in thinking that 3 and 4 year olds wake up at night

[TokenGirl1]

Please can you solve an argument my dp and I are having. Our kids keep waking at night and it's doing our head in and we are trying to find a solution. Dp says he doesn't know anyone whose kids wake on an almost nightly basis. I've talked to mums that I know and they say that their kids do wake up. All of you parents out there, please tell me if your under 5s sleep through all night every night 7pm to 7am?

My 3 year old wakes frequently - dropped teddy, covers fallen off, sitting up & confused, bored of sleep...

My 5 year old wakes up once or twice a week - bad dreams, needs the toilet, bored of sleep.....

We've just come to the conclusion we weren't blessed with sleepers, and we will need matchsticks redbull for the foreseeable.

DS has slept for 11.5-13 hours straight (apart from 1 or 2 niights when ill) since he was 12 weeks old. He is now 5.

DD used to wake once a night every few weeks until she was about 14 months. She is now 3.

I don't know anyone with kids beyond the age of 2 who regularly wake during the night.

I really sympathise with you, that must be so hard. It's one thing for a few weeks, but for years :(

Sorry OP, I only read the initial post. Didn't mean to be smug/unhelpful at all.

I think it's good that you are sharing it and that DH should at least do Saturday nights so you get one unbroken night a week.

Also if they share and you've recently moved and DS has night terrors, it's not surprising that they are disturbed.

My ds sleeps through from 8 to 7pm and he is 4. My dd is 2 & is a bad sleeper, she sleeps in intervals of 2/3 hrs a night and then wakes until I settle her. Each child is different and it is a myth that they all sleep through.

My middle DC didn't sleep through the night til she was 12 years old. But it is only is a bother til they can't occupy themselves in the night so you might be approaching the end of the worst bit. From 5 yrs onwards she would read a book til she dropped off again, or we left a radio playing softly for her to listen to.

Some people are just made that way perhaps... My mother has never slept through the night in one go.

I had 4-3 were terrible sleepers.
Until they hit their teens

The one that did sleep will sleep through anything, even to this day, thunderstorms, fire alarms, an earthquake when in Japan(he was surprised to wake up quite a way from his futon)

We tried to be as boring as possible when they woke up. No putting on main light, soft calm voices.
If it was for a wet bed we had sleeping mats and sleeping bags on the floor next to the bed.
But some nights, just to get a few more minutes sleep we'd let them in the bed with us, got a bit squashed especially if the dog and cat wanted to join in.

DS is nearly 10, and at least once a week will wake up in the night. He just goes to the loo and back to bed to resettle, so I don't have to get up. But having been a light sleeper since older DD was born (and a heavy sleeper before that, sigh) I still wake up if he stirs out his room. Lucky for me I can roll over and get back to sleep quickly.

I am lucky my DCs never got the idea to try and come into our bed at night. They did get the idea to occupy themselves if they woke up.

I do remember being ill with a bad chest infection once and had gone to sleep during the afternoon at the weekend. DS, then aged about 4-5 and obviously not at school that day, had decided to crawl into bed with me (I never stirred) and DP had been a bit panicky about where he was, not realising DS was there with me until he came in to ask me where DS might be. DP knew he had to be somewhere in the house as the doors were locked. DS was fast asleep, as was I, so DP left us both to it (he told me later).

Back to the OP though, my 2 never woke as late as 7am, until DD reached 13 in the summer, when she suddenly turned teenage and decided sleeping in was great. DS still wakes up anywhere between 6 and 7 am.

YABU if you think all 3-4 year olds wake up in the night. DD was almost 4 when DS was born and always slept through the night. She even somehow managed to sleep through newborn DS's crying through the night.

DS is now 4 and he doesn't wake up at all in the night. I haven't heard of any of his friends waking up in the night, either. Sorry but it is not as normal as you seem to think for a 4 year old to keep waking up in the night.

No wonder you are depressed if you aren't getting a full night's sleep ever and your DP isn't sharing the load at all.

