to be upset that this mother did not tell her son that it's rude to call people fat?

[cassie007]

While I was getting dd (7) changed after her swimming lesson today there was a boy around seven years old with his mother. I have seen her every week for a few months now as my daughter and her son attend the same lesson.
The boy started calling me a 'fat mama' (I'm a size 16-18). I waited for the mother to tell him off but she said nothing! Now, I'm used to being called fat as I've been bigger most of my life, even through childhood, but I am certainly not used to being called names by a child who had his parent right next to him.
Should I say something to the mother when I see her next week, or will I have left it too long?
If YOUR child called someone names would you tell them off?

Well if it was me I would tell my kids its not polite and apologise.

YANBU. Did she definitely hear?

YANBU

What did you say to the child who called you names?

Dear God please don't tell me you said nothing?

YANBU, but then you don't know what she said when they got outside. She may have been very embarrassed by this, I would have been.

Maybe she was embarrassed and trying to pretend he hadn't said anything to save further embarrassment by drawing attention to it?

I've had that happen and it's usually that they copy how there parents talk.

Tell him he was adopted next time!

Woah - my child would have been seriously in the shit for being so rude! I can only assume she didn't hear.

in all honesty I'm not sure you can bring it up next week - but if he says it again I would most definitely pull the woman up on it - 'I had to assume you didn't hear this last week - but I find it extremely offensive and rude for your son to speak to me in that way.'

Also - I'm also a 16 -18 and I'm bloody offended on your part!

She probably didn't want to embarrass you (further) by making a big thing of it

That's really rude-and awful of the mum not to pull him up on it. I can only assume that either the mum didn't hear him, or was hoping you hadn't and didn't want to draw attention to it. A few times my kids have said things (nothing like as rude as this) but I've ushered them out hoping no one has heard, and talked to them outside about it.

I really wouldn't waste my breath with her next week - she'll only get arsey and defensive.
Some people have obnoxious kids because they are obnoxious themselves.
Rise above it and put it down to ignorance.

One of my DD's saw a very large man and said 'look at that fat man' I told her not to be rude and she collapsed into sobs of 'its truuuuue though'

I'm ashamed to say that I didn't say anything Worra :(
She definitely heard him as she was putting his socks on as he was saying it.
The thing is, I have taught my dd to NEVER call people names as I know how hurtful they can be.

Gosh how rude. Hopefully she didn't hear and its not a case of her choosing to ignore it. My dc would be in big trouble if they said something like that.

I would say something next week, but I'd be prepared for some defensive-asshole comments.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Not nice.

I think I've calmed down a bit now and have decided to wait to see if he says anything next week. If he does I'll have to approach the mother somehow.

Next time of she doesn't say anything and he does it again I think you should point out to the kids how rude he is being.

Yeah, YANBU, very rude. Was it loud enough to be obviously audible, or could she just have been ignoring it out of embarrassment in the hopes that you didn't hear?

Thanks for the help everyone. I know I can come here and vent again if I need to :)

If it happens again, address the child face to face and ask how he would feel if you laughed about his ears/ nose or any other personal remark. It might be hard to do it, but I would have to say something. Hopefully he got an earful when he got outside and won't do it again.
Or threaten to sit on him!

I think the horse has bolted really, so I wouldn't bother saying anything next week.

However if this child calls you names again, you need to look him straight in the eyes, and say firmly "Well that's not very nice, is it?"

His Mum won't be able to claim she didn't hear anything then.

And hopefully it'll make him think twice to be pulled up on it.

If he was mine, yes I'd tell him off. In the Mother's defence it could be the case that she did not want to draw more attention to what he had said and embarrass you more by making a big deal of it.

I would not mention it next week, but if the little boy says it again then I would say something to the Mother.

Yanbu. Children will say things as they see it but it's up to the parents to correct them about being polite and having manners.

I'm with Worra on that. Basically an age-appropriate "Did you mean that to sound so rude?"