothing that needed saying as DS was performing well and she had no adverse comment to make - why on earth she couldn't have said that in 2-3 minutes like others, I just can't fathom. It certainly wasn't us wanting to talk that long as we had nothing to say, we just sat there in virtual silence whilst she went on and on. Perhaps some of them need some training in getting a point across succinctly and not waffling.

mumindoghouse · 21/04/2017 21:10

Most of time our appointments run to allotted time scale but run late cos of others, emails are answered on time UNLESS teachers drop a bombshell at parents eve that should have been revealed before. Oh I've unilaterally decided only to enter DC for lower GCSE paper having not consulted with parents or DP; oh yeah the other teacher was behind on the syllabus; DC has been misbehaving (in a way that could have been nipped in the bud if only you'd told us earlier). Maybe that's why appointments overrun.

lukeymom · 21/04/2017 21:39

I don't like parents evening much as a parent. My eldest boy is 8,we had parents evening in classroom was quick,didn't really tell me much about my son. Then my youngest son in reception, we had it in the hall. Basicly teacher kind of rushed me out,didn't say much about my son either.She told me she feels she don't really know him,he is quiet. Said she would give me a note book so I could write down what he has done after school and at weekends.I agreed and said its a good idea.We said our goodbyes. That was in February,never did get the notebook.
Most teachers tell us if there are any problems anyway and we have an idea of how our kids are doing anyway.Yet if you decide not to attend ,we get hampered with reminders and a selected time slot to go. Surely it's up to the parent if we go or not.

stoplickingthetelly · 21/04/2017 21:49

We're not allowed to use a buzzer. Also no point making appointments because I nearly always have more parents to see than slots available. Parents just queue up and wait. My record is 78 parents in one night! SLT do not tell parents that parents evening is over so teachers are regularly still sat with parents queuing at least 30 mins after the official finishing time. And it's often much longer.

flipflop49 · 21/04/2017 23:03

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