in thinking that 3 and 4 year olds wake up at night

[TokenGirl1]

Please can you solve an argument my dp and I are having. Our kids keep waking at night and it's doing our head in and we are trying to find a solution. Dp says he doesn't know anyone whose kids wake on an almost nightly basis. I've talked to mums that I know and they say that their kids do wake up. All of you parents out there, please tell me if your under 5s sleep through all night every night 7pm to 7am?

My ds came into my bed every night until he was 5, then stopped waking... Was fine once he came into me by himself... No idea to help, sorry,think it's just individual thing...

Ds, 7 has slept 10/11 hrs a night since he was 6 months old. Only wakes if he's legitimately ill or in pain. Even sleeps through nose bleeds! I've always been very tough with him ref bed times and I wouldn't go to him if he woke for spurious reasons.

DS (5) only stopped getting up in the middle of the night and coming into our bed late last year. It was pretty much every night. Sleeping though the night only started when we moved him from a toddler bed into a full size single. I have no idea whether that was just a coincidence though!

DD1 didn't sleep through regularly until yr2 by which time I had dd2 and ds.

Ds would feed between 12 and 1am dd1 would wake at 3am and dd2 would be up to start the day at 5.30am.

I still have lots of broken nights sleep at the moment as they all seemed to be in a bad sleep pattern. I have solved ds waking by putting a thicker duvet on his bed.

I have two dc (age 2.3 and 3.9) both always been fab sleepers, untill recently. They wake once each almost every night, sometimes one sets the other off. It is exhausting and I do all the get ups and early mornings.

hv has told me it is a phase that they will come out of, I hope it ends soon before I run away for a full week of sleep and life goes back to normal. I'm going to google the tips you've been offered too

DC1 stopped waking to get into our bed at 3. He now sleeps 6:30pm-6am. DC2 is nearly 3 and often still gets into our bed but it's becoming sporadic as he is starting to drop his nap.

Ds is 3.10. I'd say he comes into iur bed about 4 or 5 nights a week. And often tosses and turns and has disturbed sleep.

Sorry my DD is 3.9 and has been sleeping through from 7-7 since she was 14 weeks will only get up during the night when she is poorly.
Hope it gets better for you soon

Thanks for the sympathy and the tips. We've decided to get the book Jamie suggested,get another lullaby dream show and do the blanket thing. We're going to start it in half term so we can share dealing with it. Thank you all for helping us to start to put our relationship back on track.

You poor thing. There is no normal really (as I'm sure this thread shows).
However, as someone who has a 7 yr old who still goes through phases of screaming "mumeeeeee" in the night, I have this advice to try, at random:

Loads of daily excercise. I mean LOADS. School helped my ds a lot, as it was bleedin miles away!(e walk) He slept like a log after starting reception.
A milky drink at about 6 pm (assuming bedtime around 7.30) Horlicks is good.
Or even a little poridge (sp?). I know from experience ds will sleep badly if even a tiny bit hungry.
Plenty of attention during the day. This one is hard when you are knackered, but I think that at times when I am flat out at work, and trying to sneak off and work on my laptop, and neglect ds too much, he wants attention at night (unconsciously I think.)
Tuck them in really well. I tuck ds's duvet right under the mattress when he is asleep, because he is such a kicker/wriggler, and kicks it off/gets cold etc.
Limit TV. It doesn't help with bad dreams.
Be firm when they wake. I am of the opinion that you lavish them with attention in the day, but bedtime is bedtime, and I WILL NOT have a conversation in the middle of the night.
If it is a genuine bad dream, ds is supposed to get up and come into my bed, NOT scream bloody murder, waking me up in a panic, and expect me to come into his room. When he does the "MUMEEEE" thing he gets short shrift and sometimes mild swearing.
I am not prepared to be at his beck and call all night long!

Hope some of my ramblings are helpful!

And ignore the smuggies whose children sleep like angels. I reckon they will get the really vile teen years

Ds1 was about 4 when he slept through
Ds2 was about 2
Dd was sleep trained in nicu
Ds3 was about 4
I was about 7

I never find mn matches up to my and my friends real life experiences when you ask such questions

I think rather than saying its normal I would say it wasn't abnormal

Ha ha ha (hollow laugh)

I have two dc and neither of them have ever slept 7-7. Ever. Even when they were babies they didn't sleep more than 12 hours total in a day.

I reckon they sleep through about 50% of the time, but it goes in phases, so we'll have loads of broken nights followed by a blissful run of sleep.

They are 4 and 7.

One of mine slept through and the other didn't.

Both my DDs (2 and 4) sleep 7-7 every night and have done from tiny babies - sometimes until 8am. dD1 went through a phase of waking up for the toilet, but now takes herself there and back

Mine (4.5 & 2.5) sleep through & have done for about a year. Occasionally there's a bad night, of course.

My 2.5 sleeps 12 to 14 hours a night - but I do know a four year old who still wakes nightly.

Sorry 2 dc's here and both slept through 7-7 from approx 3 months. With the exception of illness we're never woken. I think you either have sleepers or you don't. Mine always have some milk and supper like wheatabix maybe this helps?

I have 23m and 3 and a half year old. The latter often wakes; probably 4 nights out of 7. The 23m old has also just turned into a night waker; she was previously brilliant. We've made things worse by having them in our bed; we just like sleep and don't want to sit for ages waiting for them to drop off, or listen to them crying for yonks. Whenever neither wakes it's very weird.

Sometimes the 3 yo will be led back to bed after toilet or drink, but often he just says 'I want to sleep with you' - as he has quite good bed etiquette we let him. He doesn't have toilet problems (so far!).

I would think it was odd at that age to wake up in the night ! But then again my dd has slept through from 3 weeks

I'm a nanny who has looked after 23 children, all of them slept through the night for 12+ hours from around 3-4 months. Apart from bad dreams, teething, too hot/cold, feeling unwell, wet or dirty nappy or wetting accident etc.

You can get them to sleep through or failing that, play quietly if you want to!

Most of my charges would play quietly in the cot/bedroom from 3-4 months.

My 3 year old sleeps 7pm - 6am. He's done this since he was about 18 months. Sorry.

You need to tackle this if it's making you all miserable. What do you do when they wake up?

yep- DS slept through pretty much every night from age 1ish , a brief flurry of night wakings when he was potty training age 2.4 and then back to solid sleep 7pm - 8am .
He maybe has night terrors/ bad dream once in three months and I guess he has been ill once or twice a year, but i expect an unbroken nights sleep and a broken night is unusual.

I'd say on occasion toddlers wake up but not regularly - it isn't good for them to have broken sleep

DS does not sleep through every night, but he has eczema that wakes him (he scratches it till it is sore then wakes), and occasionally he wakes up coughing due to asthma.
If both of those are under control, and not flared up he generally sleeps through for a good 11 to 12 hours.

DD age 7 has no health issues, but still wakes at least once a week during the night. Usually on the nights when DS is sleeping through!