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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why the FRIG does DH need to take 15 minutes to do a poo?

88 replies

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/10/2013 08:04

I don't get it. Bastard made me miss my bus, not have time for a shower and be late. Grrr.

Surely it's sit down, do your business, wipe, wash hands. All over within 2 minutes max.

But no. Instead he has to sit for 15 minutes, playing fucking FarmVille on his phone, and then take the longest shower ever. When he knows I'm in a hurry.

Grrrr. Should I LTB??! Grin

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 09/10/2013 12:48

I can empathise. DH is almost always late in the morning as he needs time to have his poo. I say if he wants the luxury if a long poo then be needs to get up earlier.

He always chooses inconvenient times them moans as he can't do it in peace. Well if he's choosing to go at the kids bedtime in the loo when their toothbrushes are then no, I am not going to wait 1/2 an hour and make the kids late into bed.

It drives me crackers.

CreatureRetorts · 09/10/2013 12:54

He's doing it to hide and get you to do stuff.

CreatureRetorts · 09/10/2013 12:56

Also I know it can be done quicker because my DH he may well be reading this had been in and out in five minutes when he knows I've got to go to work.

Damnautocorrect · 09/10/2013 12:59

What's the obsession with taking your phone /iPad in with you. It's dirty, unhygienic and where do they find the time?!

MummyPig24 · 09/10/2013 13:01

My dad used to come in from work and retreat to the bathroom with the paper. Perhaps he still does, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't actually spending 30 minutes having a crap.

Dh is way better now. I think he has finally got sick of small people miraculously needing the loo the second a parents bum lands on it that he has sped up his shutting process by miles.

mumofboyo · 24/10/2013 09:07

My dh and I have just had a major row resulting in him storming out of the door in a strop because he took 45 minutes in the bathroom to have a shit and shower. 45 sodding minutes. I pointed out the time when he disappeared off upstairs and said I'd see him in an hour, because he does it every fucking morning. If we had no children it wouldn't be so bad but we do, and it usually means I have to clean them both up after breakfast, change both nappies, put both their creams on, get them both dressed and then get them and their bags ready to go out. All by myself whilst at the same time trying to eat my own breakfast and get myself ready. And he can't understand why I get so pissed off.

This morning, after about 35 minutes, I had to quickly put the bin out because it'd not been done last night ans the bin lorry was on its way, dd was screaming and ds' nappy was down to his knees it was so full. I started to change his nappy and get him ready, dd was still screaming and trying to climb on me. At this point I lost my temper and shouted upstairs "It's been nearly an hour now cone downstairs and sort dd out!" It took him another ten fucking minutes. He then started shouting at me saying that I'm making him go to work in a bad mood again (we have this same row several times a week), to which I said, "Try not taking so frigging long then."

It's not fair that he gets the best part of an hour to himself every morning and I struggle to eat my breakfast and have a shit in peace because I'm left to get the kids ready on my own. If I didn't get the kids ready we'd never leave the house on a morning because he then goes to work as soon as he comes down.

Sorry for writing on an older thread and sorry fir such a long post, I just need a rant because I'm so fucking pissed off.
I know that compared to a lot of people I have it easy because this is the only area that causes us to argue, in every other way he's great, but I'm fed up of having to do it all every morning. On Saturday I'm going to do it to him, disappear into the unknown for nearly an hour and let him sort them out. See how he likes it.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 24/10/2013 09:17

Dh takes ages too though not as long as some of these
He is reasonable about it though and is regular, goes in the evening after the kids are in bed when we would just be pottering or watching tv etc. He also checks I won't need to go first

Sunnysummer · 24/10/2013 09:17

DH has always sworn he needs lots of time, and like a fool I felt bad for him and wondered if he should see someone for IBS. Then was I was in my third trimester and kept nearly wetting myself while waiting for the loo to be free, I challenged him to a poo with no reading material or electronics. He thought he took just as long as usual. He actually took 3 minutes.

