to think this is very disruptive??

[macdoodle]

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school ).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit , it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

I taught a class like this last year. The ASD kid had a support teacher in with him. If he got too bad, she took him out of class. However, mostly the rest of the class, ignored/ worked round/ helped him. His behaviour was never an issue, we all just learnt to live with it

Those threads are totally wrong. But nobody on here is saying that

Well, it could be suggested that this is where the intolerance can start.

Some people just don't want their lives inconvenienced in any way by people with disabilities.

Oh so the OP is a shit doctor, and her daughter is a nasty gossip now? Nice.

It's a normal thing to do, to chat away to your mum about school. And you talk about things that were exciting, upsetting or unusual in preference to boring every day things. So a boy having meltdowns and hitting the teacher would def be something I'd have told my mum about. Just like i'd have told her about anything else out of the ordinary.

YANBU

I say that as a parent of two special needs children.

I am not offended by any of the posts here and one of mine has AS. I don't think this situation is fair on the boy OR the other children.

Obviously I am very tolerant of special needs, I fight tooth and nail for my children to get the help they need this situation is hard on the other children as well and something needs to be done, if it was my child I would be saying the same too.

Linking 'This is my child' doesn't change that.

You are justified in your concern for your child, as a parent with SN children I more than accept and understand that.

However, what the answer is I do not know.

I would also add that I work in a school for boys who are statemented for social, emotional and behavioural difficulties (a statement that is nearly impossible to get so these are fairly extreme cases). I teach English. In a school of disaffected and challenging teenage boys this doesn't make my subject the most popular however

having [meltdowns] which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc

rarely happens. Shouting at the teacher perhaps but the other things happen perhaps once a week because we have put measures in place to help these students.

This boy needs more help than he is receiving. I see nothing wrong with pointing that out.

Oh and one of mine has AS so I do have experience with it.

sorry, I already put that.

^Exactly this.

Damn, thread moved too fast. That "Exactly this" was to blueemerald's post.

Sorry, not read all the posts so may be repeating something already said here...why not talk to your dd about how she could include this other child? Maybe a sense of belonging would help him adjust to the new environment, and he'd settle down sooner. Maybe tolerance and friendship would be a more important lesson than a lot of the academic lessons happening in the class.

Trust in your child and this child, it is still early in the term and they will all do well with hard work and determination.

If she has only just started secondary school, so has this child with special needs (I don't think an argument is helped by reducing the description to initials). And the relationship with his helper will also be new. For such a child the change in circumstances will be even more distressing than a change of school is for the general run of children. I suggest you give the situation time to settle down, and your child and the rest of them time to find their own way to handle the situation. If he is indeed very bright, he may in some respects prove a useful benchmark of attainment for all the children.

Parents of children with sn,having their child's best interests at heart + parents of nt children, having their child's best interests at heart = bunfight

No one is right and no one is wrong? Unfortunately in some cases it is difficult to combine the two. But each parent has the right to be concerned about their own child.

It is difficult to be rational, but it is not difficult to see both viewpoints. I do think that there is a lot of defensiveness by parents of children with sn. Understandable because they feel attacked, but if they want understanding, then they should also understand where other parents come from, instead of attacking them. Some posters of children with sn, do manage this. Others definitely don't though.

It does work both ways

I would agree with you shewhowines with the slight proviso that some of us of parents of children with SN and parents of children who are nt.

I see this from both sides.
The problem is when parents see it in terms of the chikdren rather than the classroom structure and support.

I am feeling very disillusioned with MN.

We are seen as irrational and saddening because we object to all the anti inclusion threads and moaning about kids with SN.

Then someone posts 'my heart sank when I heard there were kids with SN in my child's class' and this is seen as OK.

if they said their heart sank because there were black kids in their child's class there would be outrage.

I am not irrational, or just thinking about my DD, who is at special school, or bitter that my life is harder, as people like to say to try to put us back in our boxes.

I can empathize perfectly well with people too

But all this moaning about inclusion leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh i'm not being PC or part of the SN brigade or any of that crap either.

Am going to step away from Mn a bit until these threads die down, if they ever do.

Maybe there are people equally horrified that people are posting these threads but they aren't very much in evidence, apart from a few.

Depressing.

"the posters on this thread who think that boy shouldn't be in that class"

If he can handle being in that class then of course he should stay there. If not, which seems to be the case here, then what is the problem with finding a more appropriate place for him? Surely the same applies whether he is special needs or not?

Were the OP to have written about the problem without mentioning special needs, no doubt everyone would say she should definitely speak to the school. Throw in an emotive issue and everyone is so desperate to show how enlightened and inclusive they are that the crux of the issue goes out the window.

The problem is not that he is special needs, the problem is classes being disrupted. That surely needs to be dealt with, no matter what the source of the problem is?

Fanjo - Assuming children with SN are going to be an issue in a classroom, is wrong. Many children with SN do perfectly fine in mainstream classes.

And some who don't could do with better management and support.

But some children with SN are never going to have their needs met in a mainstream classroom, or the needs of other children. Parents should be able to choose whether mainstream or specialist provision is more suitable for their child. For many parents this choice no longer exists.

I'm a teacher and I wouldn't expect 11 and 12 year olds to be able to ignore what sounds like major, regular disruption. That's not a decent education.
I don't have the solution but the situation sounds untenable and you should definitely bring it up.

Most people don't dare post because their views are somewhere in the middle. There is a lot of attacking and unpleasantness from both "sides".

"Both sides". I am not on either side. I am for inclusion when children's needs can be met.

So am I but when that breaks down, as it often does in reality, then we have the problem as described by the op.

And it is a problem because all the children's needs are not being met.

So it's understandable that all parents are upset. Parents of all children are right to be concerned about the impact of that on "their child". A bit of understanding and compassion from both "sides " needs to be shown. Attacking each other is not the answer, though I wish I knew what was

To follow on from what Orange has said, I would think that some work might be done with the other children in the classroom, OP. That they find it 'hysterical' suggests that no-one has done a thing to help them understand inclusion, or to develop empathy, compassion, etc. in this context.

It's a new school, and a big transition to make for everyone, especially this boy, so I would suggest some patience.

I am not on a "side"

My DD is not in mainstream education.

She IS in a class with children with SN eho are more disruptive than her.

But I don't post and bitch about them.

As that would be crass