To want to give up work and have babies?

[DangerOfDisaster]

I've just turned 25. I always thought I wanted sproglings around 27/28 but recently (6 months) I've had a yearning to start earlier. I'm settled in a long term relationship, I've been with Mr Right for 8 years, we've talked about getting married but we don't think its really worth the expense at this time. We own our home and we've both been steadily moving up the pay scale for the 3 years since we left university.

I've mentioned reproducing sooner rather than later to DP and I think he may have experienced more than a few heart palpitations. He's the kind that wants everything settled; wants to be married, have done renovations to the house and basically does feel it's a bit soon. I think this is fair enough, the feelings surprised me too, nevertheless they still exist and I can't stop thinking about it.

I've also been having a hard time at work recently, how much can this be contributing to my feelings about kids?

I want to say no time is the right time but we also both feel that me being the lower earner should become a sahm and I really don't know if this is feasible. How much does one man need to earn to support a growing family?

Reading back through this post I seem to be more worried than I thought. There are so many issues about becoming a mum than scare me so maybe it is still too soon...

I'm the same age as you. Up until about a year ago, I was of the same mind as you. Maybe not as broody, but defo though "I could totally handle a baby". Then my boss had one. Dear god, it was the most effective contraceptive ever. He's a complainer and comes in daily with stories of his (adorable, clever, facesmooshing) little boy teething, projectile vomiting, kicking him in the kidneys, catching mystery colds, terrorising the dog..... It all just seems so tiring. Definitely one day, but not yet.

You are at the point where you have a bit of spare cash, the time and inclination to have experiences as a couple. That time, those laughs, and the fact that you've waited until he's ready as well, will be the glue that keeps you together when you're awake at 3am trying to comb baby sick out of your hair with your fingers. Don't mess that shit up by pushing him into something that he's not ready to do [flicks through mini break catelogue]

25 is not too young, I had DS when I was 25 and it was a good age to become a mother IMO, I was ridiculously broody, but in saying that it's important that your DP is on the same page.

I think you sound bored more than broody, OP, tbh. It sounds as if you are tired of your current life stage, having jumped all hurdles so far - university, job, meeting someone, buying a house etc - and you think this would be the next 'thing', especially as your job is not fulfilling you at the moment.

As well as the fact that your OH isn't ready, I would counsel caution. I agree with what TheCraicDealer says about the experiences you have now with your OH being the glue that keeps you together as parents when times are tough. I also (as someone who had her first child at 39) feel that it was really psychologically helpful to have had years of travelling and living spontaneously as a couple and independently before the inevitable restrictions of having a child.

I also think you shouldn't think of having a child as an alternative to a job. Financially, you may not have that option; many people don't. Or you may find being at home with a small baby awful. Do you want a baby enough to have one in your current job? Or to consider a career change or going part-time in order to make it easier?

It doesn't matter if people think 25 is too young or not as the simple truth is that her oh has said he is not ready. Therefore this whole thread is meaningless as the last i heard it took 2 to make a baby.