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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it unreasonable for a schoolTo insist boys have short hair but not girls?

83 replies

Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 19:38

Don't want to hijack the other hair threat so started this.

What makes it acceptable for some schools to have uniform rules stating boys hair should be a set length ( collar seeming to be the most popular) when girls can have it whatever length they like?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 20:25

Miffybun73. You are always entitled to your opinion. But I am interested to know why "norms" exist in society other than either religious or moral reasons.

There is no reason for long or coloured hair, piercings, or tattoos to be unacceptable as they hurt no one else so why should they be considered wrong

OP posts:
zower · 04/10/2013 21:03

i like longer hair on boys sometimes! unless it was a military or cadet type school it seems a shame for this distinction. and i am very strongly pro-school uniform in other ways ...

zower · 04/10/2013 21:05

piercings, coloured hair, make up though - NO!

fourandahalfkids · 04/10/2013 21:20

Im glad our school is not like this. My little boy has masses of blonde curls that used to come to his shoulder blades. It's shorter now but still below the collar, he gets comments wherever he goes about how lovely it is, I would hate to be told to cut it and so would he. He is very proud of his hair.

Original poster
Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 21:37

Zower. Not at school. But after. Why not?

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 04/10/2013 21:40

DS is aged 9 and has decided to grow his hair long like his dad.

Totally fine. His school are also sensible. Long hair, for both girls and boys, is to be tied back neatly.

No issue there.

LynetteScavo · 04/10/2013 21:42

I don't get schools weird rules over hair styles.

Schools insisting children don't have their haircut too short is another one. I'm not sure how having a buzz cut impedes learning, and if the child had nits, they may well be better off.

babybythesea · 04/10/2013 21:44

I had someone in my class at school sent home for the day once, because his hair was too short. As if it might grow by the time he returned the next day...
Good school, brilliant results, just a little anal about certain things!

FryOneFatManic · 04/10/2013 21:44

miffybun just because something is a societal norm, that does not make it right necessarily.

After all, it used to be a societal norm for women to stay at home and the men to rule the house. But society is different now, and sometimes things do need changing. I don't believe there's any need for a societal norm that dictates hair length for males.

ThePuffyShirt · 04/10/2013 21:48

My son had longish hair until y5 - his choice to keep it long and his choice to subsequently cut it. He tied it back for school swimming, as did the girls.

Headmaster, terribly old fartish conservative, used to moan about it constantly but we didn't bat an eyelid.

kim147 · 04/10/2013 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ponyo73 · 04/10/2013 22:07

Miffybun73, I agree with you. How many politicians, lawyers, accountants, doctors etc. have ponytails? They don't! It's about having standards, good grooming, adhering to a tradition, where gentlemen wear ties for a business meeting and stuff 'dress down Fridays', that's for week nights and weekends.

kim147 · 04/10/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ponyo73 · 04/10/2013 22:38

Course I would trust a man with long hair, look at Jesus! I would lust after men with long hair (steven Tyler, albeit 20years ago) but could you honestly let a floppy-haired fop like Harry Styles defend you in a court of law when charged with burglary. M'Lawd I rest my case.

SprinkleLiberally · 04/10/2013 22:47

Traditional is fine. Men traditionally had long hair for centuries. Or a syrup of course.
Tied back if girls have to tie back, but long hair is fine.

Birdsgottafly · 05/10/2013 08:34

"How many politicians, lawyers, accountants, doctors etc. have ponytails? They don't! "

You must live a very sheltered life if you don't see male professionals with long hair. All of those professions have a high number of religions in which irbid the norm for men to not cut their hair.

Professionals are educated to the point where they wouldn't judge a man with long hair. As long as it was clean and hygienic/respectful (if in court) etc, as they wouldn't assume that persons cultural background, or make a snap judgement on one aspect of their appearance.

As for "this issue not arising in over subscribed catholic schools", all schools must consider applications from other religions and will have pupils from different backgrounds.

