Eye contact is suddenly an issue

[Doubtfuldaphne]

Is it weird to look someone in just one eye when talking to them? With some people I find myself doing it usually if they're quite confident types that stare at you or look very directly at you when they're talking to you. . I panic that I look weird but I come over all shy (I'd rather be seen as shy than weird)

I don't think I could tell if someone was looking in just one of my eyes?

I'm sure it just feels noticeable because you're the one doing it IYSWIM?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Phew! I worry they notice then I panic and look away then they look slightly uncomfortable..
I need to get out more :(

I find this tricky to. If I keep flicking my gaze from one eye to the other, that feels wierd, but it feels wierd always looking at one eye too. I'm not altogether comfortable looking at people who are looking at me!

I find this tricky too - I lost an O there!

Wow I thought it was just me! When I try going from eye to eye I feel like I'm flirting so that's ruled out too!

I end up doing that Kevin McCloud thing.

I'm the same with the eye to eye flicking!

I fear they may think I'm watching a tennis match between two fairies or something

DH & I recently established that you can stare at someone's mouth while they're talking & it doesn't look obviously different to if you were maintaining eye contact. I was worried people were going around thinking I had an unhealthy obsession with their teeth or something! I don't, I just find myself watching people's mouths move when they talk!

I say pick a random place on their face & stare away!

No! Staring at their mouths may give the impression you're thinking about how you'd like to kiss them

I have no idea what I do. I think I look at one eye.

I once read that looking at the earlobe looks, to the person speaking, like you are looking at their eyes. I have tried it and it works.

I find this handy with my uncle who has extremely wonky eyes. I used to have a personal panic about looking at the correct eye.

I tend to look at people's mouths or their nose. I have slight hearing loss and looking at their mouth helps me hear them, particularly if it's a noisy/crowded place. Even without the hearing problems, looking into someone's eyes is very uncomfortable to me.

Apparently, you can look at eyebrows instead.

It will look the same to the person you are speaking to.

worra is correct, looking at mouths will give a different impression.

It is given as advice when you want to flirt!

Really? I have always looked at mouths!

A young man I know has aspergers and as a consequence finds eye contact immensely difficult. He has been encouraged to look at the bridge of the nose or the eyebrows instead. I think it's a tip in the book 'freaks, geeks and aspergers syndrome'

How do you look at both eyes at once though without going cross eyed? I find I can't do it so I tend to just look at one.

le do you make friends easily?

I don't think anyone looks at both blood I think we naturally alternate.

Is it possible to look in both eyes?! I only stare at one

I'm pretty sure no one can notice. I remember someone telling me that if you looked at the bridge of someone's nose, you couldn't tell they weren't looking in their eyes. I heard this in junior school and we spent quite a bit of time testing it out. As you do.

God i don't know what i do!

But i do know now that when i go out later and have to talk to someone i'll be taking no notice of what they're saying and will be tying myself in knots over where i'm looking! Arrggh!

Hmm just this morning I was talking to dc's teacher and she has a habit of coming right up close to speak to me. I'm recently finding eye contact a bit difficult with many people especially her! (I am fine sometimes but then I remember how awkward I find eye contact and then I just dont know where to look and my eyes dart here and there making me look shifty and uncomfortable.

Great tip about staring at eyebrows or bridge of nose. Though if someone is standing extremely close to me like dc's teacher does in my personal space it may look a little strange gazing up at their eyebrows?

The listener should maintain eye contact. The speaker is responsible for breaking tension, and should therefore avert their gaze occasionally (is what I was taught at school).

Eyes naturally flick from one eye to the other. It's only awareness that makes it feel odd.

wah she won't know

I wear two hearing aids and I look at a person's mouth when they are talking to me.. helps me to hear and make sense of what they are saying especially in noisy areas. I'm sure people in the past have been quite uncomfortable under my steady gaze but once I explain why I am intently looking at them, they are much more relaxed.. Imagine at first they may think they have something stuck in their teeth or something !

It's a really good tactic for dealing with someone intimidating - not someone who wants to hit you, obviously

Look in one eye until you feel so uncomfortable you want to look away and then swap to the other eye. Keep doing it. It works. I hadn't thought of the eyebrows or bridge of nose but that must be the same thing.

I wonder how many people today will be thinking about what they're looking at on someone's face rather than what they're saying!
I've worked out now why I feel weird talking to some and not others. It's because when some people talk to me, they hold their gaze so instensley that I'm the one trying to deal with how to break it. It's actually up to them so it's not me being I the wrong after all.