To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

Friends who had lived together for some time asked people to bring/pay for food, booze etc Could you ask for some to donate/pay/buy decorations etc. eg the the cloth for going around the room. Once saw a couple do table decorations using loads of cheap sweets and flower oasis that looked amazing.

Ooh this is a lovely thread and I have so enjoyed reading it...I want to do my own wedding again now.

I had an all singing all dancing wedding, (I wasn't paying & wasn't really choosing) and to be honest the nicest bit of it all was the rehersal with the vicar with just a few of us in Jeans the day before and none of the bling...with the best intentions from my family, the whole thing just ran away from us and got so big it lost its meaning really....yes I did have sparkling white chairs with bows to match the colour theme but just before I left for the church I was having to moderate an argument between the main caterer and the woman doing bits of crudities who had both nabbed a particular fridge in my bloody wedding dress. The house had to have three phase put in to cope. The marquee man refused to co-operate with the carpet fitter, the florist tripled the bill 5 days before the wedding with no explanation and just refused to turn up if we didn't pay......to be honest it makes me feel a little bit sick now to think of it all. It was NOT about me and DH in the end, it was about a big show and that makes me sad.

On the other hand I decorated the worlds most ugly church hall for my friends christening last year, and the morning of the event, the four of us in there making it pretty is one of the nicest times of my life, it was very special. The little girl being Christened has a name that means 'butterfly' and we cut out hundreds and hundreds of little butterflys from a template we got free online onto 100 pieces of pink paper we got in one pack for 99p and hung them from the ceiling at varying heights on thin cotton with blue tac (also 99p each). We got loads of long twigs from the woods, sprayed them silver (guess how much we paid for the silver spray!) and put them in lots of big borrowed glass vases with the butterflies all over the branches.....and a LOT of tealights, mostly in baked bean cans we had scrubbed out and punched holes in to make hearts with a skewer....it looked so beautiful I can't begin to describe it. The mum and grandma's were all in tears when they saw it...and it had cost in total about £30 to decorate, and because we mucked in and it was done with love the whole thing was a joy.

Armadale The can idea sound gorgeous.. It all does! I'm sorry you're wedding didn't turn into what you wanted.
I have kind of the opposite problem, with people judging, yet not suggesting any thing different. Basically they are just bitching about it. I have had nothing positive from my immediate family at all. In fact, someone very close to me won't even discuss it full stop.
So it has been very emotional for me, in a sad way.
However, I have had a few people (who I thought would never do this) step forward & come up trumps. Have been amazing. And on here too.
So whilst I am upset about the lack of interest & critical remarks from my nearest & dearest I have also been pleasantly surprised.

Arm, that christening sounds beautiful. So special.
Op who said you'd be judged on the chairs ? What an idiot.

Yes the christening does sound lovely. the whole thing just sounds gorgeous! Am going to pinch the can idea.

Waitmonkey A very close friend of mine told me to hire some nice ones in. Or hide them in a room away from people. Or invest in chair covers. Just anything other then have the chairs for people to see.

Damn! Always post too soon.

Anyway, failing in being able to do any of the above, apparently tell people it's bring a chair

Anyhow, doesn't matter. I couldn't imagine my wedding any other way now. Yes, the budget is tiny & very restricting. That's okay though, because I'm now able to see how best to work with what we've got. And all of the suggestions on here are fab. Would never of thought of it really.

Oh FFS. Who looks at a chair once they're sitting on it?

Chair covers are vulgar and pointless and IMHO just draw attention to the idea that the chairs underneath might be substandard.

I think so too. Just I don't understand why this was said.
My friend, along with 2 family members are the 3 who I thought would be the most involved in this whole thing. However, not only are they uninterested, anything that's said about the wedding is said in a negative light. Its horrible and I'm really surprised at them.

Ugh. I'm derailing the thread into moan here. Sorry.
Anyway its all fine.

I'm beginning to think it isn't so much the chairs that are the problem as the friend and the two family members..perhaps if you were at the Ritz they'd find something to moan about..?..they don't sound very nice.

I'm rubbish at things like this, but maybe you could start a post in relationships about how to deal with them, as there are people on there who are really good....it sounds like you need to learn how to cope with them in a way that means they don't get to you.

And a word to the wise, DON'T punch holes in baked bean cans whilst holding them with your other hand, put them down on a cork board or chopping board first Bitter experience speaking there

It's your thread - you take it wherever it needs to go!

