Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that even for a super selective grammar school to ridicule a B grade in maths gcse.

58 replies

morry1000 · 08/10/2013 19:31

i have just got off the phone from a friend who's DD is a pupil at a super
selective school. She is expected 8As and 3Bs one of those Bs is in maths, this has led to one or two girls smirking at her or laughing at her.
Friends DD came home a few days ago very upset by the smirking and laughing. Friend rung the school up to complain she managed to speak to the deputy head, the deputy head said that friends DD was nearly 16 and should grow up and anyway a B grade in maths is a poor grade for this school.

Previously friends DD has been happy at this school and is aware of the unofficial 6th form requirements of 7As.

My friend is very upset but she does not want to damage her DDs chance of a 6th form place next year therefore is not prepared to take this any further.

I wanted to get this off my chest because friend wont because of fear for her DD.

I want to know if you think this is horrible on the part of the school.

OP posts:
Lemonsole · 08/10/2013 19:49

Poor girl. Sadly, though, the school probably won't care, as they will be trying to encourage her (push) her to do her A levels elsewhere. Many v selective schools - state and private- don't stand by the pupils that they worked so hard to cream off at 11 or 13, and see even a few Bs at GCSE as being too much work for the school and a risky prospect at A level, when there are others keen to replace her. I've seen it happen.

pixiepotter · 08/10/2013 19:57

It isn't the school that are ridiculing her it is a few students. Teenaged girls find something to bitch and bully about.If it wasn't this it would be something else.
It is true that at a grammar school the vast majority of pupils will get above a grade B.If your friend asked about this ,I am sure she would be told this.
Not everyone is good at everything but at A level that is fine because you are only doing a few subjects. I don't think 3 Bs would bother the school as much as a complete lack of A*s , which show she is not really good at anything.

Coupon · 08/10/2013 20:45

If that's the unhelpful response from the deputy head, next stop is the head.

clairefromsteps · 08/10/2013 21:25

...and after the head, the governors. And after that, the local rag. And believe me, they won't let it get that far. Ask to see a copy of their behaviour/bullying policies.

Original poster
morry1000 · 09/10/2013 19:38

Because the site keeps crashing i have decided to re post this.

OP posts:
Original poster
morry1000 · 30/11/2013 19:37

Just to update everybody friends DD is now predicted an A in her maths Gcse lets hope the smile is on the other side of the bullies faces next june.

OP posts:
Szeli · 01/12/2013 00:26

I got pitiful looks and 'I guess you must be devastated' off the teachers in my results day. I got 1 A 3 As 4 Bs 3 Cs and a D I thought that was reasonable, I was chuffed but then there were girls hysterical who had got 1 A instead of a full run of As. Pathetic

Your friends DD will be fine, you usually get higher than your predicted grade anyway and the sneerers are to be ignored

Retroformica · 01/12/2013 01:05

I would expect a super selective grammar student to only get A's. If a few children were getting B's, I'd say the school wasn't super selective and instead just a normal grammar.

Financeprincess · 01/12/2013 01:15

I'm with the deputy head on this one. The girl needs to grow up, and so does her mother!

Is her mother going to telephone the vice chancellor of her university to complain if other students tease her? What about calling her first employer, when she isn't getting on with a colleague? You can't force people to be nice to you or your children by bleating about bullying all the time - this is just teasing and normal teenage girl snarkiness, not bullying.

Your friend's daughter needs to learn to stand up for herself and shrug off this sort of thing; her mother is doing her no favours by intervening.

teacherandguideleader · 01/12/2013 08:52

Poor girl, although I think this is quite 'normal' in that kind of school. I was educated in one and my 3 lowest grades were Bs - I was made to feel like I had failed. I don't like the culture that exists in many selective schools.

Financeprincess · 01/12/2013 18:44

The answer is simple. If you don't like a competitive academic environment, don't go to, or send your children to, academically selective schools.

You can't have it both ways. "Good" schools are considered good because of their results, so clearly there will be pressure to achieve. That is why people send their children to that sort of school. You can't change your tune when your own kid isn't the smartest and decide that you don't want the school to value academic achievement!

Snowbility · 01/12/2013 18:53

What a horrible culture that school are supporting, bitchy pupils with no manners, I would have thought the school would care about the type of student they were sending out into the world - I know our very successful schools do want pupils to be proud of in all senses of the word.

harticus · 01/12/2013 19:04

And this is why I am keeping my DS away from the idiotic pissing-contest that is selective education.

MrsLouisTheroux · 01/12/2013 19:09

Hideous school. B grade not good enough? What a load of rubbish but if they want to play that game...turn it round on them!! Your friend should ask the school why, if DD is predicted A grades in the other subjects, what is going wrong in the other 3? Are the teachers not up to it? Grin

whatever5 · 01/12/2013 19:09

The school were unhelpful but if this is an isolated incident, I think that your friend was being over the top to phone the school about a couple of 16 year olds being bitchy.

livinginwonderland · 01/12/2013 19:12

For a very selective grammar, a B grade will be seen as poor, sorry.

frenchmanicure · 01/12/2013 19:17

Thing is, the alternative to a school like this is the sort of school my DCs attend, where a C is regarded as an achievement, and pupils aren't encouraged to aim beyond that.

Frankly I'd rather my kids were mocked for not achieving a high grade than 'kept in their place' by a culture of low aspiration....

JanePurdy · 01/12/2013 19:20

It was a revelation to me, after leaving school, that my Bs Maths, Chemistry & Biology weren't actual failures.

thecatfromjapan · 01/12/2013 19:33

I'm surprised she's at a superselective and being predicted As and Bs, to be honest. There are raised eyebrows about the odd A (as opposed to A*) at ds' school. I'm guessing that most won't get that but that is those are the predictions.

Frankly, the pressure is getting to me, heaven knows what it's like for ds. Sad

So ... the girls are probably feeling the pressure themselves and off-loading on your friend;s dd.

Does she really want to stay there for 6th form?

As I am realising, all you can really do is love your children the way they are: support them, love them ...

thecatfromjapan · 01/12/2013 19:48

I saw your update. Hope she gets whatever she needs. Hope she enjoys studying for it. And I hope the pressure eases off.

(That's from the heart - I'm having a rather grim time here at the moment ...)

Talkinpeace · 01/12/2013 21:36

DD is at a comp. Bs are not acceptable in the top set
she's under pressure for all A* (from both her, me, and the school) as are the rest of the top sets
B at a superselective is a tad worrying as they are theoretically the top 5%
something has gone wrong with the teaching if that is the case

sue52 · 01/12/2013 22:44

If she's at a superselective then A* and A are the expected norm.

hippo123 · 01/12/2013 22:52

Thank goodness or state schools is all I can say.

Talkinpeace · 01/12/2013 22:53

???
superselectives ARE state schools

MrsGarlic · 01/12/2013 22:58

They were called "dirty Bs" at my school.

But I wasn't aware of any bullying, that would have been regarded as poor sportmanship really (sportwomanship?).

Swipe left for the next trending thread