To think that when the aliens come and attack us

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

That we should send in not the army, not even Spider Man, Batman, Superman or even the wonderful Doctor Who...BUT...hoards of young children armed with toothpaste?

This seems to be the most hideous combination of anything that could possibly be and how the fuckery it gets into and onto places that it does is a mystery. I hate it more than glitter, yet have to go through the trauma of dealing with it twice a day.

How do you get toothpaste stains off clothes. Does anyone know?

Toothpaste in one hand, Sudocrem in the other. Impenetrable.

And a banana. It'll dry all hard and brown and the aliens won't be able to figure out what the hell it actually is when they find it a week later :)

I'd send in my toddler after he's had a bowl of tomato soup. Makes me bork at the sight of it!

Toddlers armed with weetabix surely? Yeeeeuch!

Toddlers armed with weetabix surely

Oh yes definitely. It's hammer and chisel time getting that stuff off

Toddlers armed with weetabix surely

Oh yes definitely. It's hammer and chisel time getting that stuff off

I binned a blazer last week as dd1 got toothpaste on it and I just thought 'i dont like it enough to put the washing effort in' lol

I second wetabix. Wetabix and banana will bring down the ships.

I wonder now, could weetabix mixed with toothpaste make a good cement for building houses?

Whatever it is they feed dd at nursery. Each day they write something different in her communication book, yet each day the stains round the neck of her clothes are the same colour. It's a mystery to me, and I've yet to find a successful stain removal method.

Weetabix with banana pieces, when dried its stronger than superglue

Just watching Men in Black for the first time in years - OP the aliens are already here

May I offer toddler plus spaghetti hoops? They go everywhere! And then when all the juice has rubbed off on the carpet the remnants of said hoop get stuck all over your socks.

I agree Baldricks, spaghetti hoops are evil

What a disappointment, I thought this thread would contain some practical advice on self-preservation post the invasion. I've lined my second bathroom with foil and stored enough tinned goods, bottled water etc for around three months. When you mentioned the juvenile toothpaste squad my heart missed a beat. Shame on you for raising my hopes.

I'm very sorry about that ohmymimi. I'm sure there ARE aliens on their way, but they might have accidentally tuned their spaceship internet connection into mumsnet and now be wondering if TABU to invade or not!

Might explain why we keep getting error messages- the aliens are usi all the bandwidth or whatever it is!

*using

Glitter. Arm them with glitter as well.

And nothing hurts more than being head butted by a baby.

MTM, you are forgiven (puts on foil helmet and returns to scanning sky with binoculars).

It's got to be glitter. Those aliens will be scratching their heads for ages.

We could also throw in toddlers with nits.

Farleys rusks, as gummed chewed by my 8mo. Cement has nothing on that!

Also porridge, but especially Readybrek. Nearly as bad as Weetabix when it dries!