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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jeremy Hunt, what an arsehole

69 replies

camilamoran · 18/10/2013 10:58

Apparently, the reason we have so many lonely old people is because, unlike the East where they respect their elders, people here stick their grannies in residential care 'as a first resort'.

What is his evidence that this is true or the main cause of loneliness in the old? I'm at the age now where I know a lot of people coping with their aging parents. I also know some people who work with carers. I don't know anyone who stuck their parents in a nursing home as a first resort because they are getting a bit old and annoying. I know people putting a lot of time, money and thought into keeping their parents at home for as long as possible. I know people who have found nursing homes for parents, after a lot of heart searching, because of the amount of care their parents need.

OP posts:
Original poster
camilamoran · 18/10/2013 11:01

Of course, I will change my mind when Mr Hunt gives up his job to become a full time carer for his parents. But I strongly suspect he will expect his wife to do that.

OP posts:
NotYoMomma · 18/10/2013 11:03

my mil cares for 3 older people in their homes unpaid! she is a paid carer for her own mother but cooks nightly for 3 others and does all tye washing etc

its a joke.

she made Sunday dinner for 16 people last week. she delivers hot meals and makes sure medication is taken, rings drs

but of course this is all undocumented as you can inly be a carer for one person I think?

my fil works in a care home. he is paid a pittance and I have seen him weep over some people and he has been the only one there when people die.

as a result they get wtc and some help as they have low income, mil has been called a benefit scrounger Shock

I actually hate Jeremy Cunt

people do care, there is just so much pressure on them

ohmymimi · 18/10/2013 11:06

I think you'll find he's quite another orifice.

colleysmill · 18/10/2013 11:06

I'm so childish that I still laugh just thinking about that newsreader who mistakenly called him by a different surname.

But Yanbu. Both my grannies are in care homes for their own personal safety (history of setting fire to kitchen, increasing visual impairment and unable to manage at home due to dementia, bed bound requiring 24 hour care) and carers didn't work. First resort? No. It was still a hard decision to make.

NotYoMomma · 18/10/2013 11:07

my mother in law also had a day away once and gave people breakfast, made hearty home made soup to have for lunch (ensuring it was in each persons microwave to press go) and she was back by 5pm for tea.

one day.

her mother fell over f
at around 10am (just out of reach of her home alarm) and mil was distraught when she went in at tea time.

she gets NO thabks of family members but actually got endless shit from them saying she was a neglectful carer etc.

where were they?

I get so upset remembering the drama

CMOTDibbler · 18/10/2013 11:09

Oh good, I shall look forward to Jeremy Hunt coming and looking after my mum. I'm sure he will love her spitting out food onto his plate, shouting at his child for no reason, and hiding food in the sofa. While Jeremy gets on with his job round all this - and no long nights sleeping Jeremy! No, you'll need to put her back to bed a few times every night, but I'm sure you'll manage fine.

The man has no flipping idea at all does he.

BigBoobiedBertha · 18/10/2013 11:11

Who can afford residential care as a first resort?

Ginformation · 18/10/2013 11:14

YANBU for many many reasons, but especially for your fabulous thread title.

ButThereAgain · 18/10/2013 11:16

Just posting to keep the thread title in active convos, really.

And to say we do care for the elderly, and other vulnerable people. We care so much that we set up the NHS and a welfare state so that we could do it effectively. Thanks for dismantling it Jeremy, you utter cunt.

colleysmill · 18/10/2013 11:17

Nice to know the government are now producing cloning machines so we can all be in 2 places at once - at work earning our wage (as they are so insistent we all work and get off state dependence) whilst at the same time home caring for our relatives.

Amazing!

NotYoMomma · 18/10/2013 11:20

didnt they just push through more health reforms as England played Poland in order for it to be easier for them to close nhs wards on the sly?

grrr

gordyslovesheep · 18/10/2013 11:21

My mum has expressly forbidden me or my sister from caring for her should it be required. She is fiercely independent and wishes to go into a retirement community where she will be cared for by people who's job it is if that makes sense

she would hate me or my sister fussing over her

I have a brilliant relationship with my mum and love her dearly but caring for her is not on the cards

quiet aside from the fact she is 200 miles away and I work and have 3 kids!

sebsmummy1 · 18/10/2013 11:30

I love that everyone is expected to work until they are near on 70, whilst raising a family and providing future pension provision. However we are also expected to care for ageing parents. I am not sure how exactly the government proposes we find the time to do all of this.

