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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that even for a super selective grammar school to ridicule a B grade in maths gcse.

58 replies

morry1000 · 08/10/2013 19:31

i have just got off the phone from a friend who's DD is a pupil at a super
selective school. She is expected 8As and 3Bs one of those Bs is in maths, this has led to one or two girls smirking at her or laughing at her.
Friends DD came home a few days ago very upset by the smirking and laughing. Friend rung the school up to complain she managed to speak to the deputy head, the deputy head said that friends DD was nearly 16 and should grow up and anyway a B grade in maths is a poor grade for this school.

Previously friends DD has been happy at this school and is aware of the unofficial 6th form requirements of 7As.

My friend is very upset but she does not want to damage her DDs chance of a 6th form place next year therefore is not prepared to take this any further.

I wanted to get this off my chest because friend wont because of fear for her DD.

I want to know if you think this is horrible on the part of the school.

OP posts:
Canthaveitall · 02/12/2013 04:16

Good grief. My children are a way off secondary but if this is what super selective is I will give it a miss. By that I don't mean the teens who will always find something to bitch about but the adults involved. All that pressure and accusation that you are not any good at something unless you get an A or A*. Vile.

sydlexic · 02/12/2013 06:43

I would like to say that my DS goes to a superselective and any child not reaching their potential is given every help and encouragement. It is not at all like the schools being described here.

I think they sometimes predict a B to give a little jolt to someone not working hard enough. They should all be capable of A's so should strive for them. If your best work gives a B then that is nothing to be sneered at but all pupils in a SS are likely capable of an A.

stillenacht · 02/12/2013 06:51

I bet the Head of Maths has been told to up her prediction to an A to get parents off their backs.

I can't believe a prediction (is it FFT generated?) of a B in maths at a superselective. Maths entry is a criterion of a superselective and so at 11 they would only take those likely to get A* or A at GCSE.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 02/12/2013 07:11

I got a B in one of my GCSEs (although it wasn't Maths) and have still managed to do OK in life.
Smile

sue52 · 02/12/2013 10:57

One or two girls laughing is hardly large scale bullying. I should imagine the deputy head has more pressing matters to be concerned about.

NoComet · 02/12/2013 11:16

Shit, I'm jolly glad my DDs and even DD1's DF at very nice private school are only expected to get a mixture of A*,A and B in less important subjects.

All A* is a joke, it only goes to show the triumph of stupid amounts of hard work and stress over ability. Let children be children and become rounded adults not statistics on the school Web site today and MH patients tomorrow.

lljkk · 02/12/2013 11:38

I am so so grateful I decided not to send DD to that sort of school. She pushes herself plenty hard, thanks. That's what makes her a high achiever. No mockery needed.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 02/12/2013 11:41

Obviously it isn't very kind for the other kids to smirk but really what can you expect of a super selective grammar? And sorry but a B in Maths really isn't good enough for that sort of school. I'm quite surprised at her predicted grades, she seems to be struggling at the super selective. I wouldn't want my daughter to carry on to 6th form at that school.

Snowbility · 02/12/2013 11:47

All A*s is not a guarantee to future success and happiness - I know many Oxbridge graduates with mental health problems....the pressure they have been used to putting themselves under surely must have contributed...but I'd be interested to know what percentage of high flyers have breakdowns compared to everyone else, I acknowledge we probably know more than average.

curlew · 02/12/2013 12:13

Just wondering if people would take the same "grow up" attitude if it he girl was being mocked because she got an A*.....

iclaudius · 02/12/2013 12:20

I've never heard of this kind of thing having had three teens at selective grammars
It's still cool to do no work and a b would probably meet with back slapping and merriment ime

All A* does so NOT just indicate 'stress over ability' plenty of lazy bright kids get them

sue52 · 02/12/2013 12:22

It's a super selective. High maths ability is a selection criteria. A prediction of a B at GCSE would suggest a child who was not working to her full potential.

NoComet · 02/12/2013 12:30

Mockery either way is really unnecessary and should be stamped on hard.

If a school accepts peer bullying, rather than support and encoragement, over grades, it is not fostering a healthy attitude.

Parents who buy into the A* hype are doing their children no favours and need to understand what is right for their DC.

Very difficult, I suspect, in areas where superdelegates, steal all the headlines.