Now I just bang on the door repeatedly like an angry fishwife Wink

mumofboyo · 24/10/2013 09:30

I think I might start banging and braying on the door as well, and banning him from taking his phone. I know he can do it quickly because one morning I had to leave at half past 7 for work 30 odd miles away. He left his phone downstairs, had a shower the night before and took just 15 mins.
It never used to bother me but now we have kids and I'm left to sort them out on my own while he has a leisurely 30+ minutes to shit/shower really pissed me off. Angry Angry Angry

mrsjay · 24/10/2013 09:30

dh is longer than 15 minutes most of the time if he is quicker I worry he has the runs Grin I have no idea why they take so long maybe men have slower transits that women or something It has always baffled me what he is doing int he toilet for so long him going for a poo is an event that he tells us about Hmm

mrsjay · 24/10/2013 09:33

@ saycool(my favourtine mumsnetters name ever ), not seen you in ages shame it had to be on a poo thread Grin

GrendelsMum · 24/10/2013 09:36

Why don't you get into the bathroom for an hour long poo before you DH does, mumofboyo?

mumofboyo · 24/10/2013 09:50

Because I can't think of anything worse than sitting on the bog for an hour, it would be too cold and uncomfortable. Which is another reason I can't understand why it takes him so long; surely his arse gets numb?
On Saturday I'm just going to do the same to him tho, go upstairs and sit in the bedroom for an hour on mn just as the kids have finished eating and need cleaning/changing/dressing and dd has an hour long screamathon.

digerd · 24/10/2013 10:39

I know that the prostate gland is touchable at the top of the anus and that for Artificial Insemination in Gorillas is achieved by sticking a rod up their bums , an electrical current then stimulates it and the male Gorilla ejaculates - all done under a GA, so gorilla is unconscious. Saw it done on TV docmentary.

Whether males having a poo stimulates their prostate, am unsure. But seems unlikey they ejaculate while pooing, but could be a mild stimulation? The poo is pushing downwards away from the PG and not upwards.

Only an honest man can tell us women as we have no prostate gland and cannot know.

FreudiansSlipper · 24/10/2013 10:53

ds has started taking ages to do a poo

he is only 6 put likes to sit there for at least 10 minutes. from what i can remember his dad is the same and took his gameboy with him to help him concentrate Hmm

Spaulding · 24/10/2013 11:32

YANBU. DP takes at least half an hour. He's on his phone while he's in there too so I reckon he just sits there on it. He comes up barely able to stand because his legs ache from sitting on the loo for so long. I barely spend 5 minutes in the bathroom. I've no idea how he manages to take half an hour.

mumofboyo · 24/10/2013 11:41

I dread to think what it's going to be like when the dcs are older, getting ready for school and need to use the loo on a morning. There'll be us 3 fighting to use the downstairs bog and cleaning our teeth in the kitchen sink cos that lazy, selfish bastard hogs the bathroom for nearly an hour every frigging morning.

The more I've thought about this the angrier I've got; it's not helped by the fact that dd hasn't stopped screaming at me all morning, since before 7 o'clock, and ds is chucking tantrums left, right and centre for no apparent reason. Both are wanting to sit on me and climb all over me, I've got no personal space and haven't even been able to shit on my own; whereas d h had an hour off this morning then fucked off to work. Roll on Monday when the kids go back to nursery. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I hate hate hate being on my own all bastard day, my life has changed beyond recognition since having the kids yet he has carried on as before with next to no changes. And can't understand why I get annoyed when he takes so much time on the bloody loo. Angry Angry Angry

quoteunquote · 24/10/2013 11:45

offer to buy him a squatty potty Grin

squatty potty

bamboo

mumofboyo · 24/10/2013 11:53

Lol, he does have haemorrhoids and IBS (but he's not had a flare-up in the whole 5+ yrs we've been together: I asked. I also asked if he's either constipated or has the trots; the answer to both was no. He's just a lazy git who likes an hour off every morning whilst I run around like a headless chicken getting myself and the kids ready. I might suggest he uses ds' potty! Grin

TheKnightsWhoSayNi · 24/10/2013 11:56

It's definitely nothing to do with biology.

