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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask MN to ban the term "slut shaming"?

70 replies

BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:10

That really, for obvious reasons. Have just been reading the Sinead o Connor/Miley Cyrus thread. (Will be gone for a while and check back later).

OP posts:
BOF · 04/10/2013 19:15

YABU, yes. It is a recognisable phrase from the feminist lexicon.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 19:17

ERm....what is slut shaming and why is it offensive?

Not being provocative, I have just never heard it before.

ginmakesitallok · 04/10/2013 19:17

First time I've ever heard it too

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 19:24

So to use the phrase to describe a situation or conversation "Why are you so intent on Slut Shaming Miley Cyrus?" is not offensive but to use it as (say) a caption on a photo of MC with a new man would be?

Sorry, I know how I feel about feminist issues, but am not particularly up on the language!

ginmakesitallok · 04/10/2013 19:25

So is it the term you want banning or the practice??

OldSchoolMamma · 04/10/2013 19:25

Can we use slag instead or is that worse?

VinegarDrinker · 04/10/2013 19:28

Eh? Why would you want to ban a useful and descriptive phrase that is widely used?

OldSchoolMamma · 04/10/2013 19:30

Vinegar I think the OP thinks it's a hateful term towards women...

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 19:31

I think that the phrase is ok but the action isnt. Is that right?

BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:32

Because how and why should the subject be described as a slut in the first place? ( eg MC debate)

OP posts:
OldSchoolMamma · 04/10/2013 19:33

MC?

SirChenjin · 04/10/2013 19:34

Never heard of it before Shock - horrible expression.

That being said, I loathe the hypersexualisation of the music industry and the fact that so many young women are happy to sell themselves in this way.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 19:34

If I have understood it correctly Bratingham, it refers to the view of the person doing the "shaming" rather than the subject themselves.

BOF · 04/10/2013 19:35

Basically, it is a description of what happens when somebody criticises a woman for her sexual appearance or behaviour, because they want her to feel shame. It is exposing the fact that their criticism effectively boils down to calling her a 'slut', with all the misogynistic history of that word.

It is not saying that the word 'slut' with all its connotations is an acceptable term for a woman. It does, however, use the shock of the word itself to sum up the misogyny behind the views of the commentators who want women to behave or dress more modestly.

It is not uncontroversial, because feminists are not all the same: some believe in free sexual expression, whereas others think it is impossible under patriarchy, and that dressing in an overtly sexual way etc is contributing to the objectification of women rather than being empowering.

Does that make sense?

viperslast · 04/10/2013 19:35

I think it is a description of the type of shaming not of the subject.

BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:37

Right Bogey but it seems to me that the language is all wrong. Because it somehow accepts the premise of "slut". And I think that is wrong.

OP posts:
BOF · 04/10/2013 19:37

Or to put it another way, it's saying "Woah there, you say you want her to respect herself, but actually you're just calling her slut, aren't you? Out of order, mate."

FreakinRexManningDay · 04/10/2013 19:38

Slut shaming is not an insult. Slut shaming is what misogenists do to women who for whatever reason they deem to be a slut.

Example....
A woman goes out and gets drunk and makes out with two men at the same time. She gets called a slut,tramp,slag.
A man goes out and gets drunk and makes out with two women at the same time. He gets called a legend,king. The two women involved get called slut,tramp,slag.

passmetheprozac · 04/10/2013 19:39

So op by wanting to ban the phrase 'slut shaming' you agree that women should be victimised for expressing their sexuality?

BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:40

That may well be Freaking but that the intended result is not there. So in your example it should highlight the injustice of your first example. It does not do it clearly enough. All it does is reinforces on some level that she is in fact, A SLUT! See what I mean?

OP posts:
BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:43

Quite the opposite PASS. I am a hate the term because it attaches to a woman, any woman the term slut and I strongly disagree with that.

OP posts:
Grennie · 04/10/2013 19:43

Horrible expression. No woman is a slut. But yes YABU to ask MN to ban the phrase.

DebrisSlide · 04/10/2013 19:44

But that's what the shamers think.

Did you read the link BOF posted?

BratinghamPalace · 04/10/2013 19:44

Aww come on Grennie.........

OP posts:
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