Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think about changing nursery's over this staff member?

39 replies

Vix1980 · 21/10/2013 20:26

Ok so ds is 16 months, been at his nursery for 3 months now, does 2 days a week, settled in really well

so no problems till a couple of weeks ago i pick ds up from nursery he was screaming and crying, im told by the lady oh hes just tired (she herself was sat on a chair chatting to her friend with ds on her knee). so i get outside to get his coat with him and it was obvious he had pooed, i was just about to go back in when he ran off still crying so i thought im only 5 mins from home ill do it then.

I get in and immediately change him, he'd been screaming all the way home, then i see his nappy wasnt the 1s id supplied (was a size too small and wrong make), it was also wedged right up his bum making it really uncomfortable for him, hed pooed right through to his vest and his bum was red raw and he screamed when i tried to wipe him, probably from the nappy. I rung the nursery to just let them know could they be a bit more careful in future it was the wrong nappy and told them how it had been put on, she apologised on behalf of who had done it and i thought thats that then, everyone makes mistakes.

The next day i get a call from the manager apologising also on behalf of the lady who had told me she was just tired, and the reason she hadnt changed him was because she'd had a big night so was shattered, this was a wednesday, who has a big night on a tuesday?

So since then everythings been ok, today though i saw this lady for the 1st time since id rung up, she completely blanked me, instead of chatting to me about what he'd been up to i had his diary threw in my direction as she turned around to go back with the other children. I told my dp when i got in and he said she'd done the same to him last week. It makes me wonder what shes like to my son while hes there during the day.

Thing is i like the other staff but just this particular woman is making me think about pulling him out, that and for some reason hes started crying in the mornings when i leave him the staff are great and take him from me to go and get involved in whatever activity they are doing, last week for example this happened and id forgotten his bag so had to go home and come back with it, i saw what it was like when they didnt know i was there and the 2 staff were sat chatting together while ds was on his own half crying half playing, all the other kids in his age group were doing the same, i know they cant sit with them every minute but when hes crying i dont like the thought of him being left alone the way he was. am i making a bigger deal of this than needs be or am i right to think about changing nurserys?

OP posts:
ChampagneTastes · 21/10/2013 20:28

Simply for the "she had a big night the night before" comment I'd be looking for somewhere else. That is royally crap. Tell them that.

nomorecrumbs · 21/10/2013 20:30

Who tells a customer about a colleague's big night out?! Bizarre. It's almost like they want you to find another nursery!

KirjavaTheCorpse · 21/10/2013 20:32

Trust your instincts. Something's not right, take him out of there.

The nappy thing alone would have been it for me, that sounds truly awful.

TheBrotherhoodOfSteel · 21/10/2013 20:32

Pull him! They obviously care more about their social lives than the kids that are entrusted into their care! Disgraceful!

TheSydenhamSet · 21/10/2013 20:33

It would break my heart to leave my 18month ds in that place. I'd be looking at other options

CrapBag · 21/10/2013 20:35

They sound dreadful.

They don't sound like they have childrens interests first which is why I would change him to another nursery.

DontPanicMrMannering · 21/10/2013 20:35

Take him out, I had DD1 in a nursery and she started coming home with red raw bum and saying "they hurt me", her book also had she ate ham in there (she's not allowed pork products) and their response was the book was wrong......

I moved her and she was instantly happier and so was I. Trust your gut, move him, tell them exactly why in front of bitch face

bimbabirba · 21/10/2013 20:36

Are you kidding? Her explanation for not changing your DS was that she was tired? Because she had a late night?
Unbelievable Shock
Doesn't sound like a great nursery to me. Your DS spade serves better

bimbabirba · 21/10/2013 20:37

*your DS deserves better

Vix1980 · 21/10/2013 20:37

Thankyou! I though i may be being a bit pfb about him but im starting to really hate leaving him there so that was what i needed to hear.

I know though, i could let everything else go but for her to tell me that staff member had a huge night on a tuesday evening i just thought tell me anything, tell me she was sick, tell me she was caring for a sick relative and was up all night but dont tell me that.

Shame though as he did love the place and all the children are lovely to him, always shouting his name when he goes in. But ive been looking tonight and found an alternative so ill check it out tomorrow.

