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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DF should not be upset by this.

62 replies

Rhobarb · 14/10/2013 18:49

So I'm supposed to be driving up to London to meet up with an old friend over the weekend - coming back home Monday morning (about a 4 hour drive), I offered a friend a lift as she wanted to go to an exhibition in London. She was delighted and went ahead and paid for her entrance ticket and a cheap hotel room. Now the old friend would rather meet me the following weekend so I have told the friend I was giving the lift to that I can no longer help her out. She is a bit off with me - she's out of pocket for the ticket (non refundable and exhib is ending this weekend) & hotel as public transport is not possible and she has no car. Tbh I think I am perfectly entitled to suit myself - she is often strapped for cash and I try to help out when I can as I am comfortably off but I was doing her a favour in the first place so she should not be off with me. AIBU?

OP posts:
helenthemadex · 14/10/2013 19:10

if this is genuine then yabvu and are not a friend at all

heartisaspade · 14/10/2013 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friday16 · 14/10/2013 19:13

Out of interest, from where in the country is public transport to London "not possible", given (as presumably it would be in this case) a helpful friend to give you a lift to the station.

And for that matter, who on earth drives 4 hours to London and 4 hours back at the weekend rather than using a perfectly serviceable train?

maddy68 · 14/10/2013 19:14

Tbh it's not your fault that your friend has changed plans but I would offer to take her to the train station so she can still go

ThankGodItsTuesday · 14/10/2013 19:15

Reverse aibu are so bloody annoying, why don't you just ask what you want to ask.
It's not clever.

FlapJackOLantern · 14/10/2013 19:16

You are obligated to help her out OP - YABU and I suspect you know it. I hope you feel really guilty and I don't blame her for being 'off' with you.

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/10/2013 19:17

Why do a reverse if this is indeed what this is?

If not - woah OP you're a shit friend.

CinnabarRed · 14/10/2013 19:18

Reverse or not, I wouldn't do an 8 hour round trip over 2 days solely as a lift for someone (assuming driving 4 hours, staying in London on Sunday night, driving home on Monday).

I would offer her a lift to somewhere with public transport links into London and offer a contribution to her train or coach ticket.

HeadfirstForHalos · 14/10/2013 19:18

YABVU.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 14/10/2013 19:20

And the award for most blatant reverse ever goes to.... drumroll.... Rhobarb

Pagwatch · 14/10/2013 19:21

I wish mnhq would just delete reverse aibu. They really are shit.

JaneEyresHeir · 14/10/2013 19:21

JRmumma - here's the Reverse AIBU explanation

BeaverAbroad · 14/10/2013 19:23

Reverse.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 14/10/2013 19:35

We're never going to know, are we? If it is real, everyone's told them they're a wanker. If it's a reverse, everyone's told them they're a dickhead Grin

Faithless12 · 14/10/2013 19:41

YABU

HopeS01 · 14/10/2013 20:41

Yabu

RevelsRoulette · 14/10/2013 20:45

Grin sadeyed

yes, it is unreasonable to make an offer, know that someone has made arrangements and spent money based on your kind offer and then turn round and say nah, cant be arsed after all, ive had a better offer.
it is selfish.

did you do it or was it done to you?

Debs75 · 14/10/2013 20:48

If this isn't a reverse AIBU then you are not just being unreasonable but also a serious twatty friend.

YOu offered her the chance to do something you knew she really wanted to do. She spends money to do it then you say 'no don't want to now. Sorry' Why don't you say to other friend I have made plans as has another friend and we can't back out as we will lose money.

TBH you are only perfectly entitled to suit yourself when you haven't put others out in the first place

PumpkinGuts · 14/10/2013 21:02

oooh going to say I actually think yaNbu!

She is in a shit situation...but you can't totally rely on someone else like that. I only just started driving and in her situation as I have been many times pre-driving would see it as a bonus but certainly not expect you to drive me if you couldn't. I would be obviously be disappointed though just not in you

PumpkinGuts · 14/10/2013 21:04

I would never expect someone to do a 4 hour drive, just on my account.

Op have you thought about going to exhibit yourself with friend and have a weekend with her?

kali110 · 14/10/2013 21:07

Wouldnt want you as a friend

absentmindeddooooodles · 14/10/2013 21:08

Yabu

You told her you could give her a lift.

She booked tickets because of this.

You tell her you are not going.

She looses money because of this.

Id be gutted and yes a little off with you. Fair enough your friend cancelled but honestly id be rather pissed off. Especially if I was skint.

Tbh this seems like a reverse anyway.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 14/10/2013 21:12

If this is real, then YABU and a bad friend, if this is a reverse, then you are still BU for doing a reverse!

FetchezLaVache · 14/10/2013 21:17

Aaaand the OP's cleared off.

You could have just done "AIBU to be pissed off with my friend", you know...

candycoatedwaterdrops · 14/10/2013 21:30

Nah, she wouldn't have got as many replies. Wink

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