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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 05/11/2013 21:37

Posted too soon.

Even with the big butcher packs I don't think you'll get under £7 pp - the meat is incidental in cost compared to what makes a barbecue worth eating, namely side salads, bread, coleslaw, sauces, corn on the cob, etc. And that's before you get into the logistics of cooking a hundred burgers/sausages in under four or five hours. The fuel alone approaches a quid or so per person. And there's yet more cutlery/crockery and associated washing-up Confused

There will be a solution. Mumsnet will find it!

I'd suggest you either cut down the afternoon feed or the evening feed. People don't need a big nosh twice at a wedding, they just don't.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 21:51

Yes, fish & chips £7pp.

You are right about all the extras. It would make it more. The van is much easier. The afternoon tea, I'm not sure if it was going to be donations as a few posters said its too complicated. Yy to cake donations though. Soyeah, just savories I need I guess.

Oh I don't know! Confused I think I'm just panicking again Hmm

Re Iceland, not sure how that would work? Some one up thread said they had curly fries & scampi, I'm sure.

goes off to double check

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 21:53

'Soyeah'.. Hmm Apologies for this. Hmm Of course, I meant So yes

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HorryIsUpduffed · 05/11/2013 21:57

I was thinking of this kind of thing as well as maybe curly fries, mini puddings, sausage rolls even.

I know some people think it's dreadfully naff, but if your guests have had a pretty afternoon tea, then when they're getting pissed they will be happy to eat beige to soak up the Wine Grin

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 22:04

Bacon butties, not scampi. PP had bacon butties & curly fries. Smile

Horry I know what you mean, those packs feed loads I've heard know this as DP & I have bought a pack to scoff when no ones lookingBlush

Some people do think its naff though, you're right. It's a tricky one. Off to work out the prices

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 22:05

Dammit! Crossed out the wrong part of the post! Blush

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 22:11

Unsure on what to do. What would other you drop? Evening Chippy or Afternoon tea? Or neither?

Picnic baskets perhaps? Maybe a lot of work though?

Not sure I want a buffet though.

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 22:33

Just buffets tend to end up v. messy after the first few people have been at them.

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lifeistooshort · 05/11/2013 22:38

Hi OP

Congrats on the wedding, have not read the whole thread yet and some of the ideas below might already have been mentioned but you could look at:

Buying some cheap felt and sisal string and make some cheap and cheerful bunting/placemats etc (if you have a local fabricland, bob's your uncle).

For decorations for the room, find some nice looking dried branches. Plop in a terracotta pot, spray inside pot with foam spray, paint branches, add fairly light: stunning.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 05/11/2013 22:53

lifeistooshort Thank you! Yy to fairy lights.. Could imagine them in the evening. Would look lovely. You said you havn't read all the thread yet- if you look on my progile, I have put pics up of the venue. Since my OP they have painted the walls whits, and replaced the carpet in the main room Smile

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lifeistooshort · 05/11/2013 23:07

Also glow sticks in balloons a bit like this can be nice and cheap to add ambiance and soft lighting?

www.pinterest.com/pin/202028733257770751/

HorryIsUpduffed · 06/11/2013 07:08

I'd still feed twice, it's just the scale. Can't find details on thread but I had an idea you were having a late-ish wedding, in which case people will have had lunch (probably at home, since mostly local) so don't need two meals, just one and a snack. A big dainty high tea (cake, sandwiches, etc) would then mean they only need a little something at say 9pm to soak up the alcohol in which case bacon butties and curly fries will make most people happy.

Charlesroi · 06/11/2013 07:09

Hmm, it is a tricky one. How much do you think you'll have to spend on food and drink now?
I'm torn becaise I do like the afternoon tea at the church idea I think the BBQ would be too difficult to do without hiring people to cook and serve, so we really need somethig you can prepare in advance. Have you got access to kitchens/fridges at the Legion? The picnic idea might work if you do.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 06/11/2013 07:36

Yes the wedding is late-ish, need to organize a time really. Ok, I will keep the tea part, it is lovely.

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 06/11/2013 09:12

I meant that I have the day booked at church, so Saturday afternoon, but not a specific time. Have access from 4pm for the legion.

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TheNaughtySausage · 06/11/2013 09:23

I think a lateish ceremony would work in your favour because then you only have to feed people once. We did this, got married at 3pm, photos and champagne and mingling, then over to the village hall for a sit down meal, followed by dancing and fun. Plus it gives you time to do last minute things to the venue, or have a lie in Grin

Charlesroi · 06/11/2013 09:34

Is it worth asking fish and chip man if he can do smaller portions for £4 a head? If people have had lunch and tea they won't want a huge meal (and if they do they can upgrade and pay the difference themselves)

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 06/11/2013 10:43

Yy to asking for cheaper chips/ smaller potions. Will enquire.

So get married at 3pm? Tea at 4pm? Then chips at ??

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Charlesroi · 06/11/2013 11:12

Yep, married at 3pm, tea at 4pm.
Chip van at 7. Everyone fed by 8. You could always buy a couple of boxes of crisps/ nuts for later (but I suppose they sell them behind the bar anyway)

PrimalLass · 06/11/2013 11:15

Can I say a quick plea to check with parents if you are thinking about lots of balloons. Balloon phobia is pretty common in kids and we'd have to take my DS home if faced with a room full. SadThe glowsticks in balloons look lovely though.

I would get big Costco cakes, some wee sandwiches and bowls of crisps,and then do f&c about 6.30. Or ask people to bring baking.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 06/11/2013 11:26

Sounds like a plan. That would be 3 hours though, between serving tea & the chip van.

Is that too short?

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Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 06/11/2013 11:32

Also they have lots of savory 'cakes'

www.costco.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/cos_6,cos_6.4,cos_6.4.3/141249

www.costco.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/cos_6,cos_6.4,cos_6.4.4/141227

OP posts:
Charlesroi · 06/11/2013 12:00

*Sounds like a plan. That would be 3 hours though, between serving tea & the chip van.

Is that too short?*

It'll take a whie to get everybody served though. If there will be a speech and cake cutting you're looking at 8:30 before the dancing starts, Unless you have the drinks, speeches and cake first, then have the chip van for 8:30 (that might be a bit late for children?)

oscarwilde · 06/11/2013 12:42

You could do something called "bowl food" in the catering trade for the evening and scratch the chip van entirely. £7 pp will easily cover a bowl of chicken curry/thai curry/beef stroganoff/risotto/sausage and mash.
The idea is that you provide something between a canape and a main meal. The actual size of the portion is up to you but something like sausage and mash could a) be homemade b) prepared in advance and kept warm in the evening. It's pretty straightforward to cook large quantities of sausages in an oven.