To just want people to stop nagging us about not having a landline!?

[Cookethenook]

This is probably the most boring subject ever, but i'm getting so annoyed with the more senior members of our family insisting that we have a landline and that emails and voicemails get answered the second we get them.

We both have mobile phones, which we are contactable on most of the time. We have a landline for the internet, but no landline phone as we had issues with not being able to make outgoing calls and the last time we tried to sort it out, it cost us £8 SODDING POUNDS in phone bills. Also both of us have more than enough minutes and texts on our phones to be able to call. I do understand it's more expensive to call a mobile from a BT landline, so i've said it's fine to call/ text and say 'can you call me back?' in order to save our family the bill.

But every time i speak to my parents, or aunts and uncles, i'm constantly nagged about how difficult it is for them to get in contact with us, how expensive it is and how we don't call them back straight away. We often get icy phone calls saying 'i left a message yesterday, why haven't you called us back?' It is driving me UP THE WALL! We are guilty of not calling back straight away, as we have children (1 small baby, so i don't pick up the phone during his nap time) and are busy a lot of the time as we pack a lot into our weekends, but we do call back straight away if it's urgent and at least get back to them during the next day or two. I've even been 'told off' about not commenting on one of their facebook comments on my posts! It's bloody ridiculous!

It is really starting to cause me stress, but i don't want to sound rude or like i don't want to speak to them (because i do!). Should i just give in and get the landline fixed or stand my ground? ARGH!

I think Friday made some interesting points but it depends so much on the individuals concerned. My parents call mobile to mobile. (Early 60's). They both have Smart phones so we also use text a lot. PIL (younger) call the rarely used house number for chats but we're rubbish at checking it as we use it so rarely. And there's a company which is still advertising our number as theirs after 6.5 years so we get occasional calls for them. For chatting with dc MIL uses FaceTime and both PIL will now text/email me. With young dc I like the safety net of a landline and have a corded phone in case of power failure.

But for the OP I don't think a landline is actually the issue. It's the fact that you are supposed to be prioritising communicating/being available to them over everything else in your lives. If they leave you a message on the house phone and you're out the response time would be the same. Unless they feel you should be providing them with an itinerary in advance? I think you need to make it clear that they are a part of your life, not your whole life.

don't you find it hugely expensive to phone certain numbers from your mobile?? numbers like 0845/ 0745/sky etc

Yep, I spent a fortune on my.phone this week ringing sky, (to arrange having a phone line and internet installed incidentally) But its so rare that I have to.ring those numbers (and i would normally go to mums and use her landline)

I also get 'minutes' on my payg mobile, vodafone freebees I think its called. They just don't include 08 numbers.

Virgin do internet without a phonline, but it costs the same as sky does with a phoneline. If it was cheaper I could see the point, but its not!.

Not sure what phone you've got but I've got an app for calling 0800 and 0845 numbers which makes them free.

Hadme I've got an android phone, sounds like a good app :)

YANBU.

The only people who ring our landline are my parents and grandparents. And they always always ring during the DCs' bedtime routine, and are thoroughly annoyed if I don't answer. But even if it's during the day and they ring, and I don't answer because I'm not at home, they get very huffy. It's infuriating. My mum, who has had three children herself and should know better, rings me for long-winded one-sided chats at the best times, and can clearly hear the chaos erupting around me but carries on regardless. Infuriating.

Should point out to the pp who said that landlines have caller display: you often have to pay extra for that, well we do anyway.

YANBU - we've never plugged a phone into our landline either.

If I want to call 0845/0800 numbers I use skype, or find the 'Say no to 8070' real number (or, HMRC now has 0300 numbers which cost the same no matter what, which is nice)

If they're that miffed, what I've had for years - so that I could call DP when he was abroad for almost free is a Skype-in number (or whatever they are called now) which looks like a normal phone number, but I can forward to my mobile or any Skype account - costs 50 quid a year I think, but I've saved myself that in calls easily.

I don't think that it's a mobile/landline issue, but that they seem to expect you to be there/return calls immediately.

My Dad is the same.

He'll tell me that he's already called three times for example, but it's never important, he just wants to be able to have a chat when he wants to iyswim.

I've told him I don't know how many times that I walk the dog, swim & sometimes pop to the shops, then am generally home to get lunch ready & might not answer if I'm doing that!

We neither of us have mobiles, but I ouldn't have it with me for any of the above anyway.

most people over about forty reach first for the landline if they're at home, and make calls on that.