ReallyTired · 02/12/2013 12:32

Failure can happen to anyone, even to children who attend superselectives. Making fun of someone who is predicted a disappointing grade is appauling behaviour and I imagine that the girls involved are feeling insecure. These girls might have a shock when they experience failure later on in their lives. (Ie. degree, career, marriage etc.)

I'll let your daugher into a secret. Some children from secondary moderns do well in life with far poor qualifications. Obviously doing well at school makes life easier, but the ablity to cope with failure is important in life.

NoComet · 02/12/2013 12:36

Also superselectives do not select on Maths ability.

They select on numeracy and the ability to do sums.

All, but the very best primaries don't do Maths and even then only the very basics.

Even GCSE only touches on real mathematics, which is why A level is such a jump.

Bowlersarm · 02/12/2013 12:41

I would have thought that super selective schools would aim for straight A students, therefore a 'B' grade, especially in Maths, is below expectations. The bullying from other pupils is disgraceful though.

And to the poster who says 'thank heavens we have state schools' or words to that effect - oh, the irony.

CaroBeaner · 02/12/2013 12:42

"the deputy head said that friends DD was nearly 16 and should grow up and anyway a B grade in maths is a poor grade for this school."

That's a horrible response from the deputy head.

You can be a genius in English and not 'get' maths. I guess there is no place for the Doris Lessings of the future in the super selective system, then.

And a school that shrugs at and then apparently condones unpleasant teasing of any kind is a shit school, no matter how selective or stuffed with bright kids it is.

Justforlaughs · 02/12/2013 12:46

Realistically, the pressure on both students and teachers to get As at these schools is immense. My brother taught at one, and left because he was so disgusted at the attitude of the head and governors. He has a pupil who wanted to study Art at university and was predicted all As in the relative subjects. However, she had been ill for 6 weeks and was struggling in Maths. He was told that it was very important that she achieved an A*, despite being unwell and having no natural inclination towards the subject. In the "real" world, a C was all she will ever need in that particular subject. DB didn't feel that it was in the best interests of the girl to give her extra lessons and pile extreme pressure on her. He resigned over the incident.

Bumblequeen · 02/12/2013 12:48

It sounds like a very pressured environment.

I left school with no GCSEs grade A-C. I was a bright pupil according to my teachers but the years of bullying took its toll. All my energy went into getting through the day, dealing with depression and having very few friends.

A child's emotional well being is so important.

I retook my GCSEs, went to college and university.

sue52 · 02/12/2013 13:08

Starballbunny, the prediction was for GCSE. Hardly a difficult ask for a child who has managed a place at a superselective. It is a pressurised environment but for every child who can't cope, there are plenty more eager parents pushing their children forward to take their place.

TheBigJessie · 02/12/2013 13:21

Mocking each other's grades is the kind of behaviour that should be stamped down on hard. I cannot stand that kind of sneering.

Right now, at a standard comp near you, there are kids in bottom set year 11 for whom a grade D instead of an E will be an achievement.

That said, if it was our daughter, we'd also be discussing her weak spots with her, to remedy her mathematical issues by June. Grin

ouryve · 02/12/2013 13:28

I'm glad your friend's DD pulled through, OP.

And to those who said the girl needed to grow up, it wouldn't matter if all the children with expected to achieve A* and she was predicted a D. The bullying from other girls is not acceptable and the deputy head's attitude to that bullying even less so.

For the record, I got an E in my mock maths A level and an A in the actual exams. Even the best of us have our wobbles.

persimmon · 02/12/2013 13:29

I failed Maths O-Level and it's never done me a scrap of harm..

I know of a school like this. A friend's DC went there and my friend told me that parents were calling to their children as they crossed the playground "What did you get in the test?!". This was when they were in year 3...

NoComet · 02/12/2013 13:36

And unless the girl in question wants to do A level maths, or perhaps physics or maybe be a DR. a B in maths matters not one jot.

It spoils the schools stats. that's all.

loopylouu · 02/12/2013 14:42

Even 16 years ago when I was at a grammar I was given up on after my mock GCSEs. No one even spoke to me about staying on for A levels. It was like they couldn't wait to get rid of me.

The sad thing is I dis so badly due to the four years of horrific bullying I endured there (well, not that bad, b's and c's in core subjects, but a d in maths as I was in the same class as the main bully so skived maths for almost two years to avoid her) By 15 I had given up and tried to take my own life. Still no one cared or helped. I was just made to feel thick.

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