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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious at doctor

78 replies

MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 12:11

My 4 week old little boy has had a massive change in behaviour. Screaming in pain, not settling or sleeping well and isn't himself so I took him to see the GP thinking it might be wind or silent reflux.
I can tell he really needs something to help, he has changed completely.

It seems that because I am a young mum at 19 she fobbed me off and insinuated I'm not coping!! She asked if I had help at home, and then asked if my mum works which suggests she thinks I need my mum here 24-7?!
I can't imagine her asking anyone older that Hmm

I am coping fine, it's plain to see he isn't himself and is in pain but because he was peaceful when at the doctors I am a shit young mum. Hmm
Therefore when I ask for help, I get fobbed off because I can't take care of a baby clearly!

OP posts:
pointythings · 07/10/2013 15:09

I'd be looking into a sling for him so that you can carry him around upright after feeds and still have hands free - it has lots of other benefits besides reducing the effects of reflux, such as the comfort of him being close to you. It's likely to settle him during the day and if they sleep well during the day they tend to sleep better at night too.

If you do get a reflux diagnosis it's worth looking into wedge mattresses as they can really help, and of course there's always medication (though if your DS is BF getting it into him may be tricky)

Usually (but not always) reflux resolves itself when you introduce solid food.

All the very best, OP. Flowers

PenelopePipPop · 07/10/2013 15:10

(OH sorry in case it wasn't obvious that was directed at Peppi not you MamaPingu!)

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 15:30

A sling might be an idea!
I've had him upright asleep on my chest while I'm sat up, and I've just put him down in a bouncy chair he's got which sits him up a little so I'm going to see if it works!

Going to make his Moses basket slanted for him so he isn't flat on his back Smile

And don't worry I knew it wasn't aimed at me! Grin

OP posts:
LadyRabbit · 07/10/2013 15:35

YANBU OP, and I second those that say trust your instincts. Any decent GP, or any kind of doctor for that matter, will listen carefully to what you instinctively feel isn't right. And your age is irrelevant, there's no reason a new mum at 39 would be any better at reading their baby than a 19 yr old.

Keep going back, insist on being listened too and stand your ground and good luck. Do you have anyone else (as in another adult, partner, mum dad etc.,) you could take with you who will vouch for baby's discomfort? As much to give you a bit of moral support while going to the GP.

tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 15:37

If you roll up a blanket and put it under the mattress of the moses basket it will prop the end up.

Also pop a little blanket at the feet to stop him sliding off.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 15:41

Yeah I think taking my mum or dad might be a good idea tbh! Because of them being older they'd probably be taken more seriously. They can see there's something wrong, they've had children themselves so they remember this not being right. Where as me and my partner are first timers and young so maybe not so convincing!

I am determined to get this boy sorted Smile he doesn't stir when he's more upright so I'm thinking it's reflux, I hope that he gets diagnosed soon as I want my happy little boy back! Then he can go back to kicking his legs all happily on the floor haha Smile he's a right active little bugger for his age Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 15:42

Thanks for the tip tinyturtletim!
I'd have had him sliding about, wouldn't have thought to stuff with blankets Smile

OP posts:
CrazyOldCatLady · 07/10/2013 15:52

If he's been fine till now, it could be an ear infection rather than reflux. Ear infections are sorer when they're lying down. Both of mine had very obvious reflux pretty much immediately.

My GP would have asked about support as well, having a newborn is tough and isolating and I think every GP should make a point of making sure new mums aren't alone too much, regardless of age.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 15:52

He is stirring a bit and I can hear kind of gulping and he's slopping his mouth, is that the acid?

He just did a little scream and nodded off again, he seems better in this position but not as good as on my chest

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 07/10/2013 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 16:17

You' need some infant gaviscon, this will make him constipated so ask for some lactoluse as well.

Give it a week and if you see no difference go back and ask for some ranitidine, it is an ant acid which will help him greatly.

Keep him up right after a feed, also cut feeds to little and often as big feeds swish in the belly causing morr reflux.

You need to go in informed,

Does he arch his back after a feed?

Is there anything crusty around his mouth ever?

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 16:23

I have finally got in touch with HV who was extremely helpful. She had told me to wait for the surgery to close then call for an emergency appointment and take him in tonight rather than wait.

I have got a list of symptoms together to make sure I don't forget anything! She agreed that it does sound like reflux and to tell them a HV has agreed to back up my argument.

He does arch his back at times yes. To me it seems like he comfort feeds a lot to soothe the burning, then when he's starving and eats more the arching starts then.

Can't wait to get him sorted, I've had to put him back on my chest to sleep, don't think his chair is quite upright enough. Want my happy boy back! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 16:25

There is crusty milk around his mouth sometimes
And he has brought up a little bit of milk today

OP posts:
tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 16:30

That is acid round his mouth.

Make sure you really stress the back arch, the spit up and thr comfort feeding.

You will need to make a routine of feeding somehow (easier said than done I know)

My dd was very ill with it she had an mri scan and an eeg as they thought she was having fits from it.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 16:41

I will pm you ASAP to show you what I've prepared if that's ok? Shouldn't be too much longer til I'm free to!

OP posts:
tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 17:06

Of course no problem

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 17:46

I've sent it Smile

OP posts:
notundermyfoof · 07/10/2013 18:01

I'm glad you've got a good hv on your side Smile

Yanbu about the doctor, I waw in my late 20s and early 30s when I had my dcs but I look much younger and I sometimes found hcps spoke down to me like they assumed I knew nothing. It could just be a coincidence but they always seemed to change the way they spoke to me when they found out my age Hmm

I hope the doctor is more helpful now and your ds gets the right treatment.

barbsb · 07/10/2013 18:05

Yep page 1 of the peds book was " always investigate the mothers gut feeling/instinct ", I have seen doctors admit children due to "maternal concern" and just for observation as the mothers concerns were taken on board

i dont think all gps are crap, they are not all brilliant either

barbsb · 07/10/2013 18:07

all the best with the baby , i agree with the slings, they are excellent

Birnamwood · 07/10/2013 18:12

One of my gp's told me silent reflux didn't exist Hmm I very nearly punched him there and then! Ds1 had it and I had to battle the system to get him seen (eventually going private) and when ds2 was showing the same symptoms I took him to this GP who came out with that gem. I walked out of his surgery and immediately made and appointment to see a senior partner, who took me seriously, treated my baby, and we didn't look back. Bad GP left the practice under a cloud shortly after.

Keep to your guns op, they'll listen eventually and then your gorgeous little baby will be happy again :)

humphryscorner · 07/10/2013 18:17

*c

humphryscorner · 07/10/2013 18:20

congratulations op !!!
That's sounds just how my dd was, HV and GP sent me packing. I did a lot of research on it and found that having my DD lay on an up slant helped massively !

Good luck x

WireCat · 07/10/2013 18:27

Good luck op. Silent reflux is the pits, my youngest had it.

MisselthwaiteManor · 07/10/2013 18:39

You sound like you have a plan, hopefully he will be a happy little boy again soon. Mine had awful reflux to the point where we were admitted to hospital at 8 days old because she hadn't kept a thing down and at 17 weeks she is much, much better so it does improve quite quickly as they grow, thankfully.