Over 40? No. Over 60 maybe.

I agree with diddl that it's not the landline itself that is the issue, but your differing expectations of availability.

YANBU - we've just turned the sound off on our Landline because of the cold callers (yes we're registered with the TPS etc), we check the answerphone when we remember.

There are 4 people with mobiles in the house, over 3000 minutes call time between us, so why would I use a landline that costs me for every call. We use Skype for the overseas relatives as that's free...

When my contract is up for renewal I'll be ditching the Landline & TV totally (Virgin) and just keeping the broad band as we can get by with that, freeview & Netflix.

Over 40? No. Over 60 maybe.

Perhaps. I suspect both of us are starting from n=small
anecdote.

Most of my friends are in their forties or early fifties, and I very rarely get calls from them from other than fixed-line numbers. I can't recall the last time someone called from home, but on a mobile. Your mileage may vary, objects may be closer, adjust dress before leaving, etc.

Although, I do hate it if people don't reply to texts or emails fairly quickly!

Adjust dress before leaving? I haven't heard that one :o

Yes, n=small.

Happily, all our extended family has converted to Skype. They don't even try to call unless they see we are there. We get video images to go with the spoken words. AND it is free. They use e-mails for messages if they need to let us know something but we aren't online.
We still have our landline but only use it when e.g. DP wants to get in touch with me, when I'm at home, but not answering my mobile, which happens quite frequently as it were. (tend to forget to charge it, and the coverage in our house is rubbish).

I do see some of why OPs relatives are a bit upset. They can get in touch urgently, by asking for an immediate call back, or they can wait and chat at a time of OPs convenience. They however can NOT chat to OP at a time of THEIR convenience. They feel like a chat? They'll have to wait a day or two, as OPs time is clearly more precious than theirs. Or that's what it must feel like to them anyway!

OP I suppose that there is some truth in that - you say you are very busy, and, by interference, they are less busy, and accordingly your chats should be scheduled according to YOUR timetable, not to theirs. Maybe it would help if you could clarify to them (maybe it's just so obvious to you that you never even realised they didn't know): They probably feel/think that when they call and it takes you a day or two to call back, that you are just ignoring them and calling back when YOU FEEL LIKE IT; when in fact, you are not ignoring them, but are being very busy, and you call back AS SOON AS YOU HAVE A CHANCE. That's a very different proposition, the former would make me quite upset (as it values your feelings over theirs, and also implies that you don't very often feel like talking to them, which can be hurtful by itself), but (if it were true that I was much less busy than you) then I could accept the latter. If the latter is true, are you certain that they fully understand this?

Basically you're asking them to spend 25p if they want to speak to you (if you're on a PAYG phone, that's the minimum Vodafone call charge). If they text you (12p), you'll call them back in a day or two.

That would come across as a bit rude and a bit precious to most older people I know.

Friday you have just 'vocalised' why I am reluctant to give up our landline. Thank you, you have persuaded me why we should keep it. This subject comes up every now and again and I have never been able to quite pin point my hesitation in getting rid of it.

I never use my landline to call a mobile, on my unlimited landline phone/broadband package it would be exorbitant. My payg mobile is for safety in the car, emergencies and travelling, I don't need to be accessible to the world 24/7 or need to consult anyone before I buy a box of cereal. And I only answer my landline if it suits me, thats what call minder is for. Face to face trumps the telephonic in my book and it is plain rude to prioritise a 'phone over present person.

My sister doesn't have a landline and it rely gets on my nerves. She rarely answers her mobile, replies to texts or calls back to voicemails. Says she's too busy (she has no kids and few hobbies, how is she busier than me with 1 toddler and 1 on the way?!). Plus our parents live in New Zealand so it's extortionate for them to call her, they have to rely on email.

I can see it from your side too, don't get me wrong, but it can be frustrating from the other side.

Oh, and that 'we're so busy' doesn't wash, its just an excuse for poor manners or a lack of organisation.

Also, yes they can leave a voicemail r text you to ask you to call, but how do they know if you've noticed it/listened to it/read it? Especially if it's urgent.

Oops posted too early!

Was going to add its a bit like asking them to call to request an appointment to speak to you, and you'll decide when you're free.

I call from my mobile at home as it's free for me, whereas landline is only free evenings and weekends.

And is it really still more expensive to ring a mobile from a landline, or on PAYG? I thought recent changes had equalised all these charges.