Our two are 5 and 2.6. DS1 sleeps through most nights, although it isn't unusual for us to wake up and some point and find he has crawled in with us. He slept brilliantly from 20 months until he was about 3, 12 hours a night without fail. Overactive brain is the main reason for waking, he sleeps better during term time as a general rule.
DS2 is an awful sleeper, has been since he was born. He now wakes only once most nights, if we are lucky that once is at 5.30 and we've made it through undisturbed until then. Until pretty recently it was often 2am, and he wanted to chat/lie on my head/sing songs about Thomas the Tank Engine.

DH and I both take ADs, I'm sure there is a link!

Oh and most of our friends young children also wake in the night - not every night but a couple of times a week. My Mum tells me that I and my brothers all woke in the night at various times right up until we were 5/6.

IME it is very normal, to the point where I only know one person whose young DCs sleep through every night unless they are ill.

Mine go through spells. The 5yo sleeps through and has for years, but sometimes I hear her awake in the night now, she just amuses herself until she goes back to sleep.

The 3yo goes through little spells of waking up every night for a couple of weeks, and then she grows out of it again. So tonight she has a cough, so if she wakes up with it I'll go in and sleep with her. Then that will happen every night until she is better, and then for a few days, and then she goes back to sleeping through.

I always go and sleep with them. There are two reasons for this. The first is that it wakes them up less if they are in their own beds, and I can go back to sleep quickly.

The other is that if they vomit, I don't want it in my bed. Sorry.

DS is 9 and slept through the night from 1 month old, DD will be 5 in a few weeks and has just started sleeping through most nights, except when she gets up for the loo, but she at least takes herself back to bed quietly now rather than getting up 5-6 times a night like she used to (if she had been my 1st she would definately be an only child!)

With DD we've found a night light and leaving the door and curtains slightly open helps and she has a toy dragon (thanks to a suggestion on here) which keeps away witches, monsters, strangers and 'the bad dreams fairy' and a lavender bag under her pillow which she thinks gives off good dreams (again thanks to someone on here)

Dc1 slept 7-7 every night unless ill from 6 weeks old.
Dc2 slept pretty much 8-6 from about 9 months.
Dc3 is now 3.6 yers old and i can count on one hand the number of nights she has slept through. and the nights she has slept though dc2 has either had a bad dream or wet the bed

I feel your pain - they are all so different though ime.

My 2 year old sleeps 7-7:30 every night and my 6 week old sleeps 10:30-6:30 every night.

My oldest, now 19, didn't sleep through the night until he started school. We laugh about what a little rat he was now but it's not funny at the time

my 2 & 4 yr olds sleep 8- 8 95% of the time. Neither ever get up for a wee, which I find odd given the little one goes every hour in the day! The 5% they just come in with us for a cuddle.

Token, you sound miserable, everything is taking its toll on you and you are both doing sooo much. Sleep, or rather lack of sleep effects everything... More than you think probably! I'm a bit worried about you as you seem really on your last legs.

You need to look after your health and well being, remember the airplane safety message where you have to put your oxygen mask on before putting the masks on your children. What happens if you get so exhausted and ground down you can't carry on? I bet your whole family relies on you holding it together... Im sure your dh is very important as he works so hard for the money & stability that brings, and I'm not dismissing his contribution ... But I bet you are the beating heart of the family, the one that your children rely on for everything and probably you manage everything daily.

Soooo that means looking after number one and giving yourself some TLC. Everything seems better when you get unbroken sleep. I am wondering if you can make this a focus to get the dc sleeping and resettling themselves as much as possible. Tips on here like gro clocks. quick returns to bed etc may help.

I think it probably is quite common, quite normal - your family isn't crazy unusual or odd or to blame in any way. Some kids sleep, some don't. That's the message I see here. But it doesn't matter if it's normal of you are drained and exhausted from it.

My 4 yo wakes at least once a night and usually two or three times he gets up and tries to get in our bed.
We send him back, he needs a wee, his foot is sore, he wants a cuddle....
It is getting better but very slowly. About once a week he sleeps right through but it doesn't seem to matter what we do or how tired he is, he still wakes and gets out of bed.
My 1yo sleeps 7-6 most nights with the occasional 4am wake ups.
Ds was a brilliant sleeper as a baby but got worse when he was about two.

Both ds's, Nearly all the time. Since early on, before being toddlers. Luck. One of those things.

Worms are the only thing which wake mine in the night now! 4 & 6yr old are up between 5:30-6am though. I share your sleep deprived pain.