to be quite offended at this Sains tills person

[itsn0tmeitsyou]

So I have done my weekly shop at Sainsburys, with two of my children in tow, DS2 aged 3 and DS3 aged 18m. As I had bought a lot, I gave them a chocolate biscuit to keep titchy one from screaming, and medium-sized one from wetting himself as he really needed a wee. Sent DS2 over to the windows bit behind the tills to sit down to make the feeling go away.

When I gave DS3 his biscuit I unthinkingly didn't take the wrapper off and then he immediately ate the foil/papery bit. Tried to get it out of his mouth and he bit my finger so there was a bit of ouching/hopping. Deduced pretty quickly that the till woman was a humourless cow as she just looked at me like I was an irritating sloven (paranoid??).

When I had finished shopping, there was a minor debacle surrounding my coupons which Humourless Till Cow couldn't get to work, and she sat there not looking at me, hitting her computer screen thingy. She had to call the supervisor over.

When I had paid and the supervisor was giving me a petrol coupon at the adjacent empty till, the HTC made a point of getting a cloth and wiping down all the surfaces around her till area. As though I was some skank queen who had contaminated her zone, and she couldn't wait to clean up after me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She even looked at me as she did it!!!!!!!
AIBU to be considering complaining to Sainsburys for this??? Or should I just suck it up?

Haha, is this for real?

Yabu. I don't think she did anything wrong except be grumpy. Some til staff are grumpy regardless of whether you have dc!

She totally did the look Pag.

It got me through the long, lonely days...

I'm not sure what the poor till lady has done here

Funny looks? no, I don't believe you can tell what people are thinking about you from a glance they give you, I think its rampant paranoia added to a fundamental attribution error.

I am feeling the love for AIBU today. I am beginning to realise I am actually the kinda gal that most of life's daily shit just bounces straight off! It seems to take a lot to offend me!

Ahh OP you are BU but I think you know that! You should have had one of those biscuits yourself to give yourself a warm sugar rush! Hope your day improves anyway.

at K8

I'm going to do DDs face back at her the next time she tries to claim it was just her regular face.

Why didn't you just take your child to the toilet

Do you think that HTC should have had to wipe his piss up too?

OP, I think you said something very sensible when you said you felt better just writing it all down! It is very therapeutic to express your feelings - definitely helps to get rid of them. I certainly don't think you should make a complaint - it's just not important enough and has no real foundation in fact. However, it is unpleasant when till ladies or anyone else seem critical or unfriendly when you yourself are feeling stressed, as you were. Some till persons are congenitally grumpy - there is one who I make a point of avoiding at the supermarket I go to as I have literally never seen her smile in years of shopping there and she has stared balefully at me on previous occasions for utterly no reason (no children, no chocolate biscuits) It would have been nice if she had had a sympathetic smile or word for your predicament with your children but some people are just not paraticularly happy at work! Don't take it personally - it was just one of these occasions which reinforce how important little social gestures/ kindnesses are in oiling the wheels of society and making life more pleasant for everyone.

I know a friend of a friend who is convinced that people are always giving her looks. It's tiring, boring and gets you down just being around her.

Musicismylife

Her child didn't wet himself. Creating hypothetical situations just as an excuse to use a face is fairly petty.

you deduced she was a humorless cow, because you thought she looked at you like you were an irritating sloven?! I haven't a clue what a look that implied 'irritating sloven' would possibly be, distinct from a thousand other possible looks. That makes me suspect you were feeling like an irritating sloven, and interpreted her look in that way. It may be that it was a somewhat negative look, but you actually really don't have any evidence what she was thinking from that, and certainly not to that level of detail. Honestly. Some people just have neutral looks that seem a bit grumpy (like me! I'm usually quite cheerful, but don't always look it, if I don't make huge efforts to smile all the time, which can get wearing). It could well have been that. Even if it was actually more negative than neutral, there are a million reasons for that, including lots that might have been going on in her own life or around you.

Once you'd decided she was a humorless cow, that might well have coloured your interactions with her, so that you both perceived all kinds of things from the other person, none of which might have had any basis in reality.

And finally, even if she did think you were slovenly and she had to clear up after you, that is her perception. It doesn't have to affect you - you could decide that you disagree and that she must have got it wrong, and then go about your day knowing that she had misunderstood you. Or you could decide that you don't really care what she thinks of you, right or wrong. Or you could decide you agreed, maybe you were a bit irritating, because you were having a bad day, and forgive yourself. Or lots of other possibilities. Sometimes just working through all that in your head can help you shrug little things like this off.

I like you Bettercall, and I like you BB referencing name.

I feel the same. A smile is not that hard. I have worked in sales and I wouldn't get away with being miserable to clients. It's part of the job to be pleasant to people, imo.

At music, when half your shopping has been already been rung through when DS announces need to pee, there are people behind you, and you reckon it's quicker to try to get him to sit down for a minute while you finish up, are you seriously suggesting I say "Stop everyone, I really must take DS to the loo so you will either have to stand here for more than 5 minutes waiting, or take all your stuff off the conveyor belt and go elsewhere" ????? Another one with no children who literally has no idea.

Sounds like a stressful trip. Firstly, the kids were being kids and this was stressful for you. Secondly, Being served by someone not exactly overflowing with warmth (there could be myriad reasons why - sleepless night, illness, hangover, personal problems or just a humourless cow without a cause) does nothing to enhance a shopping experience.

I think you're trying to make this into something greater than its parts, though. Dealing with kids and shopping and things not going entirely smoothly probably resulted in you taking the checkout assistant's actions personally.

How do you know she hasnt children? You ate assuming.
Just like when you went shopping.
You though the lady gave you a funny look so assumed that she thought you were slovenly.
No evidence this woman was rude at all.

Are*

I think you're being silly OP. its not all about you.

Maybe she was just upset by the filthy looks you were giving her? she could be sobbing her little heart out right now for all you know.

OP - so you wanted the checkout lady to laugh that YOUR dc bit your finger?! You then complain she didnt raise a smile & cleaned her workstation! YABVU & a knob!

...She didn't say or do anything though, apart from wipe down her surface. You weirdo.

define a 'funny look' op?