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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think just fucking do it, and not have to ask/remind every bloody night?

91 replies

jimijack · 07/10/2013 19:08

DH.
He bathes the baby each night but without fail I have to ask or remind him to do it because he is Sat on his arse watching tv or in he garage or doing something.

It gets later & the baby gets crabby because he is tired & wants his milk & bed, yet I STILL have to fucking say something.

It's 10 minutes of baby free time for me to sort out the dishes or just sit.

Feel like a nag.

OP posts:
NotScared · 07/10/2013 20:03

Is he eating enough solids? Maybe he just needs a drink of water with his meals?

Fairenuff · 07/10/2013 20:04

Tell him to set an alarm on his watch or phone or something.

NotScared · 07/10/2013 20:06

Dh and ds1 can do dishes you could relax with ipod on or something with your little bit of free time.

Original poster
jimijack · 07/10/2013 20:06

Been off food while he has been poorly.
Normally eats well.

OP posts:
Original poster
jimijack · 07/10/2013 20:07

Tis purely comfort in the night.

Won't have a cup or bottle at all.

OP posts:
NotScared · 07/10/2013 20:07

It's been years since I bf but that just seems a lot for a baby that age? Some of it could be thirst, habit or both?

NotScared · 07/10/2013 20:09

I remember letting exdh or whoever trying with the cup with me out of sight. That's how I got dss to use one. If they saw me then obviously they wanted boob!

girliefriend · 07/10/2013 20:09

As he has been ill I will but once he is better maybe look at his routine, I think roughly at 9mos dd was getting maybe 4 or 5 bf max in a day and the rest of the time eating food, drinking water...

Fakebook · 07/10/2013 20:13

I just splurted out my ice cream reading this thread. Oh man! Hahahahaha Grin

(Sorry OP, I have no advice... Maybe set him an alarm or not bathe the baby every night?)

valiumredhead · 07/10/2013 20:15

OP, an alarm reminder is good idea. Must be infuriating for you.

Wrt swearing-I hate the swearing on MN which is ironic as in rl I swear like a trooper BUT I would never be so rude as to detail a thread and tell people not toShock it's up to the individual how they post as long as it's within MN guidelines.

yonisareforever · 07/10/2013 21:15

I don't like bathing babies every night I cant see how it benefits them a great deal. I would think your a nag because I don't think its necessary at all.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 07/10/2013 21:28

Yeah, jimi, you NAG!

yonis, sounds like both DC and DH enjoy it. So, whether you think it's necessary or not, the OP and family seem to want to do it. She is completely reasonable expecting something to be done without having to be put in the position of reminding.

Jimi, I reckon you're donig a fucking great job. Smile

zower · 07/10/2013 21:31

why do you have to bath the baby every night? i did it once every few weeks. its soooooooo boring and such a faff to have to do this every day. no wonder your DP "forgets"!

valiumredhead · 07/10/2013 21:33

I always did bath bottle bed from the word go,I do like a nice routineGrin

NandH · 07/10/2013 22:37

pink ... people come on here to vent, if swearing is part of that then so be it, would you rather read it on an internet forum or hear it stood in the middle of morrisons/tesco/co-op/Asda/waitrose/sainsburys/lidl/aldi?...thought not.

Op, 10mins is not good enough, my p was like this, I went out for day when I couldn't take anymore (2 under 2's)... p realised that day it is not easy and has been much more helpful and appreciative since :)

NandH · 07/10/2013 22:45

I bathe my 8month old every night because he loves it, maybe op's baby loves it too? Why does it matter how many bathes a baby has?... op isn't asking for bathing frequency advice :-/

Sunnysummer · 07/10/2013 23:05

Definitely not okay to have to remind him. Can you ask him at a calm time (maybe a weekend), tell him how it makes you feel and ask HIM to make a plan?

Agree about the feeding every two hours.

Pinknasturtium - swearing can be rude. However, what you did is to join in with somebody else's conversation in order to tell them that you disapprove of them. When that conversation was by a stressed and upset young mother. And you don't need to be a grandmother to have enough life experience to know how rude that is. Howpfully mumsnet will be an education in this way, as well as helping to communicate that now we like to think of men as at least as good as we are, and therefore a man who remembers to go to work every day should be able to remember how to pour a bath.

mrsspagbol · 07/10/2013 23:14

^^ Sunny Grin

oscarwilde · 07/10/2013 23:58

Option A) borrow his phone (only works with smart phone) and set up calendar reminders with noisy alerts
18.25 Time to Run the Bath
18.30 Bathtime
18.35 Ahem?
18.40 BATHTIME!!!!
18.45 Time to Fucking Bath the Baby!!
19..00 Daily Appraisal, a practical Demo (attachment of Hoover to your sensitive areas in order to simulate overtired and VERY hungry baby)

oscarwilde · 08/10/2013 00:00

Option B Go straight to 19.00 option and add teeth

If you're lucky he'll see the funny side of the multiple alerts.... Grin

urtwistingmymelonman · 08/10/2013 07:01

its pretty obvious to me that he is just a lazy git.
he doesn't need reminding.
he knows that he needs to do this every night.
he is just hoping that one day you will turn around a say 'don't bother anymore,i'll just do it my bloody self'.
cant believe the naivety of some posters who are excusing this man by saying'oh men are just forgetful'
or 'men are just clueless about babies'.
really?
wake up and smell the coffee!

bigkidsdidit · 08/10/2013 07:18

Every few weeks?? Confused I do nightly too, he gets all the sick and milk out of his neck and we have fun splashing about.

This thread has really made me laugh Grin

Hissy · 08/10/2013 07:26

Isn't it funny that apparently we need a lesson on manners from someone who specifically joined and went to the trouble to come and tell OFF the OP?

That's rude right there.

While we're at it pink, many of us are battling with undoing the harm the generation that came before us did to us, in terms of gender roles, relationships and parenting. In many ways, what this generation has learned is how NOT to do it, by looking at how it was done before us.

You joining Netmums may be better for us, womankind you.

OP - tell him you're not his mother, that he baths the baby at 7 and that HE needs to set his alarm if he struggles to remember.

urtwistingmymelonman · 08/10/2013 08:18

well said hissy.

BillyGoatintheBuff · 08/10/2013 08:30

I think sometimes my dh just doesn't get why I want something done according to 'the routine' but it's because it just makes life easier as you don't end up with an over-tired baby. I guess your dh is like this too. I dont really know the perfect solution!! I think explaining this to him in a non stressy annoyed way is one way to go about it.