Tit for tat finances

[thehorsedentist]

When I first became pregnant myself and my partner tried to discuss finances but he refused to have a joint account and I was expected to pay exactly 50% of household and baby expenses whilst on maternity leave. It was a struggle for me and I had to resort to my credit card for bills most months and had to wear shoes with holes in because I had no funds left after essentials.

Now my partner has just been made redundant and will have to rely on JSA until a new job can be found. I have been forced back at work 24 hours a week, after being signed off with stress for 6 weeks.

AIBU to not support him at all financially and ask him to move into his mothers house so I have less expenses to outlay?

OP you have normalised his behaviour so much that you see that him deigning to buying nappies on alternative weekends as the sign of being a wonderful parent - he is the child's father, the mother has no income, he should be buying ALL the nappies....

So he thinks you are just like his mother (a woman he seemingly couldn't stand); he sounds utterly delightful.

He is not naive but very cunning.

if he believes you are money grabbing like his mother he's not seeing you.

HE'S NOT SEEING YOU!!

He's not seeing you as a person, you as the mother of his child, you as his partner, you as a woman. He just sees his "money grabbing mother". This is deeply entrenched. You are experiencing misogyny in action.

Run like the wind.

What TheBigJessie and BeCool said, times 1,000000000000000000.

OP hasn't come back. I hope she's okay. We've given her a rather different perspective. I hope she can absorb it.

Must pretty difficult to take in such a sea-change.