AIBU To Have Time Off Work Due To Stress

[Strumpetron]

I'm a manager for the business I work for, and at the moment I'm not coping well at all. I work from 9-5 which is okay but it is extremely fast paced and mentally draining, then I go to college from 6-9:30, I volunteer at weekends and I'm trying to have a home life and do driving lessons too. It's just far too much. I've been to the doctors and he recommends that I drop the voluntary work, and have a bit of time off work.

I know my workplace is very understaffed though and I know it'll put pressure on other people, I'd feel so so guilty.

So AIBU to have the time off, should I just go and get on with it?

strump I think people get that work is harder than a leisure activity such as a course- that's true of all of us.

They are saying that you could find more energy and resilience for work if you dropped all other activities (however easy they may be individually) and focussed on work alone.

Yeah I get you.

I just feel like I'm on a time limit at the minute. I'm desperate to have children but me and DP decided it would only be after I qualify. I don't want to be stuck in the job I'm doing now, nursing is the one thing I want to do and I have made sacrifices for it. Wish I'd have done all this from leaving school rather than decided at 21! Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it

Why are you volunteering all weekend? Weekends could be acting as your recovery/me-time. No wonder you are stressed. Prioritise your paid work and then your college course, both are do-able, but you need the weekends to study and relax, not fill with volunterring activities!

Also, your GP should be your first port of call if things have got so bad you are thinking of staying off work.

Don't worry I've dropped that now although feel really guilty! Voluntary work is part of the application process in many universities now, we're all being told to get voluntary work under our belts. It doesn't matter as much for me as I've worked in healthcare previously.

My GP was my first port of call :) he told me to stay off

cancel the voluntary & the driving lessons, book a week off work (holiday of you have it) and just REST!
Do nothing, phone in sick from college & just do nothing.

See how you feel going back to work & college after some complete rest, if you still feel as if you cant cope then maybe you do need complete rest & some time off.

BUT I would not be happy paying sick pay to someone too ill to come to work but was choosing to continue with college.
I'm afraid you don't get to choose when an employer is paying you because you are unfit to work!

just seen your updates, should've read before I posted :)

I don't know about only having kids after you qualify. I would wait to have kids until you are stable and your meds are under control, but I am not sure why you would postpone it for retraining?

There's actually not much point in having a shiny new nursing qualification and then not using it, as you have just had kids. Better to have a current qualification once your kids are at the age where you are ready to go back to work, surely? its not as if nursing is easy to compbine with very small kids, like all shift work, it isnt.

I haven't got a current qualification, that's the thing. I've only got my GCSE's, NVQ, and I'll have a Level 3 Diploma.

My is to train, get the qualification and work for at least a year. Then I'll have my bearings and have a bit of experience, then try for a baby. Work until maternity, then return back to work. I'll be on enough to (combined with DP's wage) pay for good childcare.

I don't want to have a baby first, most people I know in nursing have said they wish they'd trained first before having children. You don't get much notice on placement changes, can't book holidays, so from a childcare point of view it's a nightmare. Most people say they don't get enough time with their children too. I would rather do this before I have a little person dependant on me.

At this rate, if I get into uni for september 2014 I'll be 27 by the time I qualify. I want my career in order before bringing a kiddy into the world.

By "current" I meant, better have just recently qualified as a nurse once you are ready to go back to work- as opposed to, qualify now and then have five years off at home. But if you are only planning on mat leave, it comes to the same thing.

27 is young. I was 30 before I had children. Do get those meds sorted out though, getting your health stable will be fundamental to making this work.

Thankyou :)

I've struggled with my mental health from being a teenager it's been a bloody uphill battle since then.

Hopefully finally get my brain in order this time