And a word to the wise, DON'T punch holes in baked bean cans whilst holding them with your other hand, put them down on a cork board or chopping board first Bitter experience speaking there
will remember this. for you

Maybe you're right. I am finding them very hard to take.

Horry for you too

Anyway, I'll get back to the subject.

So been thinking about rings. Obviously these are forever as opposed to one day. Any tips for bargains?

I meant everything else lasts for the wedding day. The rings last a lot longer so want good quality. Just unsure on how to do this on my budget.

Well my ring is a 2mm 9ct white gold band. The price of gold is high just now so the weight of the gold makes a lot of difference.

I chose that style because that's what I wanted; the price was a pleasant surprise. DH's is titanium (he is really not a jewellery wearer and didn't want anything too shiny or decorative) so our rings were under £100 in total although that was 2004. High street (something like H Samuel - I can't honestly remember).

By contrast, friends getting married the same year spent something like £2k on their matching bespoke platinum rings. I'm sure they're very nice...

Some antiques dealers will have vintage rings, or if you ask around the family there might be a ring in your mum's drawer from her Auntie Edna. I didn't use a particular family ring - mine is effectively a replica though - because the marriage in question ended in divorce and I'm superstitious but your or DP's family might have something nice.

I do love white gold. My engagement ring is white gold from H.Samuel .

I'm not sure about the family rings.. will ask my nan or DP's family is they no of any thing.

Know what you mean about the superstition around rings etc though.

I got my wedding ring from the jewellery channel website - they have a clearance section.

here

Obviously not the £2k section! I got a big black diamond in a platinum setting for £97. DH's ring was titanium with a tiny diamnd chip (barely visible but it's the idea of it!) from ebay, and was about £30 iirc

Thanks for the link.. I really like the tanzanite rings on there.

I have lost two wedding rings, so focus on the wedding, not the ring!

What did I want to do ? Well, at the beginning have the nice big party with my lovely family, to whom I am close, and my lovely friends. And not faff about in hen or stag crap.

By the time I had been through wedding present hell, was prepared either to elope or to follow my DM's suggestion when she saw how stressed I was, " Darling, you don't have to do this, you know. You could just go and get married, the two of you, I don't have to be there, and then I can throw a party for you later."

My lovely, lovely, understanding DM.

We did the white thing, church with village choir, with marquee etc. No sit down effort as I don't like them and hate seating plans, but lots of cups of tea ( a northern wedding in the afternoon) and bottles of fizz and sandwiches and cake and lots of seats for elderlies to sit down on and my pages (our nephews) who wore breeches and waistcoats got given eyepatches and swords in the speeches as thanks, that turned them into pirates. Happy small boys, happy relatives and friends and yes it was a lovely day. I come from a lovely family ( some rotters but not many) and a lovely village and both were there in full.

But the Forsytes tried to disapprove all the way along, or I thought they did. Actually, I may just have misinterpreted.

So I have declared war on Forsyte behaviours ever since.

Tanzanite is a soft stone and is heated to give its colour. I prefer naturally coloured and harder stones.

I have tanzanite jewellery but I think it is better suited to necklaces.

Whilst there are undoubtedly bargains to be had at The Jewellery Channel they sell a lot of artificially treated stones. Gemstones, including diamonds can be, heated, irradiated, coated, artificially coloured and 'repaired' by having any flaws or fissures filled with glass like resins.

Unless the stones are marked as 'natural' you should assume that gemstones sold by The Jewellery Channel may be treated. There is nothing inherently wrong with this and LOTS of gemstones are artificially treated but it's something to be aware of.

...sorry for derail, back to the wedding planning

Well, at the beginning have the nice big party with my lovely family, to whom I am close, and my lovely friends.

That is exactly what we want. And now we are going to do that. Because of this.

anchient Your mum sounds absolutely wonderful.

IHaveA Thank you for letting me know this. I think I'll have a look around first

These ideas sound fab and I'm sure you're going to have a lovely day.

We had home grown sweet peas in charity shop vases at our wedding - cheap but looked really pretty and jam jars with ribbon would do just as well. A friend bought lilies from M&S for her bouquet - looked great and much cheaper than the £50 the florist wanted to charge...

It's a bit random but should you want linen napkins I have 70 or so from my own wedding you're welcome to borrow? got them from ikea as cheaper than hiring them, they get used by friends and family for parties, christening etc...