'I've made the tea' - no dh you fucking haven't

[NotYoMomma]

I am 9 months pregnant
9 months!

in pain, full of pregnancy rage and may be slightly unreasonable.

I can barely fooking walk yet have entertained dd1 all day,been to Asda, put tea (the key part) in the slow cooker, fetched stuff to help his family out twice (I am tres reasonable)

and ran the bath for dd (he bathed her but read that as - hewashed her hair and then sat and watched her splashing. I dried and dressed her)

it is usually a v 50/50 household and I don't put up with shit.

however. I said 'im watching GBBO at 8pm. I'll do the ironing and you do the dishes' - a reasonable split of chores no?

to which hehas replied that 'he is knackered and made the tea and bathed dd'

errrr. no dh you spooned the contents of the slowcooker onto a plate withsome uncle bens microwaved rice.

I ran the bath, dried and dressed dd while you got to do the fun slashy bit.

grrrrr I am so (unreasonably?) annoyed.

im making the dickhead watch bake off and assemble the New pushchair as punishment

Oh you are so nbu!

Why did you not shout 'are you on glue' why?

im even resenting that I ordered the pushchair in his favourite colour. it is rather brighter than I thought

twonk.

(I can feel myself relaxing a bit thank you )

What really needs ironing? I've yet to take mine out of the box after buying it in January

the ironing is again to be fair. both of ours. I woukd leave it but I jave crinkly pjs I want for my hospital bag and do not want the midwives to judge me

Dump the entire bowl full of dishes on his side of the bed...

Prick.

You can iron tonight and wash up tomorrow?! Okay, that is fair as long as he takes over growing a person, grows a fanny to push it out of and gives birth in 5 minutes without any moaning.

No can do?

Okay, no ironing or washing up from you then.

PLEASE do not worry about creased pyjamas! You really will not care and if the midwife even notices never mind cares she is in the wrong job.

Enjoy the bake off and the chocolate!

I just like to feel fresh and nicely turned out after having a baby lol. its a bit irrational I know but I felt so much better in crisp pjs after a shower after I had dd lol.

plus there be visitors a many

at thinking the midwife will notice or care if your Jammies are ironed - she will have just spent hours looking up your natural wrinkles

He is/was being a complete and utter tosser - but it doesn't sound like he normally is and you have a baby due, so don't start digging up the patio just yet - he may come in useful.

However, after he has done said dishes, he can crack on with a little bit of ironing - just the 'necessities'

Ironing pjs is pretty much the daftest thing I have ever heard! Other than ironing socks and underwear...
Actually, I think all ironing is stupid. Just don't do it.
Oh, and HIBU

at midwives judging. You do realise you're going to shit yourself again, right? Wrinkly pyjamas would distract from that, if anything.

loving your revenge OP. He really needs to wear a tens machine while you are in labour which YOU control!

oh I forgot about shitting myself lol.

its more the family visitors I guess. I want to be all 'yes I just gave birth... and... I look like Elizabeth fucking Taylor'

deluded

but with piles and bleeding and shit

neither of us did any of our jobs in the end. I was too delighted that frances won the bake off everything else just didnt matter ha

Doing the dishes is renowned for bringing on twinges and Braxton-Hicks within mere moments of squirting the Fairy. So is ironing. What are the chances of you starting either job and then needing to rest with all the twinges ?

May be worth pointing out that it's worth his while to take up your offer of splitting the jobs fairly while you are still at home- once you go in to have the baby he'll have to do all the jobs and look after DD.

last time I ironed more than one item I went into labour....dd is 6 and half.

Christ I could've written your post!

I feel rather peeved at'd'p this eve. I've spent recent days in the kitchen making him lovingly crafted pies, roast dinner, brownies and pasties for tea. And his fav crumble!

Tonight, I just couldnt be arsed to cook tbh. Ds had his dinner at lunchtime after pre-school. So dp pops to shop and picks us up some supernoodles and cheese (our old fav cheap dinner when we first got together!), he proceeds to come home, do himself his noodles and doesn't even offer to do mine!!

Off he goes in front of the telly,football of all things, while im sat there pregnant and starving.
Selfish bastard.

I'm sure I am angrier over this than is normal, but he has form for being a bit of a fucking doughnut.

That's actually really fucking awful ^ and selfishly nobbish

It wasn't done in a passive aggressive-you-should've-cooked-me-a-proper-dinner-woman kind of way.

Just a football-starts-soon-quick-make-food kind of way.

He just doesn't THINK.

That meant to be read as him calling me woman, and not that being PA like the above is a womans kind of way.

Hope that makes sense!

OP, are the wrinkly jammies really bugging you? Do you have a clothes dryer? Put them and a very wet flannel in the dryer for 10 minutes or so and they will no longer have wrinkles.

YABU! You mentioned who won the bake off without a spoiler alert! I was trying not to find out!

I can see his point. He is making a person, just the same as you are, OP. Just because his contribution was right at the beginning of the process doesn't mean he's not still totally knackered from putting in the effort.

NB my DH does the filling up the bowl for dishes trick mentioned upthread, except that he takes maybe two plates and a cup out, puts them on the draining board the wrong way up, and is convinced he's done his bit. I could string him up just thinking about it, and I'm not even a tiny bit pregnant.

So is he suggesting that you do the ironing and the dishes while he puts his feet up?

That would be U if you weren't 9 months pregnant. As you are, you shouldn't be doing any chores at all IMO.

This. Am only a few days behind you and although DH has put his dirty plate in the dishwasher, he has not turned it on. I already put the detergent in and put the dial on the right cycle. All the fucker had to do was press Start.

::sharpens chisel::

I've got to hope that Brecon was being sarcastic or funny. I really have.