To ask my MIL not to kiss the baby with a coldsore?

[peanutbutterhoney]

My MIL is visiting. I have a 6 month old and MIL is all over her, hugging and kissing her all the time which of course is fine and quite lovely. But today I have noticed she has quite a big coldsore on the middle of her lip. I remember reading something a few months ago about how the coldsore virus can be very dangerous for young babies (there was a baby who died after his dad kissed him and spread the virus - I know not likely, but still).

So WIBU to ask her not to kiss the baby until the coldsore is gone? I am squirming at the thought of asking because I think it will upset her, but I also don't want the baby to get the virus! Neither me or DH have ever had a coldsore in our lives, so it's not something she would be exposed to otherwise.

Insist now!

Not at all, my mum actively avoids kissing my kids when she has one. As you said it can be dangerous for young babies.

Yanbu at all.

Tell your DH to ask her. Put your foot down.

YANBU at all. It can be really dangerous.

I'd like to hope that your MIL wouldn't kiss your DC knowing how contagious they are. No YANBU at all and it's a perfectably reasonable request to be careful!

YANBU

Whilst you're holding DD/S, I'd say, 'ooh that looks sore, have you tried the compeed patches? I hear they're great, KatoPotato uses them, she still can't go around kissing babies, but she says it helps heal them so much faster'

I had a row with my Dad over this I really upset him but thats better than infecting a baby

DH is away so I can't ask him to do it! Glad I am not over reacting though. Ugh, I feel quite anxious about saying it!

Any tips on how to phrase it, wise ones? She is quite touchy.

read my suggestion above! - say it quickly and confidently, you're showing empathy for the discomfort but saying 'no baby kissing'

You are being perfectly reasonable but you're probably going to have to phrase your request very carefully. Good luck!

I get coldsores. I won't be kissing my own baby when it arrives if I have a sore. Wouldn't wish getting them on my worst enemy!

Tell her about the baby who died, perhaps she doesn't realise how contagious they are.

Could you find the news story and mention it like that. Pretend you were browsing the news in general, stumble upon the story, read it to her and that should be enough to make her stop, that way it's not you asking, it's her making the decision?

My mum and dad don't get cold sores either, but my aunty infected me when I was a baby. They are awful, truly awful and very very infectious.

She must cover the bastard thing with a patch, was her hands, not share towels or cutlery. Please take it from me - coldsores are a hideous thing to suffer from

I did think of trying to just mention the news story offhand but feel like it would be super obvious what I was doing! I think I will just have to be brave and ask in a straightforward manner. I am sure she doesn't realise how harmful it is as I don't think she would do it otherwise.

Oh no now I am feeling paranoid that she might give them to my other 2 DC too! They are older.

Stupid question: can they only spread through kissing on the lips or could they get them from her kissing their cheek or forehead?

Yadddnbu. But how, as a cold sore sufferer, could she not know and want to avoid passing it on??

it can kill. You have to tell her, she probably has no idea. I remember reading a news article about this a couple of months ago. A baby died from organ failure after being infected with the Herpes virus by his dad, who kissed him with a cold sore. The poor father hadn't a clue it was dangerous. I cried over that article.

Just say something like " MIL did you know cold sores can make a baby incredibly ill? Some have died. Please don't kiss the baby at the moment."
Show her the article if she gets all "oh, we never worried about that in my day" on you.

Kotinka, she's staying with us to help out while DH is away. She is here all week which is why I need to tackle it but am massively wary of upsetting her!

YANBU. My mum gets them, I told her. She thought I was being all PFB. .

Explain to MIL in straightforward direct manner as it is serious. If you dress it up or do so in a roundabout way she may think you are being all PFB too and may laugh it off.

I've found that as a new mum it's difficult to speak up re certain things but there are times when it is a must. This is one of those.

sleepless, that's the story i am thinking of. It was heartbreaking. I has no idea how dangerous it was before reading that story, which is why I think she might not either.

yanbu at all
I agree it is a serious matter