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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
34DD · 13/10/2013 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 13/10/2013 22:20

34DD, we had a friend who went to the local college and asked if any of the students would like to do their photos for a meal and free drinks (I think they put a limit on the amount!) and they were overwhelmed with offers. The photos took a wee bit longer as they agreed to do some arty shots that they wouldnt have otherwise had done in order that the student could show certain techniques. Worked out well though as one of the arty photos was their favourite and they have it on their wall!

Wish we had thought of that!

Bogeyface · 13/10/2013 22:22

and the arcade machine well bling it up and let the kids play on it keep them amused

They are in so many pubs now I doubt anyone would notice it, but I also doubt that kids would be allowed to play on it, afaik they are over 18's only. At best you could ask for it to be turned off.

34DD · 13/10/2013 22:35

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Bogeyface · 13/10/2013 22:40

34DD makes a good point.

Wedding specific places are far more expensive. When you are looking to hire or book services say that it is for a large family party, although some suppliers are onto that now and will ask if it is a wedding. Then you have to lie! I think it is disgusting that they put a premium on wedding services.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 13/10/2013 22:52

Op - I was in Ikea the other day and they had a fab selection of tissue fold out hearts etc to hang from the ceiling - grey, white, pink and green. Co-ordinating tissue paper and gift bags etc.

Buy your teelights in bulk bags from there and place them on mirrors or metal charger plates you can beg scrounge or borrow?

Some shops actually hire/loan out candle holders if you buy the candles there. You can use a patterned hole punch and cut out tissue table confetti etc.

I went to a community centre wedding and they had sit down at 5pm, then at 9pm they brought out a huge urn of tea and cheese and jam scones etc. it gave everyone a second wind for the evening (and was delicious). You could bulk bake a load of scones and sponges to cut into fingers and freeze in advance?

34DD · 13/10/2013 22:54

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34DD · 13/10/2013 22:57

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bountyicecream · 13/10/2013 22:58

Not read whole thread but I can remember very few reception venues.

But can remember some absolutely fantastic weddings down to the people, company, dancing, copious amounts of wine ....

Have a great day

sausageandorangepickle · 13/10/2013 22:59

My BIL's wedding was cheap and cheerful, they asked all the guests to provide some favourite songs and made a playlist on the i-pod that was set to random all night (no dj ) and the food was a massive vat of curry and naan bread delivered in buckets from the local takeaway. They also asked people to bring their favourite cocktail ingredients, and people took turns being the barman, but that may not be possible in licensed premises (theirs was at home)

Bogeyface · 13/10/2013 23:02

Another thought, post on Freegle.

I responded to a post a few months back and gave away the table numbers I didnt use (that had been gifted to me via a wedding website, so try them too), 10 square glass vases from Ikea that I used to put LED lights in and some wedding music CDs (again, free from the wedding website). They were lovely and sent me a photo of their wedding!

Lilacroses · 13/10/2013 23:15

This is a brilliant thread!! Makes me want to get married all over again! We had a very DIY wedding OP and the reception was in a village hall. Friends decorated it for me on the day with bits we'd sorted, helium balloons, gerbras in pots etc. It looked fantastic. We had an amazing buffet that people still talk about now. I loved every minute of it. The suggestions and offers on this thread are absolutely wonderful. Hope you have a lovely day.

TheInquisitor · 13/10/2013 23:20

Not read all the pages, but seriously, you're worrying over nothing.
It sounds like a cliche, but at the end of the day, people aren't going to care less over fancy schmancy decorations or what colour schemes you have, they're only going to care about spending your special day with you!
I've been to a lot of weddings, and the ones that I remember most as being the most brilliant were the ones that had cheap drink Grin, plentiful food (buffets are lovely!) and good company.
The low key ones and not the 'trying too hard' ones are ones that are the best!

TheInquisitor · 13/10/2013 23:21

Sorry, forgot to say - Pinterest is definitely a great idea, you'll find loads of ideas on there!

ancientbuchanan · 13/10/2013 23:23

Use the arcade machine as a stand for flowers. Throw a white sheet over it and there you go.

ancientbuchanan · 13/10/2013 23:25

Ps, I hate formal sit down efforts. Make your brides maids and ushers introduce people and they will have a much better time.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 23:36

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee I think my dsis has a costco card.. will go and have a browse

To everyone that's linked, have bookmarked them to look at with dp.

So many good idea's on here, I'm going to sit down tomorrow with a notepad and cup of coffee or glass of wine and note them all down.

Lovely- thank you MN

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 14/10/2013 02:44
Wine
Want2bSupermum · 14/10/2013 02:59

I put DH's birthday party together in a bar in Hoboken, NJ. It was vile but cheap. I turned the lights down so you could see who you were talking to but not much else. It was a genius idea as I spent nothing on decorations.

Lavenderhoney · 14/10/2013 04:06

IfIdontknow, yes that was one of the more Shock reasons!

She checked it out on the Internet and called me to tell me how it wasnt what she expected, what with her normally holidaying in 5* hotels and all.

She didnt come. No matter, a jolly good time was had by all.

  • photos, a friend did ours for free, and were invited anyway. She put them on a cd, and we just had printed via photobox what we liked. I like the idea of asking a tutor if any students are any good and would do a free day to get it on their portfolio. You will have to be ok they use your shots for their marketing.
  • a relative also filmed the evening, which we didnt realise- and secretly got friends and relatives to give us hints and tips. Very amusing to watch:)
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 08:34

Lavenderhoney seriously? Shock indeed. What did the rest of your family say? DH? I think its very sad for you Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 08:35

What fabulous friends you have too- that's a lovely idea, nice keep sake of your day

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 14/10/2013 08:39

Bogeyface Just seen your photo's.. lovely :) Very impressive.. I'm not that crafty though.. mine would end up looking like a threw on a giant net curtain

OP posts:
sarahtigh · 14/10/2013 08:47

ring up a dressmaker do not mention wedding but ask price for party dress in simple style, I believe ben de lisi does dresses for debenhams at about 100-150, if bridesmaids are little girls party dresses can be got for less than £20 at many shops

no one will really notice venue if having fun, it will be light until 9-10pm anyway after that tealights in painted glass jam jars I would not buy acres of fabric

a few flowers, if you have a garden could plant some even for table decorations,

we got married on £2000 though we had morning ceremony at church then to nice restaurant for lunch, made my own cake, sister took photos did our own hair and make-up , dressmaker made my dress ( and it was cheaper than practically every shop too) as I wanted sleeves and dresses with sleeves do not exist in shops and that included a weeks honeymoon self catering in Provence