I had an unusual childhood, I would like to describe it as vibrant and haphazard but there are aspects of it that now I have my own dc I see possibly neglect.
For example we didn't own pyjamas, we just slept in our clothes. We were given lots of freedom, I was allowed to do as I wanted, me and my dm were looking through childhood keepsakes and we found a note I had written, it said "at mars bog an brover wif mi luf misspontypine" it should have said "we are at Mary's, my brother and the dog are with me. Love from misspontypine" I would have been 5 or 6 when I wrote the note, my brother would have been 3 or 4, the dog was a huge alsation mix, Mary's house was over a mile away and we rode there by bike (alond a cannal.) Another example is when I was a small baby we lived on a commune which was on a farm. My mum would leave me with the goats and then go off and do her jobs on the farm. We were left in the kids field at glastonbury for hours at the age of 4/5/6.
We were never emotionally neglected, we had lots of love given to us and our interests were supported, it was very much the practical side of things which were less than ideal.
My problem is that I find it hard to judge if the things I do with my son are ok, I would love your honest opinion as to if these things would be seen as negligent.
Licking shoes. We have a shoes off house so we lots of shoes by the door, ds likes to play and sometimes lick/chew the shoes (especially wellies) he has lots of lovely toys but they are not as interesting as the old shoes.
Playing with the pushchair wheels. Same issue as playing with shoes I guess.
Eating things from the floor. We hoover daily but we are doing some baby led weaning so there are often small bits of old food we have missed. Ds finds these bits of food and eats them. I try to get them out but his 3 teeth are very sharp and his jaw is very stron!
Drinking bath water. Ds loves to suck his flannel, we offer him water all the time and try to take his flannel away and give him a sucky cup with water but he only wants the flannel.
Ds co-sleeps, we have his cot attached to our bed with one side taken off and at the same height as our bed, We put him to bed asleep and make a wall of pillows. Ds has a sleepingbag. He could theoretically crawl/climb out of the bed but so far when he has woken he just shouts for us to come in. I think we would hear if he tried to climb out of the bed (we have a monitor my mother advised us we didn't need one, baby do cry you know, you don't need to hear them)
All advice appreciated. Sorry if they sound like stupid/obvious questions. It isn't the sort of thing I feel like I can talk to my friends about.
AIBU?
To ask you for help to decide if I am neglecting my dc?
misspontypine · 17/10/2013 19:21
Dd2 sleeps with us she's 15months. I have pulled cot right up to the bed to use it as a barrier from fallibg out (side still on) about the only use we have had from it 
she wiggles down the end of the bed and gets off feet first when she wants, we have a stairgate so she's fine.
she's also fallen out twice before we did the cot thing but bounced
You are doing fine!
What you do with your dcs sounds normal to me. I would just gently discourage the shoe licking and eating off the floor but seems fairly normal things children do and generally come to relatively little harm 
The flannel thing came up recently loads of times on a thread about guilty pleasures, seems like loads of us did it as kids! I'd be a bit 
about the pram wheels and shoes, but not totally freaking out.
Agree that the only thing I'd worry about is the pillow wall, falling out of a bed is generally less risky than getting wedged in with a pillow, especially while he's wearing a sleeping bag.
Sounds like your childhood was fun! I was raised by hippies (though ours tended to do the reverse with sleeping and let us spend the day in pyjamas or naked 
)
OP you sound lovely 
You don't want my brood do you? 
I grew up in an oh-so-conventional (but lovely and loving) household OP. But I have an almost identical take on parenting things as you bar the co-sleeping (have coslept periodically in the past but baby now sleeps in his cot).
My gorgeous 9mo DS is a mahoosive fan of sucking flannels in the bath Two flannels at once if he can get away with it!
I think a bit of grit and grime should be part of every normal childhood tbh. My mum was a very conscientious mum in many ways but she will cheerfully recount how my DSis as a baby would invariably, even if plonked in the middle of the lawn, crawl to the edge of said lawn and eat dirt! We were also often found bathing our teddies by putting them down the loo We have both grown up happy and healthy. I am sure your DS will too.
everything you describe is how I am with dd..so if you're doing it wrong so am I 
Sounds normal! I would tidy shoes away if poss as I would worry about dog poo, though. My DS is obsessed with the pram wheels too and with drinking bath water. Even straight after telling me he's done a wee in it
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