Or is stbxh right?

[3for2]

He left over a year ago after a dull marriage limped to its conclusion. 2 preschool children.

In winter last year he met someone new and moved in with her in the spring.

I got back in contact with an old friend and moved in with him in the spring too.

No dramas. We've managed all the separation and parenting completely amicably.

I've just got engaged. Set a wedding date.

Tonight it seems He's really pissed off as he thinks it's too soon etc...

He's right that the absolut isn't through yet but what are we waiting for? He sees it as a slap in the face. (We're also moving to a bigger house).

I dunno. Please be gentle as I've just had a miscarriage which also got used as an insult about going on to have more children...

I just think he's criticising me but he's done the same thing although perhaps 'worse'

He's moved in with someone he only met at Xmas.

I moved in with someone who I've known for years.

The wedding bit seems to have stirred it up but why? Surely moving in was the biggest 'risk'. Why is he upset now?

I don't think he was glad, just a little bit pleased something hadn't gone my way.

I had already said in the summer that we were thinking about ttc. That was because I didn't want to suprise him or rather one of the children to blab.

I'm just going to have to stick to a business like arrange be with no room for flexibility with no 'extra' communication

Eg I sent him a cute pic of the kids this week in their new wellies.
I usually request a parents evening on a day he doesn't work so we can both go.
I wanted to get them an iPod each. He disagreed. I didn't get one.
He suggested dd would benefit from preschool. I agreed I sorted it and paid for it.
I bought extra school uniform to keep at his.

Tbf, he is a good dad. He does good stuff with them, and does buy nice clothes etc. on my birthday/Mother's Day he's sorted gifts for me from the children. He isn't an arse.

But I still think he can fuck off today.

My ExH left me for the OW who he had been shagging seeing for the final 6 months of our marriage!

I met DP a year later and ExH told me he was disappointed I hadn't taken long to get over him and had rushed in to another relationship! Apparently I should have been distraught forever!

Not exactly rude but it is customary to have one marriage properly (as in legally) ended before promising another though!

Don't give him any information about your life- its none of his business.
Keep it to information/ arrangements about DC only.

OMG MammaTJ what an arse.

I was single for 4 years after I got divorced whilst my ex got together with his now wife probably during the marriage just after we got divorced. When he found out I was seeing someone he became aggressive and intimidating and wouldn't leave my house when he dropped the kids off. It's the only time I've had to call the police and they said it happens a lot. A woman starting a new relationship is a trigger for that kind of behaviour even though the men have usually been in relationships already My ex really upped the campaign of control and intimidation after that.

Oh yuk. That's horrible. Especially for children to witness.

I've got to collect them this morning. It'll be business like. Nothing more, nothing less.

AllDirection he is indeed an arse! Not as bad as yours though!
I do think they have the 'I don't want her, but I don't want anyone else to have her' mentality in common!

Omg yes!

It really is irrelevant that you have known your fiancé for 10 years. You children haven't.

I can see his point although think both of you rushed into things with new partners too soon. You as adults may be ready but your children should come first.

Having been a child in this situation i wouldnt wish it on anybody. It got far worse when a new child came along, its amazing how some adults cam treat children so differently.

What happened?