It was a cultural norm that meant I had to do cookery, rather than the useful DIY skills that the boys learned, they also did really interesting sports (Kayaking etc) whilst we played Netball.

I think if seriously challenged no school could have this policy, it goes against many "Acts".

Orangeanddemons · 05/10/2013 08:38

I've seen male doctors with long hair.

Birdsgottafly · 05/10/2013 08:39

Just to add, those professions also contain men who have long hair, for non religious reasons.

By senior school young people have some idea of who they are and what they will do after leaving school, rushing into a degree isn't always the best option, they can cut their hair at their own leisure. Even if they know they want to be a "professional" it does take at least five years + from leaving school.

JazzAnnNonMouse · 05/10/2013 08:41

Unreasonable.
But they too should have to tie it back as a preventative measure to nits, catching fire in science, being caught in PE (all reasons girls are told their hair must be tied back).

Shesparkles · 05/10/2013 08:48

No issues at my ds's school, and the uniform list in the handbook states "navy skirt or pinafore, or grey trousers", no distinction made between boys and girls, so going by the letter of the rules,I guess a boy could wear a skirt or summer dress

MrsHoratioNelson · 05/10/2013 08:53

I am a lawyer. There is not a single man in my office (300+ people) nor in any of the other law firms I know or any of the accountancy firms I know that has long hair. And we absolutely would judge a man with long hair. Jut as we would judge a woman in too short a skirt or anyone with bad grooming. If interviewed, they would be rejected on "doesn't fit" grounds.

But them's the breaks - you want a well paid professional job? Fit in with everyone else.

For school I can't see that it matters a jot so long as they understand that if they want to be a high court judge they'll have to cut it off. And it's definitely sexist to have one rule for girls and another for boys.

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 05/10/2013 08:57

Ds had waist length hair up to the age of 8. His hair is shoulder length and still growing. He has to tie it back when he goes to school. We can never see ds ever getting a job where he would have to wear trousers with a zip or buttoned shirts and ties. He hates them, even a polo shirt is deemed too stifling. Looking for a senior school ATM that promotes music, drama and surfing, rather than trying to turn out solicitors, accountants and office fodder. Does one exist?

Original poster
Ilovemyself · 05/10/2013 09:27

Mrshorationelon. Just goes to show what a bunch of shallow snobs lawyers are. And yes I count you in amongst them.

You are just perpetuating the bullshit that you must conform.

And no you don't need to have short hair to get a well paid job. Thankfully there are some fantastic companies out there that have no problem with long hair on men. Or tattoos, piercings, or unnatural hair colours. And they pay extremely well. The Aerospace industry is one of them.

Perhaps if you stopped being so judgy basing your view of someone's capability on appearance you could move out of the Victorian times and actually employ.some people with fair more ability than those that look the part.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 05/10/2013 09:33

MrsHoratio, I was in Court on Friday( I am in court daily some weeks as a representative of the LA), I see male legal representatives, Solicitors and Barristers with long hair and not just as a cultural norm. I am amazed that there isn't one Sikh or Jewish Man in those workplaces, tbh. I am in Liverpool though and we are very Multi-Cultural and diverse.

But not every young person will want to, or have the capability to become a professional of that level, so what they do in senior school, with their hair doesn't mean that their life opportunities are cut down upon.

Hair can be cut, I doubt if many of us on this thread look like we did when we were 11-15.

BionicEmu · 05/10/2013 09:44

I don't believe that long hair seriously holds men back any more, does it?

DH has long hair, tattoos & piercings (trifecta!), & has a very good career in railway engineering - he is a higher-rate tax-payer by quite some margin.

He thinks his appearance helps his career though. His industry is big enough that you'll never meet or remember everyone, but looking like he does means people seem to remember him & the fact that he's bloody good at his job.

And yep, [almost] 3yo DS has gorgeous long hair too! (Always tied back as well.)