I had an unusual childhood, I would like to describe it as vibrant and haphazard but there are aspects of it that now I have my own dc I see possibly neglect.
For example we didn't own pyjamas, we just slept in our clothes. We were given lots of freedom, I was allowed to do as I wanted, me and my dm were looking through childhood keepsakes and we found a note I had written, it said "at mars bog an brover wif mi luf misspontypine" it should have said "we are at Mary's, my brother and the dog are with me. Love from misspontypine" I would have been 5 or 6 when I wrote the note, my brother would have been 3 or 4, the dog was a huge alsation mix, Mary's house was over a mile away and we rode there by bike (alond a cannal.) Another example is when I was a small baby we lived on a commune which was on a farm. My mum would leave me with the goats and then go off and do her jobs on the farm. We were left in the kids field at glastonbury for hours at the age of 4/5/6.
We were never emotionally neglected, we had lots of love given to us and our interests were supported, it was very much the practical side of things which were less than ideal.
My problem is that I find it hard to judge if the things I do with my son are ok, I would love your honest opinion as to if these things would be seen as negligent.
Licking shoes. We have a shoes off house so we lots of shoes by the door, ds likes to play and sometimes lick/chew the shoes (especially wellies) he has lots of lovely toys but they are not as interesting as the old shoes.
Playing with the pushchair wheels. Same issue as playing with shoes I guess.
Eating things from the floor. We hoover daily but we are doing some baby led weaning so there are often small bits of old food we have missed. Ds finds these bits of food and eats them. I try to get them out but his 3 teeth are very sharp and his jaw is very stron!
Drinking bath water. Ds loves to suck his flannel, we offer him water all the time and try to take his flannel away and give him a sucky cup with water but he only wants the flannel.
Ds co-sleeps, we have his cot attached to our bed with one side taken off and at the same height as our bed, We put him to bed asleep and make a wall of pillows. Ds has a sleepingbag. He could theoretically crawl/climb out of the bed but so far when he has woken he just shouts for us to come in. I think we would hear if he tried to climb out of the bed (we have a monitor my mother advised us we didn't need one, baby do cry you know, you don't need to hear them)
All advice appreciated. Sorry if they sound like stupid/obvious questions. It isn't the sort of thing I feel like I can talk to my friends about.
AIBU?
To ask you for help to decide if I am neglecting my dc?
misspontypine · 17/10/2013 19:21
I used to suck the bath sponge till I was about 10 
Also had a thing about biting rubber.
I turned out relatively normal 
Licking shoes/Playing with the pushchair wheels - I'd try to stop him doing it as they really are revolting, but if there's nowhere else for the buggy & shoes and you can't physically keep him away, then I'd give up & hope his immune system is up to it!!
Eating things from the floor - meh. Once again, I'd try to stop him, but wouldn't stress too much - more of a choking concern than a 'germ' concern - for me.
Drinking bath water/sucking flannels/eating sponges - disgusting & revolting, but all kids do it and after a while you just kind of give up & leave them to it.
Ds co-sleeps etc - sounds fine to me. I'd spend time with him in there when he's awake and 'teach' him to get off the bed backwards.
It makes such a refreshing change to read something like this :) Don't change!!
Your childhood was pretty wild 
but you survived it! You were loved and yes, your parents were ummm relaxed & their parenting style was certainly not of the helicoptering variety, but I wouldn't call it neglect given the era. You should read about Sarah Beeny's childhood - very similar!
15mo DD likes to dip her hand in muddy puddles then suck her fingers. Yum
Sounds normal! I would tidy shoes away if poss as I would worry about dog poo, though. My DS is obsessed with the pram wheels too and with drinking bath water. Even straight after telling me he's done a wee in it
everything you describe is how I am with dd..so if you're doing it wrong so am I 
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I grew up in an oh-so-conventional (but lovely and loving) household OP. But I have an almost identical take on parenting things as you bar the co-sleeping (have coslept periodically in the past but baby now sleeps in his cot).
My gorgeous 9mo DS is a mahoosive fan of sucking flannels in the bath Two flannels at once if he can get away with it!
I think a bit of grit and grime should be part of every normal childhood tbh. My mum was a very conscientious mum in many ways but she will cheerfully recount how my DSis as a baby would invariably, even if plonked in the middle of the lawn, crawl to the edge of said lawn and eat dirt! We were also often found bathing our teddies by putting them down the loo We have both grown up happy and healthy. I am sure your DS will too.
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