Dh and after work drink

[magicstars]

DH is a teacher, started a new job this Sep. He is usually finished by 5pm and when needs be, does his planning in the evening after dd is in bed. Since starting his new job, he's started going out for a drink on a Friday after work. I'm not that happy about this, as his commute is over an hour and having been at home all day with dd, I look forward to his company and help. I would hope he'd want to come home and spend some qt with us too.
He is still not home (blaming traffic) and so will miss dd's bedtime I am especially annoyed as dd and I are going away for the next week and therefore he should be prioritising spending time with us over socialising with his colleagues.
AIBU to be annoyed with him?

downstairs

That seems a good solution!

It needs to be appreciated that you will both be tired at the end of the day in order to come to a fair agreement on anything :)

YABU - in my old job a lot of people used to go for a couple of pints after work on a Friday. It is one night a week - sounds like you are trying to be a bit controlling tbh. Imagine if the OP was a man and it was his wife wanting to go out for a drink on a Friday - posters would be ranting at him!

I still can't see why the op is being unreasonable, he is out 3 nights a week, albeit only one for drinks. He needs to unwind but what about her, doesn't she need to unwind too? At the end of the day she is working partime, studying and taking care of a toddler if someone needs to unwind is her! Yet she is aldo babysitting at night so he can carry on with a hobby and unwind with colleagues in Friday night.

Op glad you got things sorted to a reasonable agreement but do not ever forget it is not the 1950s anymore.

All the best

She didn't say he is out three nights a week.

He does a hobby one night. He is often out doing other stuff another night. Some of that might be work commitments. He goes out on Fridays in the early evening, and appears usually to be back before many f/t workers get home.

if he was doing it every night it would be unreasonable, but once a week isn't much to ask. he needs to have some social life of his own. So do you. Why don't you have a weekly night out with friend's or something?

Glad you found a reasonable solution.

Every relationship is different but I feel you may be being a little unreasonable.

My husbands office is 10 minutes away but he also has to travel monthly - something 1-2 trips to Spain for between 1-3 days each and then usually at least 2-4 trips up north for one or 2 nights each.

I work and look after our ds aged 5 and do it on my own when he's not here. I don't stop him going out despite our busy work weeks. He needs a life and I need mine. I enjoy us having time apart. I like how confident I feel getting on without him - I have a friend who's husband went away for 2 nights and she was moaning about it for weeks! Get over it!

It's really good for couples to learn to be happy apart and have separate interests and friends and it allows u both to give each other that freedom.