OP posts:
summerlovingliz · 21/10/2013 20:39

I would have a quiet chat with whoever is in charge. If its a good nursery then they will listen to your concerns and seek to reassure you, if they fob you off or Seem disinterested then you'll know what to do! Good luck, I'm sure you'll resolve it soon

PansOnFire · 21/10/2013 20:39

Atrocious! A nursery worker who puts a nappy on incorrectly and doesn't seem to care that she's offending the parents? I'd find another nursery, pronto. And I'd tell the nursery exactly why I'd gone elsewhere. So many nurseries offer wonderful care, it doesn't have to be like this. That woman wants sacking for being incompetent.

DoJo · 21/10/2013 20:39

I would tell them how you feel as well - there is something wrong with a nursery that thinks a big night out is an excuse for failing to treat one of their charges appropriately.

bimbabirba · 21/10/2013 20:41

Your DS will probably fit in just as well, if not better, in another nursery. Some children would be happy anywhere but that's not to say that they are well looked after where they are
good luck Smile

KirjavaTheCorpse · 21/10/2013 20:42

Tell them why, as well. The managers have a right to know why they're losing custom. Maybe it'll prevent something similar happening to another child when that employee feels like a midweek bender.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/10/2013 20:42

If a staff me never isn't responsible enough to realise she's working the next day and to control how late she's out or how much she drinks etc then she's not responsible enough to look after the children. You cannot neglect basic needs because your too tired or hungover. She's not home alone with a toddler and an unforeseen burg, she's a paid member of staff who knows her rota and probably has weekends off to booze it up.

Your poor Ds I'd move him if Hes that upset and staff don't seem bothered.

NutcrackerFairy · 21/10/2013 20:43

I would report to Ofsted to be honest.

All of what you say waves red flags for me... child left in poo with red raw bottom, being told his key worker had had a big night out and was too tired to change him, you seeing children being ignored when they were distressed.

I would be so upset and angry if this was my child. Really really not good enough and I agree, I hate to think what goes on when staff are not being observed by parents if they are apathetic and uncaring enough to leave an obviously uncomfortable 16 mth old sitting in his own poo.

Really shocking imo.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/10/2013 20:43

Member

MissStrawberry · 21/10/2013 20:46

It doesn't sound to me he loves the place it he is sat crying.

ConfusedPixie · 21/10/2013 20:46

Fucking hell. Remove him and tell them exactly why. That's not fucking on. I'm a nanny, at the end of my 12 hour day that started at 7am after a long babysit the night before, I still changed my charges nappy because that is what you do. Unfortunately, I've met many nursery workers like this (and many amazing ones, before people jump down my throat), some people are in the wrong bloody job.

CrapBag · 21/10/2013 20:47

I would let the nursery know why I was leaving too and I would inform OFSTED, think of the other parents who don't know as much as you about how little they care.

hettienne · 21/10/2013 20:50

I'd be most concerned about them ignoring the children while your DS cries. Of course they could be sitting with them all the time! Even if they had to have a really important conversation right that minute they could do so while holding/comforting your baby.

Vix1980 · 21/10/2013 20:51

nutcracker - Ive been thinking the same to be honest and have been reading the complaints in their ofsted reports from the past few years, it mentions not having enough staff members to cover the children during meal times aswell as leaving them unattended in the garden area. That was from 2012 i dont think much has changed.

I was given a report when he started but surprise, didnt include this complaint just others regarding general admin procedures. Its such a shame as apart from this 1 person all the other staff members are lovely but i cant take the chance of leaving him there for her to be in charge again, so yep hes leaving and ill feel better tomorrow when i've had the chance to look at a few others in the area.

To be honest part of the reason to pull him is not only this but as i mentioned before, they are making the room the children play in smaller, to allow for a higher number of older children over the age of 2, this immediately made me think that i didnt want him stuck in a small space like a battery hen so together with this woman ive had no choice but to move, the nursery manager is lovely but I will certainly tell them why he is leaving. If this is the way this woman conducts herself whilst sulking its not very professional, so god knows how she has kept her job, unless she is on a warning already for her behaviour, who knows. I didnt make a massive deal out of it - maybe i should now to ofsted?

OP posts:
Apileofballyhoo · 21/10/2013 20:51

I find that absolutely shocking, OP. I hope you find a lovely place for him. How distressing for you and him.

Mouthfulofquiz · 21/10/2013 20:52

I hate hearing of kids left in dirty nappies. My DS loves his nursery and nursery workers but twice this week he has been changed at 1200 then not again. I pick him up at 15:00 and he has had a dirty nappy twice which is almost completely dried out because its been there for probably two and a half hours. He is a bit sore now so am planning to have a nice word with them tomorrow as its not good enough really is it??
The fact that in your case they couldn't be bothered because of a big night out is atrocious. Call ofsted.