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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my cats are bastards

30 replies

FTRsMammy · 07/10/2013 22:02

So I spent 5 hours last night prepping DSs bedroom for decorating, sugar soaping all paintwork, sanding what needed to be sanded, stripping walls and most importantly glossing the door and window sill.
Now my cats (in particular the kitten) have form for bedroom break ins so there's a little latch on the door that we fasten when we're out if the house so they can't get in.
This morning I took DS to school and when I got back the door was open, there was bloody cat hair stuck to the paint in the door frame and cat paw prints on the window sill.
So AIBU or are they bastards?

OP posts:

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 07/10/2013 22:06

YANBU

My cat is also a bastard and he'd do this too given half the chance.

Instead he took the opportunity to lick the last of the butter whilst my crumpets were in the toaster. I am not happy.

I am however going to have the last laugh in the morning when handing him to the vet for the snip!

ICameOnTheJitney · 07/10/2013 22:07

YANBU but you should have KNOWN they'd do this. It's deliberate of course. They knew you tried to keep them out...next time, leave the door wide open, place a bowl of something tempting in there and all they'll do is give you a shitty look and go to the neighbour's house.

Original poster

FTRsMammy · 07/10/2013 22:12

charlie that is beyond reproach fancy eating the last of the butter, your crumpets we're ruined!
ICameOn they're house cats, the older two are genuinely no trouble even though they're only 2 so not very old themselves but the little one (or the furry terrorist as she's known to myself and DH) is a total bastard and she delights in it

OP posts:

gordyslovesheep · 07/10/2013 22:13

my boy cat jumped up on the counter the other day and dropped WET CAT FOOD into my cup of tea - he is a shit

Twilightsparklesmama · 07/10/2013 22:16

Me and DH got married 2 days before kitty sparkle was born

Original poster

FTRsMammy · 07/10/2013 22:21

Ah Gordy he really is a shit, poor you

OP posts:

Original poster

FTRsMammy · 07/10/2013 22:22

Twilight that's good, it would be awful to be an illegitimate kitty

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 07/10/2013 22:24

My cat is plotting my demise.

foslady · 07/10/2013 22:26

My little shit darling cat did this too me in my front room - painted the skirting boards and moved the sofa back ready for the carpet to be replaced the next day (fitter was going to help me shift them). The next morning we moved the sofa to find my sparking white skirting looked filthy thanks to a lovely section of black cat hair in it......

Spikeytree · 07/10/2013 22:26

My girl cat was fast asleep shut in the other room as I painted. I finished the window sill and then disappeared behind the sofa to paint the skirting boards. When I emerged later all I could see were white gloss paw prints all over the wooden TV stand. She had somehow sneaked in and then spent the rest of the day giving me dirty looks and scratching me as I attempted to get the gloss paint off her feet. Every so often she would stick her foot out and shake it. I had to re-paint the window sill and strip down and varnish the TV stand.

Cats.

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 07/10/2013 22:26

I know FTR!

I tried spreading them with soft cheese but it just wasn't the same at all.

Luckily it was before the midnight deadline for his GA tomorrow. The fact he can't tell time has foiled his plan to keep his dangly bits!

Dancergirl · 07/10/2013 22:29

I've got a bastard cat too. Managed to catch and kill a fucking squirrel this morning. Thought she had disposed of the body but no, she hid it under dd1's desk. Lucky I found it before she came home from school.

murasaki · 07/10/2013 22:31

I refer you to my soup/cat thread in chat. A summary:

Lionel is in massive disgrace.

I'd left a pot of soup on the hob to cool after lunch, came in, and decided to clear up. So put the hoover on. Big mistake, huge, as L then decided to leap up to the top of the cupboards taking the soup pot out as he jumped.

It went fucking everywhere. I mean everywhere. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, cupboards, me, (not him, the furry arsehole), everything is covered in spinachy goodness.

My walls are dingy green, no matter how hard i scrub, and I nearly fell off the chair trying to reach the ceiling.

I am apoplectic, and he is sitting two metres away washing his arse.

grrrr...

zower · 07/10/2013 22:32

cats sre bastards. the beautiful bastards we'd love to be.

murasaki · 07/10/2013 22:35

That's true. If I could loaf around all day playing, on drugs, with nice food, having my shit picked up for me, not having to work and snoozing in comfy places, I would.

Sadly, I have to go to work to facilitate the above for the furry nightmares.

murasaki · 07/10/2013 22:36

Also, they have better hair

edam · 07/10/2013 22:37

Love all these but especially the soup-knocker-overer.

Mine tries to take me out every time I got to the top of the stairs- he's always there, waiting for the perfect moment to swipe so I will plummet to my doom. He's also ripped up all the carpet outside my bedroom (because I shut him out when I go to sleep, otherwise he keeps waking me up). He's clawed several bannisters to destruction. And has a habit of leaving headless mice out for us to step on in the morning.

Apart from all that he's lovely...

YouCantBeSerious · 07/10/2013 22:38

My cat decided to stretch out his claws on the blackout blind I was trimming to size. Now it's more like starlight than blackout.

Binkyridesagain · 07/10/2013 22:39

What do you expect? did you make sure they had all they needed? did you make sure that your services were not required?

They are the masters of the house and you neglected them, you should think yourself very very lucky that their revenge has only been mild.

YouTheCat · 07/10/2013 22:39

True. My cat has never had a bad hair day.

murasaki · 07/10/2013 22:41

Mild? MILD? I had a green ceiling yesterday. And walls. And a window.

I have learnt my lesson, and bow to our furry overlords.

Original poster

FTRsMammy · 07/10/2013 23:29

Thank you all you have cheered me up. At least now I know bastardry does not only reside at my house, it's a bloody epidemic!!!
And at naughty Lionel

OP posts:

thebody · 07/10/2013 23:33

my cats don't fucking do controlled miaowing.

fuckers just keep it up. I was up twice last night. I am too old for this now. my youngest child is 13.!!!!! I should sleep.

SomethingOnce · 07/10/2013 23:34

My furry bastard failed to piss within the litter tray this morning, and instead directed a jet of piss right over the side, all over the floor. And then gave me a bad look!

Bastard.

ClaraOswald · 07/10/2013 23:36

All cats are bastards.

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