to think this is very disruptive??

[macdoodle]

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school ).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit , it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

Fanjo again, jumping to conclusions. I'm not telling off or patronising, just giving my opinion - if you're entitled to do so, why aren't I? I didn't say everyone was doing it, I said a number of posters seemed to have just flocked in to throw insults and suggest that the OP had personally offended them - again, ON BOTH SIDES. The posters who did it all seem to have disappeared, but people are taking my comments as personal insults.

I'm a carer so I know how it feels to see comments being made and want to step in and call names and say "How would you feel?", but I realise too that there's no reasoning with people who have no experience of discrimination - first or second hand - and arguing will only make me angrier, and the next time I see a post, I'll go in all guns blazing again. Taking a step back and realising that these people need to be left to being small minded, because they'll fuck up some day and realise just what an idiot they were, is the only way I manage to keep my blood pressure normal

Moomin..implying people just fancy a bunfight is really dismissive of the fact they were hurt by the thread and comments on it.

And I said before I.am not on a.side..my DD is in special school.

It's insulting to say people just see words 'SN' and wade.in for a fight. Do try to empathise a bit

I hate the assumptions been made. I am disabled, I do understand about discrimination.

Agree with moomin. Some of the things said about the Op's daughter - "she a gossip", "she's intolerant", "she should be able to work through disruption" are pretty unpleasant.

This is a 12 year old child!

If it's coming across as really nasty I do apologise. It's just a big trigger for me, after years spent listening to other children laugh and joke about the 'funny' hinges my DS had done.

Trust me Alis, I know. Not SN, but bereavement, disability and mental illness. People think they're so fucking untouchable that they can laugh, belittle and patronise others, until it happens to them. Worst thing is, sometimes they just think it gives them even more right to carry on belittling others.

People are shits sometimes times like these I remember why I don't get into serious threads. Feelings are bad.

No I am not jumping to conclusions.

I will not be told off like a child and accused of just bunfighting is all.

People always do that and it's really unfair to people who are genuinely hurt on these threads.

The thing is, at age 11, parents are the only advocate any child has. If she is in this special group and all the children are taught together all day long, it could end up pretty miserable if the situation isn't resolved. And nobody will learn much. It might get resolved. Lots can change. But, as a parent, I would expect to hear about it from my Year 7 child.

I x posted. I see your point more now.

Fair enough abusive posts are out of order. .and should be deleted.

But a group of posters...not necessarily being you..always comes along and belittles the views of posters with children with SN as some "hysterical SN brigade" and it gets wearing.

In which case I'm sorry Alexa, I thought you were being serious about the OP's daughter moving schools.

As I've drip-fed in my comments, I understand watching someone you love beyond everything facing discrimination and discomfort and name-calling and so much more, and being unable to stand up for themselves. I think my original post was badly-worded and I apologise if it came across as patronising or offensive. From my (biased) viewpoint, it seemed like some posters were intent on causing an argument - but it might be skewed from times I've gone into a debate and been told the same, when really I've been so desperate to defend people. Like I said, it's why I avoid debates about serious stuff usually

Again, I can only apologise.

Hold your horses one cotton picking minute.

Are some of you seriously criticising the ops 12 year old daughter for telling her mother what is going on during her day?

I agree. I would expect a 12yo to tell me this, if it formed a part of their day. Why not. I do apologise for using the word gossip, that was unfair.

I do think she needs to be taught more tolerance though, that the SN boy did something noteworthy shouldn't be the subject of hilarity.

Moomin

Trust me Fanjo, this is the first.... and probably last ... time I'll enter any sort of debate, particularly one on such a sensitive topic. Like I say, my original post was worded badly - on first reading of the thread, it really did seem like people just saw the words SN and flocked in to attack, but on re-reading a few posts... and stopping and thinking about why I stopped posting about my own experiences... I realised that I can understand why you came to the post, to speak to the OP and to give her the viewpoint that the parents of this boy might have, and to give balance to the thread.

As I've said before, sorry to anyone I've offended. I'm more than happy to apologise.

Moomin

I am the same. I am happy to apologise and again, will say I should not have called her daughter a gossip. I don't know her, and that was unfair.

No offence taken here :)

I was only narked that there was a perception that there is a vast array of provision for 'these' kids... And there is not.

It's all about inclusion whether we like it or not

Alexa I read it as the thing that causes hilarity is the fact that they all get to have a bit of a skive while the teacher is trying to deal with the issue.

The secondary school day is very intense and a shock when you start Y7. I can remember being incredibly gleeful about a fire alarm that turned out to be an actual (very small) fire. I can remember walking down five flights of stairs and someone saying "I can smell smoke" and us all cheering as there was no way we'd be back in time for the French test now.

This was pre 9/11 days and it didn't occur to any of us that smelling smoke when still 4 floors up was not a good thing.

'But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical'

-

That. Without question, implies that the kids think the behaviour is hysterical, not the fact they are getting a skive.

It's horrible, intolerant, and very triggering.

I totally don't get your fire alarm analogy but I'm probably being a bit thick