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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not allow my dc in this vehicle?

26 replies

LookJohnLookJanetLook · 12/10/2013 20:29

My dd was invited to a birthday party today 2 hours away (inc motorway travel). 10 children were being taken to it in a Land Rover with side facing seats and no seat belts. I refused the lift and party invite due to this. No other parent had an issue with this, and another mum who's dd was going was really shocked that I wouldn't let mine go.

Was IBU?

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 12/10/2013 20:30

YANBU. However if.my dd really wanted to.go, and I could, id drive her and just mooch round awaiting the return journey.

Spirulina · 12/10/2013 20:30

Couldn't you have driven your own child?

blueberryupsidedown · 12/10/2013 20:31

You are not. We all have our own standards but I always check on the car seats seatbelts travel situations. I don't mean if it's a quick school pickup and there is no booster seat, but if it's a longer journey I would have done the same as you.

Original poster
LookJohnLookJanetLook · 12/10/2013 20:31

Not a four hour round trip - dd wasn't that fussed not to have gone. But if it had been for example a minibus with seat belts then she would have gone with no hesitation.

OP posts:
boardingschoolbaby · 12/10/2013 20:34

Land rovers with so defacing seats all have lap belts. If it didn't have seat belts it would not be road worthy so would not have tax etc

boardingschoolbaby · 12/10/2013 20:34

So defacing? Side facing sorry!

FlobberWobber · 12/10/2013 20:35

No way, I don't think you were BU at all, is it even legal to not wear/have seatbelts?

GiveItYourBestShot · 12/10/2013 20:40

Depends on the age of the car, I think. Mine only has seatbelts in the front.

Original poster
LookJohnLookJanetLook · 12/10/2013 20:42

It appears that a car newer than 2007 has to have it.

Older than 1990 do not have to have it

And I can't clarify 1990-2007 and I don't know the age of the friend's car.

OP posts:
bundaberg · 12/10/2013 20:42

no way would any child of mine be getting into that car.

10 children???? i know the side facing seats are bench seats, but they are not designed to take that many children Hmm

so even if it did have lap belts it wouldn't have had enough surely?

colleysmill · 12/10/2013 20:44

flobber it depends on the age of the vehicle - if seatbelts were never fitted then its legal to ride in.

Op sometimes you have to do what's right for you and yours.

Fwiw we have 2 old vehicles that have limited or no seatbelts and I always check beforehand if parents are happy for their children to ride in them - I never assume it is. Whilst I may be happy for my dc to ride that's my judgement and I accept theirs.

FlobberWobber · 12/10/2013 20:44

I'm surprised that the other parents were ok about it, I absolutely wouldn't be and can't think of anyone in their right mind who would be.

FlobberWobber · 12/10/2013 20:45

colleysmill - sorry X-post, that wasn't meant as a dig at you!

colleysmill · 12/10/2013 20:50

That's ok :) not offended at all. I fully accept not everyone would do what we do.

Onesleeptillwembley · 12/10/2013 21:02

No, you're not. And I would judge anybody who would just because they don't care enough about their children's safety they shouldn't assume that you are negligent as well. I do wonder why some people bother having children.
I will say that emergencies are a different matter.

FeckOffCupofBatBlood · 12/10/2013 21:07

YANBU, I remember doing similar as a child with a few of us piled into the back of someone's dad's estate car to go ice skating but that was 20 odd years ago and no way would I let my child do that now.

bundaberg · 12/10/2013 21:17

i'd be interested to know if they would be insured to take that many people too....

i have a feeling that the law says no more passengers than there are seats, and the vehicle will have a max number of passengers. am certain it is less than 11 (10 kids and the driver)

HouseOfGingerbread · 12/10/2013 21:20

Do I know you FeckOff? I remember ice skating trips with 3/4 kids on the back seat and the same again in the boot of the estate. My parents thought nothing of making me sit in the hatchback boot of my mum's fiesta because there was no room on the backseat with my sister and grandparents. As you say, it was a long time ago, roads were a bit less busy, cars were a lot less high powered and everyone was less risk aware. I would not do it now.

Donkeyok · 12/10/2013 21:27

My dh always tells me he had to ride in the boot when they had guests riding in their car! We know more about road safety now. Why the other parents didn't say something is strange to me. I wouldn't have allowed it, wasn't just round the corner. Why would it be so impossible to leave a hospital with a new born unless the seat were correctly fitted and yet when they 're older it would be ok? Mad.

junkfoodaddict · 12/10/2013 21:38

How old is your DD?
If these children were under the age of 12, they would ALL need to be in proper chid seats, especially if under the height limit (which is 148cm or something?)
YANBU for turning down the invite. Had my child been above 12, I would still not allow him to travel.
Donkeyok Agreed. I was not allowed to leave hospital UNLESS my little boy was in an infant car seat.

colleysmill · 12/10/2013 21:41

Children under 3 are not legally allowed to ride in cars without a seatbelt historic or otherwise. Over 3 they can in the back only.

Our vehicles are not everyday use type things - more high days and holidays - and the oldest one (which is tax and MOT exempt) we only ever trailer on a motorway - its just not built for that.

In the ops situation I think I would have my reservations of letting my dc go which might sound hypocritical but to me there's a difference between a large party of overexcited children travelling with someone you might not know well on a motorway unseatbelted and travelling in the back of a banger across a field at a rally or in an organised road rally on quiet roads at 25mph with mum and dad accompanying.

RenterNomad · 12/10/2013 21:43

All the Land Rover Defenders I have seen,with the side-facing benches, fit 3 on each side, so 10 might be an exaggeration, or there are possibly more vehicles involved...?

colleysmill · 12/10/2013 21:51

junkfoofaddict you're right if a seatbelt is available but if its an older vehicle or is a historic vehicle that wasn't originally fitted with seatbelts and still doesn't have them the law is different. Once you fit belts I believe normal rules apply.

Whether the side benches makes a difference legally I don't know. Tbh I don't know much about land rovers - bit modern for us!

FeckOffCupofBatBlood · 13/10/2013 10:33

Might do HouseofGingerbread, are you Scottish?

Pixieonline · 13/10/2013 10:36

YWNBU! No seat belt = not going anywhere!

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