my reasonable fuse is about to blow

[mirtzapine]

Currently my reasonable fuse is the equivalent of a six inch nail in the fusebox that's glowing red hot.

We've got a AuPair. The cultural differences are tough enough, but the rank stupidity that this idiot brings is breath-taking.

Yesterday, she left the shower running with the showerhead tucked behind the bathtaps. so the water ran down the back of the bath, and into the room below (which is her bedroom). As well as the water damage, it blew the electrics and shorted out her TV and Skybox.

So I reasonable explained that it was wrong, so she tried to argue it wasn't her (she was the last to use the shower). Its not her fault etc. The not accepting responsibility and saying the minimum of sorry - galls me.

There are also lots of other things too, that this thing does to wind me up totally the wrong way. Shortly after her arrival she started taunting my eldest by chanting lazy lazy

Venting is fine.

The clear lack of respect and the nasty attitude to the person who looks after your DCs for pocket money is apparent, I find it hard to believe you act in a kind, friendly, nice manner towards her IRL to be honest.

A lot of us have to work. A lot of us have to find childcare.
I would hope the majority of people have a better attitude towards the people who care for our children.

If sitting in your living room was a step to far, then fire her.
Personally I would have thought taunting your child would have been enough to look for alternative childcare though.

You get what you pay for which i'm sure is not much more than 80 quid a week. I'm surprised many more don't have similar problems ( or perhaps they simply won't admit to them).

I must live on a different planet but - aupairs get paid £80 a week?! Really?

here you've decided some quasi notion

I don't think you know what "quasi" means.

I undertsand why OP is so worked up, and get that they wouldn't say 'thing' or be as rude to her. But if you're this wound up OP don't leave your kids with her.

The taunting is really weird and I'd be worried about what she way saying/doing when I wasn't around. I would book some holiday between you if possible, give Au Pair notice or pay her to leave early and cut your losses. Then I'd focus looking for someone a lot more suitable and qualified to look after children.

What Tantrums said.

Also, I doubt very much that you are as reasonable and respectful as you insist you are. Either you're always this much of an arse or you have some sort of split personality.

And this:
I don't think you know what "quasi" means.

Pay peanuts, get monkeys.

Recruit a professional to care for your kids instead of cutting corners and your bold pressure will drop to normal levels too.

At the end of the last thread you were going to ask her to go.

Blood pressure, sodding ipad.

lol. What a mismatch. Where did you find her, OP?

I started a new thread cos its about my feelings of anger, not about the ongoing disaster. Anyway

Dear Aupair

Whilst we are not termination you for what we consider minor annoyances, these being.

Taunting our 7 year old daughter over and over, by chanting “Lazy Lazy” and causing her to become very upset as our younger daughter copied you and caused her class mates to do it as well.

For keeping the children out past 7pm and not answering your phone, especially as you had not informed us that you are taking then somewhere.

For not putting out the children’s toys for them to play with when getting home from school.

For arriving late at school and not informing us that the children arrived late and have been picked up late and leaving the school to inform us.

For not giving the children adequate meals, biscuits and quavers do not constitute an adequate supper, especially as you chose to eat a spaghetti bolognaise in front of them.

For breaking a grill pan.

For leaving all the lights on over night.

For leaving taps running.

For not answering the phone we supplied when we ring to ask where the children are.

For continuously not cleaning up after yourself or the children.
For leaving the bathroom floor wet after having a shower with wet towels strewn across the floor.

For getting up in the middle of the night and eating an entire 56 nugget pack of Iceland chicken nuggets and leaving the kitchen in a mess.

For not filling out the children’s diary.

For not helping in the morning dressing the children.

Mainly, it is due to leaving the shower running down the back of the bath, causing water damage to the walls and ceiling. As well as shorting the electrics and ruining beyond repair the TV and Skybox we supplied to you for your personal use.

Whilst I accept that in your family home these things may be acceptable, the above are not to us. We have given you clear information as to what is acceptable and not in both written and verbal form. Because of the damage to the fabric of the house, and the cost to replace TV and Skybox. We have elected to give you the requisite notice as per your contract. We will expect you to comply with the duties during the termination period and behave with the respect and civility which we have afforded to you so far.

We would like to take this opportunity to wish you well and every success for the future, unfortunately, this has not worked out for us.

You're a bloke?? You are bitching like a teenage girl. She's out of order but you are just awful. Those poor kids.

Really? You are going to give her that?

Good luck with getting her to work well during the termination period. Just pay her off and ask her to go FFS.

That termination letter is more about you venting than getting the job done isn't it. Not very professional imo.

Exactly TSS. Is she still there right now?

You sound like a pompous arrogant arsehole! Perhaps the ap is looking for reason for u to sAck her! If u employed me I would have left long ago. Yes u posted in aibu so expect opinions different to your own!

This has got to be a wind up, surely?!

Jeez, you need to get a grip. There's no way you can even begin to think it's ok to send a letter like that. People will think you're batshit crazy.

By all means terminate her contract (and I think you should) but fgs don't say it's because of the water damage and Sky box. Or mention the 'Iceland chicken nuggets'.

She sounds like a nightmare OP. Get rid! She isn't doing your BP any good!

Why did we need to know the chicken nuggets came from Iceland? This is all v odd.

Seriously though, au pairs get paid that amount of money for being a live-in nanny? Seriously.

So they get a room to live in, (god forbid they inhabit your living space ) chucked a bit of pocket money and are look after your children before and after school, make their meals, play with them, take them out and be on 24/7 alert to answer your phone calls?

This can't be a fair amount of money for all that can it?

"iceland chicken nuggets"