To be a bit upset by DH's Facebook status?

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

He's just posted one of those images with a little verse. The verse is 'nobody sees my sadness. Nobody sees my tears. Nobody sees my pain. They only see my mistakes.' I'm quite upset by this. I asked him if that's how he feels, and he said he only posted it 'for a laugh'. He's not very good at talking about his feelings - in fact he point blank refuses to, so I'm left wondering. Our relationship isn't perfect but I thought we were OK, but now I feel quite anxious.

AIBU? I have a non sleeping 8MO and am exhausted and emotional, so perhaps I am.

So he reposted a chain mail type post is that right?

Is it just one of those "inspirational" pics or statuses that he shared? Its quite strange otherwise..

Strange thing to share if you feel no connection with it.

Reply to the statues, saying you know where I am.

Not sure, a lot of things people post on fb are bunkum, but like you say, he could be trying to tell you something.

It's not something I'd post because I would think people would presume that's how I feel, and I don't.

I would only share/like something I don't mind other people seeing me associated with IYSWIM?

A cat meme or text typo picture you'd maybe post 'for a laugh', but not something saying you're in pain and nobody understands you.

Yes it's something he's re posted from someone else's wall.

He's had loads of his friends ask if he's OK

'Reply to the statues, saying you know where I am.'

You mean play out their relationship online and let everyone have gawp at their dirty washing??

Don't do it OP

'He's had loads of his friends ask if he's OK'

That's not reposting it for a laugh is it?

Has he answered any of them?

That would be a punch in the face if he's OK saying it to fb randoms but not to you.

Could he not want to put further pressure on you if you're not sleeping well?

Is he always an attention seeking dick ?

I couldn't be married to someone who reposted passive aggressive bollocks like that

I would be highly pissed off actually. Its bad form to repost something like that "for a laugh".. for a bucket o' attention mores the like.

What you need to establish is did he post it for the picture? I think I've seen a version of this one with a fairly cute vaguely funny animal image, which together with the poem, is obviously meant to be lighthearted and amusing. If he's a bit of a doh-brain he may have clicked and posted without really thinking about it

Is your husband 12? Surely if he wants someone to talk to, even if it's not you, then this is a terrible way of going about it. Unless there is something really wrong with him that you are inexplicably not seeing, there is no need to be so self-indulgent and attention seeking in a public arena.

Also, the implied criticism that all you do is point out his mistakes instead of offering him a listening ear is a pretty low blow.

I have trouble saying how I feel to anyone, but I know posting I was struggling on fb at the same time as saying nothing's wrong to DH when he asks, would be attention seeking (and not in an OK way).

It'd also be a huge dig at him as there are only so many people in his life that would apply to.

It's the adult man equivalent of teen girls 'y r there so many haterz' and 'ppl shud say wat they meen' status' that get loads of 'u ok hun xxxx' 'pm me babes'

Agent he's answered with "I'm OK how are you?" to the first one, which sounds quite chatty to me.

DoJo I didn't know if it would make me sound like a really horrible person to say that I felt criticised by it, but I do. He is not 12, though does frequently act like it.

There is no picture with the verse, it's just the words with some of the text in different colours / fonts.

I don't know if he's just not wanting to put more pressure on me, as he's never been able to discuss his feelings (his mother agrees with me on this and worries along with me). I try to give him opportunities by saying things like "I've been feeling X lately. How about you?". He usually just shrugs and walks off.

I promise I won't be responding via facebook.

AF

Many a truth in jest...

I have to say as well that I'm also maybe possibly a a tiny bit cryptic in saying I'm struggling to DH, mainly because I find it so hard to say out loud. I'll expect him to remember what I've said the signs are that things aren't going well.

It used to come out in really destructive ways, and even though I've got a handle on that side, it doesn't make saying things any easier.

That would piss me off too. But maybe I'm paranoid as my ex dh left me after starting a relationship with his ex before me (all very Jeremy Kyle) via finding her on facebook!! Before I had any inkling things were ending he was posting all kinds of random shit on facebook and even made himself "single" as a joke apparently.... cue all friends asking if everything was okay etc. About 4 weeks later he told me he didn't love me and moved out.

My now dh and I are on fb but we barely use it except for general photo sharing between family and an occasional humorous post between us.

Either he hates those sorts of things and thought it was funny to repost it or it did resonate with him on some level and he's hopeless at talking about stuff. Or he wanted to talk but didn't want to burden you then forgot to hide it from you..?

What are his fb statuses usually like? You know him better than us.

Post underneath, Me and baby have made a big cuddle for you and it's waiting for you downstairs. It has glitter!

Or tell him that you will gladly listen to his woes if he wants to talk but you can't see his poxy tears if he hides them.

Maybe don't say poxy.

Oh, going by your second post he maybe thought it funny.

Is he old enough to be on Facebook?

Billy he usually just posts things like "on the way home from work been a long day", I've never seen him post anything deep and meaningful. Like Fairy, we mostly use it for photo sharing.

Fairy you have me worried now. He is friends with his ex on facebook.

Yy - attention seeking knob

Yy - passive aggressive twunt