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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have kicked off at another mother for confirming her child's fear of dogs!

364 replies

MrJugsMummy · 15/10/2013 17:12

Just taken my DS and our 1 year old springer spaniel for a walk in our local park. He was running off his lead as he always does and a toddler walked around the corner without her mother. Our spaniel is quite a caring dog and loves children and often tends to mother them somewhat (he worried himself senseless when my DS was ill last week slept on the sofa next to him and woke every time he so much as sniffed!) so he went up to the child the child screamed I called Brian away and said to the little girl "it's fine he won't hurt you he just wants to say hi", the kids mother then decided to make an appearance and pick up the child and had a go at me saying that I shouldn't let my dog off of his lead! She then turned to the child and said "Did he bite you?" to watch the child now upping the screaming and crying actually said "No" she then turned to me and said my dog was a menace and shouldn't be allowed near children!

I snapped at this point and said "My dog was concerned about the fact your child was seemingly by itself in a park, he simply went up to her to check she was ok, he didn't even jump up at her let alone bite her" she then started saying again that he shouldn't be off his lead!
I really got riled up then and shouted "My 5 year old son is here right next to me, I would have no qualms about leaving him alone in a room with my dog as he is well trained and good tempered and adores him, if I had any doubts about his behaviour I would not have him as a family pet and if I had any concerns about his behaviour around children do you seriously I would let him off his lead in a park after school with loads of children around!" I then stormed off and muttered that she was a stupid bitch!

I get so annoyed at parents who do this if your child doesn't like dogs don't take them to places where dogs are, I get that all children are scared of things but why confirm the fear?! If my DS ever shows fear about something I either reassure him that nothing will hurt him or tell him how to avoid being hurt.

Grr rant over

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 15/10/2013 20:43

WORRIED BRIAN

DarkVelvetySilkyShiraz · 15/10/2013 20:44

Amber

suebfg · 15/10/2013 20:44

YABU. I love dogs but my DS doesn't and I find it really irritating when dog owners with dogs on or off a lead allow their dogs - particularly quite big dogs - to get very close to and sniff DS - and then when he backs away, they say 'oh, it's OK, my dog is friendly'. Well, it's not OK and small children in particular can find big dogs very intimidating. You might love your dog but don't assume everyone else will or should.

Libertine73 · 15/10/2013 20:44

that's how she knew he was concerned :)

YouTheCat · 15/10/2013 20:44

I don't think I'd mind so much if Brian Blessed bounded up in the park.

notanyanymore · 15/10/2013 20:45

My mums doing is scared of his own shadow, but super concerned re all the grandchildren, very protective and sweet etc. I would never leave him on his own with any of them for a second. He's a dog!! I have a greater expectation of my 8 month old to act 'appropriately' around the dog, then I do to trust the dog to always react 'appropriately'. People often superimpose thought's and feelings onto animals unrealistically.

TerrorTremor · 15/10/2013 20:45

This has turned into a right debate, I could see that coming even after reading the first paragraph.

FWIW I think it depends a lot on what people's definition of an out of control dog is. To be a dog who just jumps a little infront of you isn't out of control. But if it tries to jump on you in a way that could make you fall, to me that would be out of control. Others might have a different definition.

I also think in this situation there was fault on both sides. If it is a park where dogs are allowed, I can't understand why someone would bring their young child to it if they are scared of dogs. Well behaved dogs or not, they'd still be frightened.

At the same time the OP should have had the dog right next to her throughout the walk unless otherwise needed (small run, toilet etc) and when the little girl came around the corner the owner should've told Brian to come. If the little girl then requested to pet Brian then OP could've said, 'Hi Rosie is it? This is Brian. He's a very friendly dog but don't be too rough with him' then let him be petted.

I think it's always a fine line.

I hate plain dog hating, it's ridiculous.
I hate owners who don't think about others feelings and safety.

So really, we all need to work together. Which is tough when people are on a completely different page.

AmberLeaf · 15/10/2013 20:46

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/10/2013 20:47

Maybe Brian read it and hid the thread for her. So she wouldn't be upset.