When women were allowed to stay at home and care for the family it might be something we could have done alongside our other daily obligations. However now it's a case of everyone out the house for 8am and back in the house for 6pm, homework, dinner, bath, bed, prepare work for following day, collapse.

I think they are cheeky bastards.

ubik · 18/10/2013 11:40

You wonder what sort of world these politicians live in. Perhaps it's the first resort among Jeremy's pals and colleagues but it certainly isn't in the rest of Britain.

Cock

As for those wonderful eastern traditions - my neighbour cared full time for her father-in law until he was over 100 and as she is Sikh, and the wife of the eldest son, she was expected to do it. I found her crying in the communal stairwell one day. She was extremely unhappy.

Caring is tough and sometimes it's just too much for people. But thanks Jeremy for adding another layer of guilt.

ohmymimi · 18/10/2013 11:43

My experience does not tally with his claim. Most of my more elderly friends are supported by their families and friends to enable them to continue to stay in their homes, and most of my younger friends (50s/60s) provide support and care. Three nursed their terminally ill mums at home. I cared for my mum for 15 years. So many of us cook, clean, shop and do paperwork for elderly family and friends, visit them in hospital or their care home, take them out and monitor them daily to ensure they are safe. Of course there are lonely elderly folk, but to imply the main cause is their selfish, uncaring relatives was ignorant and insulting.

Echocave · 18/10/2013 11:51

It really is one of the most ludicrous things he's said (and I think there's some competition there!). The way our society is structured is totally different and mainly the result of the fact that (if you're lucky) you're a wage slave til you're ready for the retirement home yourself.
It is such a fatuous comment to compare such different societies and to judge British people for having to go to work (which is what this government and its 'hard working people' mantra appears to be all about).
Just - enough Hunt!!

FlapJackOLantern · 18/10/2013 12:01

I think you are overreacting! What he means, and you well know it, is that in the East elder family members are still incorporated into the wider family by tradition and are treated with respect.. Over here we tend to live separately.

UsedToBeNDP · 18/10/2013 12:03

Clearly shoulda been cunt.

You missed a golden opportunity OP. For that, YABU. For the general sentiment of your thread, YANBU Wink

ShadeofViolet · 18/10/2013 12:11

So they want people in work, not claiming benefits
They want carers in work, not claiming benefits

In the Tory ideal world, who is meant to look after all those people who need caring for? Not the SAHP's, they will be in work. Not the carers, they will be in work. Not those who are also sick, they will be in work. And anyone on JSA will be working for a pittance on Workfare.

So who will do it?

Original poster
camilamoran · 18/10/2013 12:19

UsedToBe , I did consider that, but I decided it sounded too much like a nursery rhyme.

OP posts:
UsedToBeNDP · 18/10/2013 12:21

or a Viz pastiche Grin

ubik · 18/10/2013 12:23

In the East, family structures are very different.

And without a welfare state, 'granny dumping' is on the rise. One elderly lady was found dumped on a rubbish tip in India.

DreamingofSummer · 18/10/2013 12:23

Another posh Tory with absolutely no idea.

He's his own rhyming slang

joanofarchitrave · 18/10/2013 12:28

Is this something to do with a trade deal with China?

Come and sit in the family meetings I attend, Jeremy. And tell me why centuries of tradition in this country involving living separately from your parents should just disappear for your convenience so that you can pay 40% tax.

Echocave · 18/10/2013 12:33

But Flapjack, is it appropriate to make such a comparison? People live separately here largely because of the realities of working etc which leads to things like people having children when they are older (ok I'm no expert, this is just my impression!). Making sweeping statements that are at odds with the real impact of other Government policy is unhelpful and disingenuous.
I really find such a lot of these Big Society type statements laughable. And I speak as one who has in the past voted conservative (I know, I know).