to admit to you that my personal hygeine is atrocious because I feel too depressed to give a shit?

[MoveYourArmsLikeHenry]

I am a robot. Everyday is the same as the one before. Go to work to be told I am not good enough, despite trying my absolute best and basically work my ass off to have small petty things complained about. I will give you an example of what I mean.

Some of you may remember me saying my supervisor being off due to a car accident. She was off for weeks and weeks and during this time I had to practically do her job as well as my own, plus train two new members of staff. This was a horrible, stressful, depressing period. I would lie awake at night worrying and randomly burst into tears because of how soul-destroying this job was making me feel (though my autism could have played a part in this).

Despite this I really tried my hardest to make sure everything was getting done, and really stuck my neck out to ensure it was done. Not once was a positive comment given to me. Not a tiny bit of encouragement or appreciation, which, to be honest, I really could have done with, given how depressed, run down, and under pressure I felt.

What did I get told instead? My name badge needs to be on at all times (I forgot it ONE fucking time), my teeshirt needs to be spic and span, (I work with one year olds. This is not going to happen), the lovely artwork I spent time planning and creating with the children wasnt bright enough, a birthday card I made for a child wasnt nice enough, halloween decorations werent in the right places in the room, my shoes are too tatty and worn out, im not training the new staff well enough (this isnt even my job!), and many other things.

I give up. What is the point? After enduring this all day I go home, sort my son out, sort dhs dinner out and go to bed. I dont eat properly, shower regularly, go out with my friends or clean my home as much as others do (I do the bare mimimim)

I am constantly informed of how inept and useless I am so why even bother trying? I try to keep it together for the sake of my son, but really I just dont care anymore :(
You can flame away too if you want to, I probably ABU :(

Oh sweetie - I really feel for you.

Please talk to your DH - show him this thread if it's easier. I really think he needs to know how you're feeling so he can help you get out of this hole and because you need some real life hugs.

Shall we all chip in 10p and send Ghost round with her boxing gloves on

OMG your colleagues sound like complete arseholes! You poor thing. It is fucking awful for you to feel so unappreciated.

You sound like a truly good person. You are so much better than the idiot that criticized your shoes/ name badge/ halloween card/ lovely artwork. That person is an utter prick. They possibly feel insecure around you. They are most definitely on some kind of power trip.

The fact that you are even asking AIBU? shows how much the fuckers have ground you down. of course you're not being unreasonable! Everybody deserves to be treated with respect at work.

You need to start being kind to yourself, which starts with showering every day, maybe a new hairstyle, some time for you. Can you open up to DH, so he can support you through this?

And get job hunting. They will be GUTTED when you waltz out the door in your PERFECTLY FINE shoes, throwing your name badge over your shoulder with a cheery "fuck you all!"

You sound like a truly good person. You are so much better than the idiot that criticized your shoes/ name badge/ halloween card/ lovely artwork. That person is an utter prick. They possibly feel insecure around you. They are most definitely on some kind of power trip.

^this^ exactly what i was thinking - but couldnt string together for some reason!

OK there are a few things that leap out to me from your OP.

1. I strongly suspect you are fabulous at your job.

1. I also strongly suspect that your horrible supervisor and/or colleagues are jealous of said fabulousness, and are very possibly insecure about their own abilities. No-one is that awful or petty unless they are jealous and insecure.

1. No parent of a child in nursery ever notices what kind of shoes the nursery carers are wearing.

1. I very much doubt whether they care if you're wearing a name badge either.

1. The artwork, Halloween stuff and birthday card you describe sound lovely.

1. You sound lovely.

1. You deserve a damn sight more than you are getting in this job and I am not surprised you feel as you do.

1. But I do agree with other posters that even a few things like a daily shower and eating a bit more may at least help you feel a little better.

and finally

1. The children you look after are very lucky to have you!

Henry, who is it getting on your case? Is it one person or a few of them making digs?

I only ask because terrible managers have a way of making you feel like everybody in world agrees with them. It's rarely true, it's more of a case of your colleagues are scared and don't want to risk bringing attention to themselves.

Lol @ sparkly thanks for making me laugh.

You are all right, I am past breaking point. I am in fact broken. And thats how they make me feel, like I am broken and need to be fixed. Or replaced.

I am bloody sick of these petty Hitlers that make people's working lives a misery.

What do they get out of making others miserable? Don't they realise that people work much much better when they are praised and motivated? And that even criticism is okay when it's constructive?

MoveYourArmsLikeHenry, do you have to work? Is it possible that you could resign and give yourself a breathing space whilst you look for something else?
If not, please tell your DH anyway, so he can understand and support you whilst you look for something else. He surely must notice that something's up? Does he help all he can at home? (housework isn't just down to you).

Can you afford to treat yourself to a haircut? If you can give yourself a bit of a boost it might encourage you to take more pride in yourself and then realise that you are worth far more than the way you are being treated.

Do you have to stay there? Could you do childminding and use your skills for that?
I say this as someone who has just come out if a period of depression and now realise how awful its been.
I wouldn't waste another second if my life there.

I agree with everyone saying to try and leave ASAP or possibly think about working for yourself? From the sounds of your OP you're really thoughtful, put loads of effort in and work damn hard!

It's sooo draining to have to go somewhere every day and be patronised I had the same problem for a while and it's demeaning.

I was f/t self employed teaching but due to personal crap ended up having to move to another part of the country.

I needed to find a job quickly to pay rent and bills etc... as it takes time to build teaching work back up in a new area.

Got a job easily in a local office that was not described accurately at all but I had no choice! It wasn't until I was offered the job that they took us all up to see the office we'd be based in... a call centre. Argh! They dressed it up rather differently in the job description

Anyhow I stuck with it but ended up fuming silently every day by the endless stream of so called "managers" (half the people there seemed to be a manager of some description?!) being patronised on a daily basis, attempting to drum whatever common sense I had when I started out of me with stupid chiched phrases and nonsense speak that I'm pretty sure they didn't even understand half the time.

Every morning greeted by dozens of different emails, some of which could have been written by a five year old, telling me about some rule I hadn't been following (that they made up the day before).

It made me feel like going on a killing spree.

Anyway yours is a different situation but from your posts I can envisage similar types of people that are currently winding you up to feel the same!

You are worth more, plus a trip to your GP is definitely a good idea.

My situation turned out OK as I did meet my now DH there! He's happy in a new job where he's appreciated and I'm back to teaching.

In the meantime it might help to find someone at work who shares your frustration and have a laugh with them, as I bet there is at least someone.

Sorry that was unnecessarily long winded!

Useless? From your original post alone I can tell you're articulate, insightful, hard-working, conscientious, and a caring Mother.