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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Jeremy Hunt, what an arsehole

69 replies

camilamoran · 18/10/2013 10:58

Apparently, the reason we have so many lonely old people is because, unlike the East where they respect their elders, people here stick their grannies in residential care 'as a first resort'.

What is his evidence that this is true or the main cause of loneliness in the old? I'm at the age now where I know a lot of people coping with their aging parents. I also know some people who work with carers. I don't know anyone who stuck their parents in a nursing home as a first resort because they are getting a bit old and annoying. I know people putting a lot of time, money and thought into keeping their parents at home for as long as possible. I know people who have found nursing homes for parents, after a lot of heart searching, because of the amount of care their parents need.

OP posts:

whattodoo · 18/10/2013 21:14

Kitty get in touch with your local Age UK. They've probably got a befriending scheme, where volunteers are welcomed with open arms if they can commit to visiting or phoning an older person regularly. Just an hour every week or so will help an older person enormously.

acrabadabra · 18/10/2013 21:15

Yabu to ask if a tory minister is an arsehole.

Why do you have to ask? They are ALL arseholes.

complexnumber · 18/10/2013 21:34

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24582782

For many people, regardless of why, loneliness seems to be a fact of life.

I'm not sure that can solely be blamed on JH, it is a symptom of our society.

Chipstick10 · 18/10/2013 21:40

I'm sure if a labour minister had said it, it wouldn't Warrent it's own thread. Yaaaawwwnnn.

josephinebruce · 18/10/2013 21:52

Well, Mr *unt is, of course, married to a Chinese woman, which is probably where his ideas about this came from. I am assuming that if his parents require care that their serfs cannot provide then it will be his wife doing it.

My elderly (70's) parents live with me. I'm alone, no children, but I have to work full time just to pay the bills and they only have their pension. I am an only child and divorce/bereavement has taken all my savings. If they have to go into the home I'll be paying as the house is mine and they lived in rented accomodation before moving in with me.

I don't really know what point I'm trying to make, tbh. Hunt is an arsehole and, as a member of NHS staff, he is widely hated to the point that Andrew Lansley is looking almost good.

My parents are fine, but I am so bloody lonely and isolated that I don't know what to do.

After spending my life working my arse off, I will end up in a home like Orchid Vale because I have no one to look after me.

bigbluebus · 18/10/2013 21:57

I thought I had heard a suggestion of some sort of 'foster care' scheme for old people. So they weren't just talking about looking after your own family, but taking on someone who maybe doesn't have any family!

I would happily look after my aging parents to save them going in to a home, but to do that I would need to put my severely disabled (now adult) daughter into residential care - and that would probably cost a lot more than putting her granny in a home.

I have tried to get my parents to move nearer to me whilst they are still fit enough to move (both in mid 80s) but they won't leave the home they have been in for 50 years.

SO Jeremy, I would prefer not to put my parents in a home, but when they are no longer able to care for themselves or one of them dies and leaves the other unable to cope on their own, I can't see any other option.

crazyspaniel · 18/10/2013 23:18

Great idea. People can use their spare bedrooms to accomodate elderly parents. Oh, hang on . . .

threecee · 19/10/2013 12:45

I think Jeremy probably has more evidence on this subject than you, and why are you so bothered ? did you post about Andy Burnham and Mis Staffs as a matter of interest ?

2old2beamum · 19/10/2013 12:56

crazyspaniel if it wasn't so bloody sad

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 19/10/2013 12:59

Maybe all these elderly people can go in the extra bedrooms some people have...oh no, wait....

He's an arse.

filee777 · 19/10/2013 13:02

YABU

It's Jeremy Hunt what a CUNT.

Strumpetron · 19/10/2013 13:06

I'd love to see him look after a 19 stone man who has been paralysed due to a stroke, unable to dress, wash or toilet himself

or a woman suffering from dementia who is prone to hurting herself and others around her.

People need more support not being condemned by an arsehole who knows nothing.

hackmum · 19/10/2013 13:15

I know a number of people caring for elderly relatives. It's not easy. And there often comes a point where they need 24-hour care. So anyone who does that for a relative is going to have to give up work and also have their relative move in with them. A lot of people don't have the time, money or space to do that.

lifeissweet · 19/10/2013 13:17

My step-father's mother is 93. She is as mentally sharp as a tack. She was living 300miles away from her son and my DM.

She was keeping her house adequately well, but has diverticulitis and has fallen and broken her hip in the last year. She is frail.

My DM was getting increasingly worried and wanted her to come and live with them, but they live in a house full of stairs and had no way to create her a bedroom downstairs. On top of which, my step-grandmother didn't want to live there.

So the solution was to put find her a nursing home. They found her one near to them so that they can now visit every day. They are no longer worried sick because she won't fall without bring found. On top of that, she has made new friends. She is far less lonely than she was all alone in her bungalow. She also has a Catholic Chapel on site, which is really important to her. She's very happy. If she hadn't been, there would have been another solution to find.

I'm not sure it follows that care home = lonely. In fact I would argue that interaction with staff, other residents, activities provided, meals prepared and shared with others would decrease loneliness considerably when compared to living with family who are all out at work all day.

Being 'a culture secretary' was a term of abuse for months in this house after that little 'slip' on the news!

Boardingblues · 19/10/2013 13:46

I think that what he said has struck a chord with many people - and many posting here. There are many lonely, elderly people. Fact. The government cannot legislate to end loneliness. Fact. There are many older people whose family are too busy with their own lives to visit or care for their elderly relatives. Unfortunately, I suspect the majority of the people who do (deliberately?) ignore their elderly relatives (and neighbours) will not consider or even hear his words. Those that do consider his opinions are the ones who are considerate of the needs of all their family and therefore take umbrage. Rather than using base terms to attack a man who made a reasonable point about OUR society, why not direct that anger towards the people who ignore elderly people in need?

ParsingFright · 19/10/2013 15:47

Because his government has forced cuts on local councils, causing closure of services to elderly people? Like day centres and social care?

And because he is binding burdens for other people which he is unlikely to share? As many have said, I doubt he's planning to give up his job to wipe his elderly parents' or PILs' arses.

cleopatrasasp · 19/10/2013 17:36

It really isn't as simplistic as this arse makes it out to be. My Gran has aggressive dementia which includes paranoia that makes her think I am out to steal from her and 'stick her in a care home' (I really am not by-the-way, I've always loved her very much). She is estranged from both her children - the fault there lies on her side as well as theirs - and has never really bothered with friends or any of her other relatives, so none of them care what happens to her.

She won't let me help her and has no-one else. Half of this is due to her personality and half to her illness but it makes it impossible to look after her. She now has carers & goes to daycare after almost being sectioned, but when I tried to suggest this to her years ago she wouldn't hear of it at all, it took her having no choice but to accept this help to actually get her to accept it. If she hadn't she would have been sectioned for her own safety. At first her social worker was really funny with me as she clearly saw my Gran as a poor, lonely old woman. After she had dealt with her for about a week (and got to know me as well) her attitude changed completely as she could see there was much more to the story than simply a family disowning a vulnerable elderly relative.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 19/10/2013 17:41

You aren't looking at the big picture here folks.

Once we get all these grannies rehoused, they can be put to work knitting jumpers so that the family never has to turn the heating on.

Original poster

camilamoran · 20/10/2013 12:49

Brilliant idea Tony!

OP posts:

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