It's the other way around with us. I just squeeze the stuff out, plop-plop-plop, wipe, flush, wash, done. DW spends 15mins minimum in there. Sometimes longer. It's bizar.

On the other hand, if I'm doing something on the phone it can take me considerably longer. I think it's due to sitting on her phone and not getting on with it that's the problem.

SybilRamkin · 24/10/2013 12:10

I have the answer! Courtesy of answersaboutmen.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/why-do-men-take-so-long-in-bathroom.html

"I know what most women may be thinking. "I can poop and be done in less than a minute, so why is he in there for a good hour?" Ladies, you need to understand something; we are men, goddammit. Our diet consists of dead animals, live animals, the blood of our enemies, and beer. Your prissy salad and lady fingers diet shake might hold you for 48 hours, but if I was reading Twilight, staring vapidly into space, and entertaining children, that would satisfy me too. The truth is, we men are out there punching bears, ruling countries, and generally making sure the world runs smoothly for you. So excuse us for taking the hearty shits that are indicative of our superior lifestyle.

A man's shit generally comes into two varieties; the solid turd and the unholy OHGODITBURNS liquid shitstorm. A typical turd is between two and three feet in length and is about as twice as thick as an infant's neck. Contrary to popular (read: women's) belief, the toilet is not clogged because men use too much toilet paper, rather it is because our rigid turds refuse to bend to the will of meager plumbing. Women of course try to remedy this by suggesting that we keep a plunger handy and flush more often. Men of course know that a machete is the only option. The second type of shit mentioned above may be seen as an unfortunate side effect of men's diets, but it is in fact a desirable kind of shit. The typical diet of any man on a given night is grease, hot wings, and beer, and this combination stews up a crock of shit within one's bowels so truly heinous that Cannibal Corpse actually refused to write a song about it. Men actually enjoy having this sort, because it allows him to combine two of his favorite things in life, taking a shit and violence. To a women, the possibility of pooping and suffering a bloody bodily injury seem completely unrelated, but men's colons have rectified this, allowing us to indulge our innermost pooping fantasies as we litter the bowl with what can only be described as the the Tokyo restaurant scene from Kill Bill meets swap.avi.

The other thing that takes a man so long in the bathroom is growing his beard. No, not trimming, not shaping, not shaving. This isn't pubic hair, this is pure, unadulterated facial hair. You see, a beard has always been a symbol of manliness, but few women understand the reason why. You see, one of the basic tenants of manliness has always been the ability to conquer anything and everything that lies in his path. This is why cavemen rode dinosaur mounts, why ivy defies gravity, and why Jesus is afraid to come back. Because we fucking said so. The beard is not actually a part of a man's body, but a separate entity that forms a symbiotic relationship with us, that is, it agrees to grace us with its presence and we agree not to slaughter it with a xyresic blade of folded steel. A man who can't grow a beard or refuses to (ie. a woman) has no control over his environment, and should probably go back to writing "A Ode to my Meat Curtains" or whatever it is that the lesser sex does in their free time."

Sparrowlegs248 · 24/10/2013 12:15

God this would wind me up. DH takes longer than me but its usually at a convenient time (when i'm still in bed or early evening)

I really don't get the posters DH who set the alarm at 3.45 so he had time for his lengthy poo.......surely he didn't need one at that time? I don't think of i must have a poo before i leave the house - i wouldn't make it to work most days!! I think oh i need a poo and then have one, usually quite swiftly!
What is wrong with these men?

FlankShaftMcWap · 24/10/2013 12:23

8 minutes. Every time. No more, no less, he's like fucking clockwork. In from work, get changed, eat then poo. He likes things to be organised, even his turds Grin

TheKnightsWhoSayNi · 24/10/2013 12:24

Sybil, that is utterly hilarious. Grin

KirjavaTheCorpse · 24/10/2013 12:30

My DP is a speed shitter. So much so he informed me last week that he needs to lengthen his time on the toilet to avoid bumhole injury, to two minutes instead of 20 seconds. Hmm

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