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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious at doctor

78 replies

MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 12:11

My 4 week old little boy has had a massive change in behaviour. Screaming in pain, not settling or sleeping well and isn't himself so I took him to see the GP thinking it might be wind or silent reflux.
I can tell he really needs something to help, he has changed completely.

It seems that because I am a young mum at 19 she fobbed me off and insinuated I'm not coping!! She asked if I had help at home, and then asked if my mum works which suggests she thinks I need my mum here 24-7?!
I can't imagine her asking anyone older that Hmm

I am coping fine, it's plain to see he isn't himself and is in pain but because he was peaceful when at the doctors I am a shit young mum. Hmm
Therefore when I ask for help, I get fobbed off because I can't take care of a baby clearly!

OP posts:
StillSlightlyCrumpled · 07/10/2013 13:06

It isn't terrible advice at all. Of course sometimes we get it wrong, but my instinct definitely saved my sons life. Actually my instinct not being taken seriously earlier in his life has changed his life negatively forever.

OP rant away, & if you are still worried go back. Lots of babies have trouble with lactose intolerance or reflux etc and it is miserable for both of you. Call your hv maybe?

WowOoo · 07/10/2013 13:12

To make you feel better my GP asked me lots of questions about my family and support network when I visited with a newborn and I am far, far older than you.Smile
I was thinking - what is this? I'm here about my baby, not me. I wondered was it because I'm an older mum!

Health Visitors may be able to give you advice. They recommended baby massage for me. Google it and try it. It can't do any harm.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 13:48

I can't believe I've been told to get a grip for referring to myself as a young mum. What a load of shit!! 19 is young, apologies for not being younger, jesus!!

Thankyou for all your advise to you lot who are reasonable human beings! I am going to phone my health visitor and get her advice, then see another doctor if needs be.

I feel like it might be silent reflux really because it's when he lays down be starts screaming. He hasn't been feeding or sleeping right for over a week now. I was thinking it was. A growth spurt at first but it's not easing off.

Does anyone have experience with silent reflux? Any tell take signs?

He grunts a lot, makes a lot of noises in his throat, and seems to be comfort feeding to soothe his throat?

OP posts:
tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 13:54

My dd was in hospital for over a month because of her silent reflux, if you would like me to arm you with all the information to go to the drs with send me a pm.

LittleMissWise · 07/10/2013 13:58

I think you're being over sensitive tbh.

I saw the GP a couple of weeks ago, he asked how I am coping and how much support I have because DH is away for four months. I am 42 and my kids are teens. I just took it as he cared.

midwifeandmum · 07/10/2013 14:07

Id definitely see a different gp hun, i agree that ur mothers working hours are nothing to do with him/her. Its a pity that ur signed off from mw now. As we would of came out and seen u at home. If u get no satisfaction with different gp, go see ur hv at baby clinic.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:11

I understand asking about how much support as you need to make sure mums are coping. But I can't see how my mum working or not is relevant. It just really offended me as all I was trying to do was help my son and I went away feeling stupid and like a bad mum!

I'm coping fine, I just can see he isn't right anymore. He's gone from sleeping 3-4 hours to barely sleeping an hour and he's struggling to stay awake for feeds

OP posts:
midwifeandmum · 07/10/2013 14:12

My dd2 was born at 34 wks and had reflux due to her being fed through a nasogastric tube. I took her to nhs 24 after another restless horrible night and gd said it was reflux and prescribed paediatric gaviscon to mix into her bottle feeds. It worked well and within a week she was more settled

Dont listen to some people huni, they only come on here to spout abuse and make themselves feel better

Best of luck
Zoe

Pm me if u want to ask anymore without getting abuse by ppl who need to get a grip lol

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:13

Also good idea about recording sleep times etc to kind of use as evidence I never thought of that.
It'd be easier for them to see it on paper.

And I will pm you tinyturtletim thankyou Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:14

Thankyou midwife and mum I will pm you too shortly once he's a bit more settled. Thankyou ever so much Smile

OP posts:
pointythings · 07/10/2013 14:15

Does keeping your LO upright for half an hour/45 minutes after feeds help at all? It it's reflux, that should make some difference.

The sleep pattern you're describing is not normal, you should definitely get a second opinion and not be treated dismissively.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:20

He does seem to like being sat up, it seems when I lay him down after a while he either screams, or grunts and squirms around then eventually cries. I had him upright sleeping on my chest earlier for half an hour and he didn't stir

OP posts:
midwifeandmum · 07/10/2013 14:20

Your more than welcome huni. I understand what ur going thru, everytime i put dd2 down she would scream blue murder. Its very distressing to see.

Thats gd advice pointy, try sitting her up for a while after feeds that can help
Pm me anytime

MisselthwaiteManor · 07/10/2013 14:21

Film him during a feed on your phone and show it to the GP. Try and get a referral to a paed, IME GPs are great but the ones I've seen haven't been massively knowledgable about babies. The paed I saw was much, much more helpful. Have you tried infant gaviscon?

MisselthwaiteManor · 07/10/2013 14:22

Prop his cot up on books, get a sling so you can hold him upright for daytime naps, this ends with sick filled cleavage until you get the timing right but frees up your hands so you don't have to hold onto the baby all day. I spent my entire day holding DD upright when she was tiny

PeppiNephrine · 07/10/2013 14:28

huni? Have I wandered into nethuns?

HeffalumpTheFlump · 07/10/2013 14:30

Some of the replies on this thread are disgusting.

OP yanbu. The issue isn't really that the gp asked you if you are coping, the issue is that he dismissed your concerns about your son. Yes they need to check that new mums are coping as many aren't, but there is no excuse for not addressing the OP's issues with her sons health.

Definitely follow the advice of the more helpful posters on this thread. You know your son and know if something is not right.

PeppiNephrine · 07/10/2013 14:33

Must be. Seems the only allowable answer is: U no ur bubz hun.

Hmm
mignonette · 07/10/2013 14:34

I agree with Heffalump. Disgusting bitchy replies. Shame on those responsible.

Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:34

My mums instinct saved my life at around 12 months old, turned out I was extremely ill with pneumonia. It was late at night and my mum insisted we went to A&E, my dad said to wait til morning. They went in that night and the doctor said I would most probably have died if they'd have waited until the morning as it was that urgent.

I'd rather be over cautious and be told I was wrong than ignore it and risk anything for my little boy

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaPingu · 07/10/2013 14:36

Peppi you're a right laugh hun

OP posts:
tinyturtletim · 07/10/2013 14:36

peppi do yourself a favour hun and fuck off. Lots a luvs xxx

cocoleBOO · 07/10/2013 14:43

Stop being so fucking bitchy! Jesus Hmm.

Definately try to see another GP, some are good, some are useless.
Good luck.

PenelopePipPop · 07/10/2013 14:50

Oh FFS.

Yes this is Mumsnet where we are allowed to say Cunt and don't call each other hun. Yes this is AIBU where people come to maul each other in some kind of weird anonymous lion's den.

MamaPingu posted because her DS is 4 weeks old (that is 4 weeks) and very unsettled and in her post of 13:48 she asked for advice which a lot of people kindly gave her. This may be the wrong forum for that kind of thing. And it may be expressing oneself kindly and supportively is not the done thing.

But are you seriously getting a cob on because somewhere in the world some people are prioritising making a 4 week old baby comfortable over having an argument with you?

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 07/10/2013 15:03

"Actually, each time I have had a mothers instinct I havebeen spot on, and one ooccasion I saved my daughter's life"

My instinct that something was badly wrong saved my son's life. The idea that a parent might know their child better than someone who is seeing them for the first time isn't terrible advice, it's common sense.

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