to make DP late for work by doing the nursery drop

[LisasCat]

DP & I both work full time. Normally he drops DD2 at nursery and I drop DD1 at CM who then does school run. This week I am working a slightly shorter day so I can do school run mornings and afternoons, to touch base with school.
Yesterday he took DD2 normal time. DD1 and I then spent a really constructive half hour practising her reading and writing, before going in to school early so she could show me what she's been doing.
Today DP overslept and asked me if I could drop both 'as I had an easier start'. I said no, because the round trip to nursery would use up that extra half hour I've bought this week, which I really want to use focusing on DD1's preparation for the school day (she's slipped into some bad habits of poor organisation now I never do the school run), her reading, and spending time in her school.
I only went back from part time to full a few months ago, and we had 'a bit of a chat' at the time when he started expecting me to do the lion's share of drop off and pick ups, as I had been doing while part time. He's rubbish at getting up in the morning, and will do anything to extend his time under the duvet. I pointed out that, by taking one of our two children in the morning, he was not 'doing me a favour' but sharing the task of running a household with two working parents. Since then he's been great until this morning.
Was I mean to make him do the nursery drop even though he was going to be late?

And what time did you have to be at work today? You have mentioned half days?

You did not make him late; he overslept.

And he has form.

Thoughts we're not talking therapy-inducing upheaval. She's 7 and a few of the general school housekeeping things have slipped (as mentioned earlier) and I want a few days to immerse myself in what's going on at school, to be sure teacher and I are on the same page. As for my hours, if it's at all relevant, I'm working a half day within school hours, so still need to head off fairly soon after drop off. Hence couldn't do later nursery drop, plus I didn't want DD2 with me when I was giving all my focus to DD1.

Why should the dd1 miss out on having her mum with her in school just because her dad was too lazy to get his backside out of bed on time??

YANBU

Good lord - oversleeping does occasionally happen to mere mortals, you know! I have overslept a couple of times - not intentionally, just been so knackered that I've woken up for the alarm and then gone back to sleep. Managed to (just!) get to work on time but all the same, I have called on help from family/friends if needed and I didn't think it made me manipulative or a lazy shit or anything like that!

I think YWBU - surely the point of a partnership is to help and support one another!?

Of course the time you are starting work is relevant, that is why you have then said that you couldn't have taken DD2 to nursery afterwards.

I am also wondering why if you would have been woken by DD2 before DP surely you would have at some point realised that he needed to get up, so why didn't you wake him?

Of course he need to be responsible, but so do you.

He has meetings in different locations and leaves at different times in the morning. If it's early he lets me know the night before so I can adjust the morning schedule if necessary. If later, he just sets his alarm a bit later. So I don't keep tabs on when he gets out of bed. Besides I'm downstairs getting the girls fed and bags packed. I don't have time to be checking on him as well. He gets a cup of tea delivered to his bedside to aid his progression into the land of the living. Beyond that, I refuse to be his mother. If I start waking him, even just once, he'll end up expecting me to be his alarm clock. He'll let himself hit the snooze button and drift back off to sleep, thinking "it's ok, the missus will wake me", and I bloody won't.

How is he being supportive of his partner to oversleep?

And I rather think the job of being a parent is to be a responsible adult, who takes their child to the CM on time.

YANBU - you have made a special arrangement to be able to spend a bit of time this week doing a particular thing that is important to you. I think your partner is just seeing it as you getting to go into work late, so thinks you might as well spend that extra time in a way that suits him. Say no, you made a plan, he can't just change it for you without consultation.

Why on earth should the OP be responsible for waking her dp up in the morning? Surely that's what the alarm clock is for.

Well perhaps you should make more of an effort to all work together, if you are doing everything downstairs while he is in still in bed then you are already letting him believe that he can keep hitting the snooze button.

So now it's the OP's fault because she did everything while her dp stayed in bed??

Wow, sometimes reading the Internet is irritating as hell. Op, well done on remaining so measured and reasonable in the face of such rubbish. YANBU, but even if you were, you don't have to justify your entire lifestyle just to cover making your husband late. Alternately banging my head against the table and groaning at the person who said something about, bluster bluster, he puts the food on the table, how very dare you, and get back in the kitchen and make him a snack!

Christ. Every Mumsnet page should carry the year with a big sarcastic pointy finger next to it. Like this: 2013

She should be responsible if it is clear that he is not up yet when he needs to be. As someone else said, perhaps he is just bloody tired. If he then ignores her, then he is BU.

I think the point about food on the table was referring to the fact that presumably because they both work full time, both incomes are needed, therefore why would you knowingly jeopardise one of them, by making someone late for work.

No

But the OP did not make him late. He made himself late. She is downstairs with 2 children doing everything and he is asleep. Not fair. I am OPs Dh as my Dh gets up first and I like my bed. He assumes I will get up at the time I need to in order to do drops and get to work on time. If I dont then that is my problem and not his.

But the OP did not make him late. He made himself late. She is downstairs with 2 children doing everything and he is asleep. Not fair. I am OPs Dh as my Dh gets up first and I like my bed. He assumes I will get up at the time I need to in order to do drops and get to work on time. If I dont then that is my problem and not his.

Er, how do you know both incomes are needed? We both work full time and could easily get by on one of our salaries but we both choose to have careers. Radical stuff what with it being 2013 and all.