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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my wedding venue?

996 replies

IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 13/10/2013 16:16

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

OP posts:
Herisson · 16/10/2013 17:15

Somebody I know of sent all their guests a triangle of fabric and asked them to embroider/draw something personal onto it. They made them up into bunting to decorate the venue. It was a really really lovely idea and the fabric wasn't v expensive, I don't think.

Glendaanddennisarentinvited · 16/10/2013 17:26

Were paying £463 for a registrar (+ additional cost for room hire). So it wouldn't save much doing it out of a church.

lagoonhaze · 16/10/2013 17:31

Chapel is approx 220.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 17:35

Yes it has taken 1/4 of budget. In reality more as would be quite a sad, eery service without the organist and/ or choir, so feel like we need to. Don't walk to be walking up the aisle in silence :/

So the choir is £80 & Organist is £120(ish?) from memory.. Or vice versa..

OP posts:
IHaveA · 16/10/2013 17:35

I have never regretted not having professional photos. Our photos are mostly happy snaps but there are a few gorgeous ones. This was pre-digital too.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 17:35

lagoonhaze Everywhere?

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IHaveA · 16/10/2013 17:38

Gosh, the organist is expensive Sad

Maybe there is an alternative?

Could you just have a choir and piped music. A choir is lovely.

Longtallsally · 16/10/2013 17:39

I really regretted having a photographer. Didn't want one, was persuaded, and then spent ages standing around being photographed, when we could have been spending time with friends. Best thing we did was to give a single friend the brief to take as many photos of people as she could throughout the day - she did a brilliant job and we had some great informal shots. She enjoyed it too, as she had a focus for the day.

On the other hand, we didn't want a video either but ended up loving that!

canyou · 16/10/2013 17:44

For music in the church do you know any music teacher or music school who has pupils who would play? My DSD gets loads of gigs this way, she is a harpist unfortunately not near you, she gets €50 for playing church and drinks reception.

ProfondoRosso · 16/10/2013 17:48

One thing you could do is look outside the scope of 'wedding' photographers.

The guy who did ours is a professional who has worked for the Face and ID. DH knew him because he's photographed DH's band a few times. He normally charges £300 for a day's work, and that's what he charged us for the wedding, and the photos are great - not cheesy, no striding across the grass or looking meaningfully into each other's eyes! Because he was used to reportage, and being in a million places at once, capturing vital moments that you might miss otherwise, he was brilliant - really captured the feel of the day.

So, if you or DP know anyone who is a photographer, or know someone that knows someone, speak to them. And you'll get a lot of highly skilled students at art schools who have never shot a wedding before, but who know a lot about lighting, composition, capturing the important moments of an event and the little, quiet moments too.

ProfondoRosso · 16/10/2013 17:49

And an acapella choir is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. Smile

3rdnparty · 16/10/2013 17:52

dresses/suits again Jan sales are probably your friend ...my dress was a 'cocktail' dress from a department store own evening wear dept so less than £100 - but i had no fixed idea what i wanted (except not trad gown) so was easier to be flexible - but my mum made me go to a bridal dept think it was berkatex (sp) and try on a few which was really useful for working out what shape /style/colour etc worked ....esp as I usually live in jeansGrin it was also funny seeing the lady in the dept nearly pass out when I told her was getting married in 6 weeks not 6 months....so you have plenty of time to buy but would start to think about shapes/colours etc..

dh got also got a suit in a dept store sale think it was Jaeger so hung really well for about £100 - M&S also do some nice suits in their Autograph range which often have offers/discounts or are in the sale- hiring can be effective if you want tails etc but not sure that'll work on the cricket pitch!

re afternoon tea if you or someone in the family can bake a lot of tea tray bakes can be made in advance and either keep (gingerbread) or freeze-sponges/drizzle cakes, for kids stuff like gingerbread men & ladies (for a wedding) - the dough can be made well in advance and frozen and just iced white or left plain or smarties for eyes/buttons etc-

flowers -I just bought big bunches of what was in season in the colours I wanted from a local florist- did talk to them in advance so they got extra in and plonked(was supposed to be arranged but ran out of time - only i noticed!) in large vase as centre or you could place in front of the fruit machine -July should be lots of choice of seasonal a friend did similar and had loads of sunflowers - really eyecatching on plain white tables in gloomy hall

HorryIsUpduffed · 16/10/2013 18:25

Bloody hell Sad

It helped me that the organist was a friend (we paid for his b&b nearby but otherwise didn't pay him) and our soloist was also a friend doing a favour.

In all honesty knowing a person is always the cheapest way. I've sung a friend's wedding for nothing very gladly before and would do so again. Hell, I'd gladly do yours if you weren't so far away.

HelloDoris · 16/10/2013 18:32

Oooh meant to say if you're near Ashford, get yourself down to the designer outlet centre jut after Christmas, suits in the sale will be dirt cheap!

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 18:33

Horry Wine

I will look for seasonal flowers, don't think we could afford florist though. As much as I like flowers, I think they are going to have to be bottom of list atm.

Perhaps I will ring local newspaper and ask about photographer.

OP posts:
Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 18:34

HelloDoris am very near that outlet Grin

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HorryIsUpduffed · 16/10/2013 18:46

Actually, did you say Surrey? Will discreetly ask around and see if any of my multiple singing friends fancies singing a register in exchange for a cup of tea and some homemade cake Grin

HelloDoris · 16/10/2013 18:49

Oooh I'm about 30mins away in Canterbury! :D

Will carry on thinking, if I can think of anything else ill shout.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 19:02

Horry Yes, wedding is in Surrey. Thanks

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 16/10/2013 19:04

What do you still have to factor into your budget IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow? I'm kind of losing track of where the MN wedding planners have got to Smile

mummytime · 16/10/2013 19:04

£120 my DH doesn't charge that much and we're in Surrey.

Do you have any singing friends?

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 19:10

SirChejin Posted this up thread ;
^Entire budget is £1500-£2000 (and that's stretching ourselves) Maximum. So once catering and ceremony have been spent then I have £700 left.
This is for outfits, cars, rings, flowers, decorations, Entertainment, Photos and I do want to look nice too (ie hair and make up)^

mummytime No singing friends unfortunately

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ancientbuchanan · 16/10/2013 19:21

Bromley college is bound to have photography students, and also ask all of your friends to take pics and send them to you. Our lovely day is really memorable because of everyone's snaps. One friend put instant cameras on each table so that they would have a variety. In fact, if you did that and had a friend who could take lovely pics of you as their wedding present to you, you'd save a fortune.

Urns and t pots, the British legion is bound to have them. If not see if you can borrow from the guides or church in westerham.

On the choir, really don't you have singing friends? If you put a call out to MN some if us could run a choir for you? Again, it could be part of their wedding present to you. People love getting involved.

Flowers, easy easy. Get plastic shot glasses from the pound shop or if nec waitrose, max cost 10 quid. Buy those carnations that have lots of heads per spray. Put one or two into each shot glass and fill out with ivy or evergreen you have nicked from somewhere. . Wee but effective. Get yourself something to carry, and buy carnations as button holes, you don't need them made up. Get a vase of nice flowers for the bar and to go on top of the arcade machines that you have covered up. Don't worry about the church.

lagoonhaze · 16/10/2013 19:24

Yes chapel much cheaper overall. Do some ringing around and Google Methodist chapels.

Original poster
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 16/10/2013 19:26

ancientbuchanan No I really don't know anyone musically talented in any way.. Really feel I should do Grin

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