StanleyLambchop · 15/10/2013 20:48

Just read the whole thread (phew) and the comment that most stands out for me is by Snatchoo It's up to you to control your dog, the child did nothin apart from get upset. I'm scared of dogs, I don't know why, I just am. I don't like being belittled because 'he's just friendly' - how the fuck do I know that?

This is my position too, I am scared of dogs, because someone let their dog bound up to me when I was small. I never know if a dog is 'just friendly' or not. OP I would not appreciate your dog trying to take over the parenting of my child either. Checking she was ok, indeed!

pianodoodle · 15/10/2013 20:50

I have a feeling there is something in law about what is deemed to be an out of control dog. I think a person only has to feel threatened for it to be considered dangerously out of control but I'm not sure.

dexter73 · 15/10/2013 20:50

Jesus - you've hit the nail on the head!
Op & Brian

YouTheCat · 15/10/2013 20:51

That's right, Piano. Dangerous Dogs act.

DarkVelvetySilkyShiraz · 15/10/2013 20:52

I dont give a flying F if someone says their bloody dog is friendly.
The last time I heard that comment the " friendly" adorable sheep dog was suddenly pinning my little doggie down and taking a huge fucking chunk out of her. started to attack her.

They put the dog straight in the car, came to apologise, TWICE, checked over my dog stayed with me while I calmed down and gave the usual....oooh...he has never done this before......

They were very very nice, shocked as much as me, but for gods sake people! Give ME the right conditions and I may turn into a rabid animal, they, we are all animals and un predictable!

Stop saying MY DOG IS FRIENDLY!

DarkVelvetySilkyShiraz · 15/10/2013 20:53

Defo Jesus .

Do you think Brian is also comforting her with special doggy massage? As only the "Brians" of this world can?

plum100 · 15/10/2013 20:55

it wouldnt be acceptable to me for a human to come bounding over to me and sniff me cos 'he's friendly' - I would feel intimidated - same goes for dogs

Chippednailvarnish · 15/10/2013 20:56

Given that Brian is only one, maybe he's on the G&T list at puppy school. Especially with his ability to protect children.

Bahhhhhumbug · 15/10/2013 20:57

I stand corrected Dallas and l do know an adorable staffie and a lovely soft rottie (don't they make adorable pups btw) myself. But when l see some of these 'fighting' dogs such as the massive French mastiffs and the pitbull big unfriendly staffie (the owner grabs him when anyone approaches but what if a child appeared from behind a bush etc) I just cringe. These three dogs have some 'form' between them of attacking other dogs and one bit an owners hand intervening.
But fair comment yes the rotties and the ridgeback on our park have no ' form' or reputation apart from breed generalisations but l would feel happier seeing a smaller bouncier dog closing in on me but that's just me so that is l concede very unfair of me to question their owners choice of breed.

Blu · 15/10/2013 20:58

The OP is busy giving Brian some last minute tips for his big day tomorrow.

He has an interview for the job as Head of Children's Services in Haringey.

Good luck, Brian - you'll be great!

LePetitPrince · 15/10/2013 20:59

I have a child who is terrified after someone's very "friendly" dog ran around a playground barking , snarling and jumping on kids and then savaged a small dog.. In blind terror my LO falls off the bike when a dog chases her; yet people allow their dogs to run wild.
YABVU

runes · 15/10/2013 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

DeepPurple · 15/10/2013 21:00

OP has vanished. Friendly Brian was sick of her saying he was friendly and has eaten her.

topknob · 15/10/2013 21:00

lol at this thread..I have a GSD and never would I allow her to approach any child, ever, except my own. You abvvvvvvu. On the flip side if someones dog approaches my kids off lead, they tend to know not to do it again.

Retropear · 15/10/2013 21:04

My ds was bitten by somebody who said their dog was friendly.Consequently all 3 of my dc are terrified.Ds in particular,so much so he jumps if he sees one and is worried about going to a party where there is a dog in a house.

He is 10 and would have been terrified in the op's situation.No dog has the right to invade anybody's space.

Oh and re springers that was the breed another child was rushed in for reconstructive surgery by a bite from the family pet when my DS was in hospital having his tonsils out.

YoureBeingADick · 15/10/2013 21:08

Retro- your ds was bitten by somebody?

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