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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that DF should not be upset by this.

62 replies

Rhobarb · 14/10/2013 18:49

So I'm supposed to be driving up to London to meet up with an old friend over the weekend - coming back home Monday morning (about a 4 hour drive), I offered a friend a lift as she wanted to go to an exhibition in London. She was delighted and went ahead and paid for her entrance ticket and a cheap hotel room. Now the old friend would rather meet me the following weekend so I have told the friend I was giving the lift to that I can no longer help her out. She is a bit off with me - she's out of pocket for the ticket (non refundable and exhib is ending this weekend) & hotel as public transport is not possible and she has no car. Tbh I think I am perfectly entitled to suit myself - she is often strapped for cash and I try to help out when I can as I am comfortably off but I was doing her a favour in the first place so she should not be off with me. AIBU?

OP posts:

WaitMonkey · 14/10/2013 23:38

YABU/reverse.

quoteunquote · 15/10/2013 00:25

Could you buy a ticket for the exhibition and go and make a weekend of it, with your friend,

You have let your friend down quite badly.

but I hope this is a reverse.

KeatsiePie · 15/10/2013 00:26

sadeyes that made me laugh out loud!

OP, YABU, or your friend is, if reverse.

Can I ask, why does everyone hate reverses so much? I think they are entertaining. Unless the OP does not come back.

PumpkinGuts · 15/10/2013 01:40

If the op makes a 4 hour trip to drop friend off, then drives home......then pops back on the Monday to do it all again... We'll its a bit much isn't it?

Would any one you really let someone do that for you?

RevelsRoulette · 15/10/2013 07:28

Doesnt matter whether any of us would cos we arent either of the parties and whoever actually offered(be it op or a reverse) did offer. It was accepted and money was spent based on what was a lovely kind offer.
if someone didnt want to do such a huge favour, they shouldnt offer it. They shouldnt sit back while the other person spends money on the back of it and they shouldnt then turn round and say nah, I dont want to now.

I wouldnt accept such an offer, but nor would I rescind it if I made it. I would have known at the time of offering what it was I was commiting to and if it was too much, I should have kept my gob shut.

digerd · 15/10/2013 11:08

If that happened to me and somebody was doing me a favour by giving me a lift, I would have to accept it. But they would probably opologise.
I would feel upset though.

friday16 · 15/10/2013 11:15

We still don't seem to have been told why public transport is so difficult.

PumpkinGuts · 15/10/2013 13:36

I'd think it was very kind my friend had offered..but just obviously assume that it was contingent on my friend going to this place. And I would know any money I spent out I was taking on a personal risk that I could lose. This sort of thing is why people don't offer to help. The OP knew this person wanted to go to london very kindly offered that she would be going there.. It would have been shitty if she hadnt offered. Also the OP didnt just change her mind. The reason for her goin is no longer there.

I think it's quite spoiled and entitled to expect someone to do that for you just because...

Maybe this is a reverse AIBU because why can't someone take public transport?

kali110 · 15/10/2013 14:15

Op offered aNd knew her friend was getting tockets because she had a lift. I would be beyond pissed

RevelsRoulette · 15/10/2013 14:28

See, I would just do it. If I knew a cash strapped friend was looking forward to such a treat and had spent money they couldn't afford to lose based on truly believing and expecting that transport was arranged.

I realise the OP isn't in control of her other friend saying a different weekend is better for her, but my reply would have been would it be too awkward to stick to this weekend because I am also doing another friend a favour and I'd really like to not let them down.

If the other friend said no, can't at all, then seeing as I (as the OP) am 'comfortably off', I'd just stay down there anyway and see it as an unexpected weekend away with this pal.

I wouldn't 'take away' (so to speak) a cash strapped friend's huge treat if I didn't have to. I'd book myself into the hotel too and have a great weekend.

FreeWee · 15/10/2013 14:42

Yep. YABU. I'd have gone to London with exhibition friend instead and shared her cheap hotel room. If I didn't want to go to the exhibition I'd do something else. It is London after all. Crikey. I wouldn't screw over exhibition friend and be annoyed she was upset I'd done so.

zeeboo · 15/10/2013 17:47

Oh look, no sign of the OP

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