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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bitterly disappointed in my DW

90 replies

MDK · 07/10/2013 15:32

She says it's just for laughs and doesn't really mean anything to her but after years together, sharing our laughter and love it appears that she's had enough and moved on.

She's registered on a very similar forum to Mumsnet, with a very similar name. If it was another man I could cope, but this.. words fail me.

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 08/10/2013 21:53

Hmm. I've never been on NM but am intrigued......is it ok to go over there solely with the intention of getting kicked out again? I'm feeling a bit antsy today after a colleague (who i've known a week) stroked my arm and called me babe......

Bogeyface · 08/10/2013 22:01

I think the LTB crew are being a bit harsh.

There is no reason why this mixed marriage shouldnt work as long as they iron out the ground rules now.

Is Hun acceptable or not? Is your childs life being tickered ok by you? You need to consider what you think is important and compromise on the rest.

If she refuses to compromise then maybe consider counselling or contacting NH Anon, they are very supportive to the friends and family of those who have fallen by the wayside.

Remember, she may come out of this on her own but she has to hit rock bottom first. It may be that the day she puts a ticker on her bowel movements is the day realises "Enough". Give her time and keep talking. :)

Bogeyface · 08/10/2013 22:02

Nottalotta if punching said person in the face is not an option then yes, get the fuck over to fucking NM and fucking fuck them off, the fuckers :o

Shaky · 08/10/2013 22:08

Oh dear.

I went there once. It hurt my eyes and all the moving emoticons gave mé a headache.

Finola1step · 08/10/2013 22:32

It's ok OP. You are entitled to feel the way you do. Only you can know how your wife's betrayal has made you feel. Only you can decide what's best for you in the long run. Counselling may help.

I'm off to have a quick peek at the other side

Finola1step · 08/10/2013 22:42

I'm back. I had a look at the sparkly side. Your worst fears are confirmed OP.The first thing I saw was ... "Wine o'clock: Is drinking in front of your children harmful?". I clicked on the thread but could barely make out the words. The screen appeared to be covered in kisses, frilly banners and photos of children posing. There was a holiday countdown for a holiday in 9 months time!

If your wife is there, get her out now!

Grennie · 08/10/2013 23:03

There are a small group of rebels there. Maybe she has gone on the site so she can be one of the "cool rebel kids". Easy to achieve there, much harder here.

MrsWembley · 08/10/2013 23:19

Oh my god, OP, you poor, poor thing!!Shock

Grennie · 08/10/2013 23:57

You know lots don't have tickers. Look in the wine house and the top thread at the moment is about protitution. Most of the posters on there do not have tickers. But the level of debate IMO is lower than a similar discussion would be here.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/10/2013 00:00

I'm amazed that so many MN ers are risking a trip to the other side! Don't you realise you're playing with fire? Just because Stonehaven escaped and made a full recovery doesn't mean that everyone will be so lucky. Don't risk it! Better safe than sorry.

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:01

Aaawww it is warm and fuzzy over there. And great on those days when you feel so tired, your brain is no longer working.

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:05

Is it your DW who has started the thread there about how she is so fed up of her DP, she would be better of becoming a lesbian?

piratecat · 09/10/2013 00:08

screenshots. and don't let on you know just yet.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/10/2013 00:08

Don't try to tempt me, Grennie - I'm made of sterner stuff than that.

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:09

It is a serious thread! And a few are agreeing. I predict pms flying between them before the night is out.

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:10

I am almost tempted to post an encouraging comment :)

CointreauVersial · 09/10/2013 00:12

I've never even visited the dark side, but now....ooooooh....I'm tempted. Just a little look, nothing serious, no-one needs to know, it'll be our little secret........

BillyBanter · 09/10/2013 00:13

While there are some couples with such diverse interests who make it work, I'm afraid your future looks bleak. Longitudinal studies show that mixed forum partnerships involve more judginess, divisiveness and ultimately divorce.

I hate to be harsh but cut your losses now. Cruel to be kind.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/10/2013 00:14

Don't do it!

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:14

I won't tell anyone Cointreau.

There is a thread about mumsnet where the OP says it is nasty here. And then there are lots of posters who are also keen MNs defending mumsnet.

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:15

"If you talk b@||@£K$ somebody, or maybe many bodies, will tell you on Mumsnet.

Netmums seems a bit wet and drippy by comparison. You can't swear and have to be nice over here and this whole site looks like a My Little Pony has eaten a mouldy rainbow and vomited on it. Give me the rough, Swarfega scented fishwives of Mumsnet any day"

I like how you can like comments on netmums. Wish they did that here.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/10/2013 00:22

Cointrouversial Be strong! You know, in your heart, it's a false step. See how it's completely destroyed the Op's marriage. These wild, irrational longings never lead anywhere good!

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:25

Nah. One quick peek never did any harm. It's not like you are actually signing up as a member.

Just a quick peek.

Bettercallsaul1 · 09/10/2013 00:29

CointreauVersial sorry, spelt name wrong. Silly tablet. (But my advice remains the same!)

Grennie · 09/10/2013 00:31

Just a quick peek...