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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want dh's wages.Today

73 replies

Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 19:10

Dh works for the 'family' business and is paid weekly (or at least he is meant to be).

They do not have a standing order set up although the wages should be in every Friday they rarely are. Today they were meant to be paid in at 4pm. Yet again they have not been.

I told dh we need them today as have to go food shopping in morning and have bills to pay. His excuse is that it's a small business and his wages can't be paid till other people who owe the business have paid.

I'm sick of this. He works hard and I expect the wages to be paid each Friday and not to be worrying every week whether we will get them or not.

He thinks I'm nagging as I told him to phone his db and say we want the money by 9am tomorrow.

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 21:14

Yanbu, this arrangement doesn't provide stability. You have fixed expenses need to be paid on time. Would a monthly payment work better though?

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 21:17

Is it his business? Or his parent's?

HeySoulSister · 04/10/2013 21:19

Well they are HIS wages not yours. How would you feel if he was posting this about your job/wages?

Kewcumber · 04/10/2013 21:26

Depends really. If he is getting more out of the business than other employees - profit share dividends etc then he's right. AS the part owner he has a responsibility to the other workers first.

If he is in effect just another worker and doesn;t get anything extra then he's wrong and a mug and needs to thrash this out with whomever in the family is getting the profit. Or get a non-related job who pay on time.

Bearbehind · 04/10/2013 21:34

I'm sick of this. He works hard and I expect the wages to be paid each Friday and not to be worrying every week whether we will get them or not.

Sorry OP but if your husband works for himself/ the family business you do not get the luxury of being 'sick of this'.

If the business hasn't been oaid, how exactly do you expect them to pay themselves?

If you want the security of guaranteed payments he needs to work for another company although that is only as secure as his job.

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 21:47

I agree with Bear my brother in law has his own business and if there's not enough money, he pays his staff (he's a builder so has laborers) and then he waits...it's crap but my sister fully understands.

ItsNotATest · 04/10/2013 21:54

This come with the territory of owning your business. If the money isn't there, he can't be paid. At least not unless you want the business to go down the pan.

I'm deliberately ignoring the slightly odd attitude to someone else's wages.

quoteunquote · 04/10/2013 21:57

Is he an employee?

HappyMummyOfOne · 04/10/2013 21:57

He can always move jobs if he doesnt like the pit falls of his current one.

Does he take such an approach to your wages as you do his?

marriedinwhiteisbackz · 04/10/2013 21:59

If he's part of a small business I'm afraid the wages don't come until the customers pay.

gamerchick · 04/10/2013 22:00

He needs to find another job.

Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:02

The business is owned by his brother and cousin, so technically dh is just an employee as he has no other financial interest in the business.

I just find it really unfair and irritating that he is at work, on time every day, works hard and yet it is a struggle each week to actually get his wages.

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:03

I don't work so his wages are what we rely on as a family.

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 22:05

Well then I agree OP...he's not a partner he needs to be paid. How long has he been working for them?

KirjavaTheCorpse · 04/10/2013 22:06

If you're the one at home doing the budgeting, paying the bills and food shopping it's not unreasonable to be annoyed. It's family money which your DH happens to earn. How does your DH feel about it?

Bearbehind · 04/10/2013 22:07

Tell him to get another job then. If he couldn't due to qualifications, experience etc, you just need to suck it up.

He might not be any more than an employee but if he is benefitting in the fact that he wouldn't get a comparable job elsewhere then that's the pay off, if he isn't- then get another job.

BillyBanter · 04/10/2013 22:08

Do the other staff get paid on time? Not that that would make it ok.

Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:11

He has been working there just over a year. I am just sick of the worry every week knowing that bills are due to go out of the account and the money isn't in there and we need the money to do our food shopping tomorrow.

When I asked dh to phone his brother and ask for the wages he said I had to accept that as its a small/newish/family business sometimes he won't get paid on time as they are waiting to be paid for jobs.

I know I sound a bit like I feel entitled to dh's money but as I'm dealing with our finances it is really frustrating when we don't get the money dh has worked for.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 04/10/2013 22:12

Well, that puts a different slant on things, if he has no share of the profits.

Is he employed by them, or does he subcontract to them?

If he's employed, his brother and cousin are taking advantage of the fact that he's also family to guilt trip him into waiting for his wages.

If he's a subcontractor, well part of the deal is financial risk, so unfortunately, he has to suck it up.

(DH and I are self-employed. If our clients don't pay, we have to scrat around to pay the bills.)

Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:14

That is exactly our problem, due to no qualifications and very difficult family circumstances this is the only job dh could get. He is able to have flexible hours if need be (we have a very poorly dd) so it is helpful to have that flexibility for hospital stays etc but if he has a few hrs off during the week he always makes the time up at weekends.

I just wish the wages went in each week on time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:15

He is employed by them, and yes I do think there is an element of guilt to it and he feels he can't complain too much.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 04/10/2013 22:15

I'm not being funny OP but why has he only been there for a year?

If he took the job due to a lack of alternatives, your argument is very limited.

If they took him on because he is faaaamily, then he must expect to be treated as such.

If he got the job entirely on his own merit then you have a valid point and he should ensure this point is aired and he shoud be prepared to up sticks and work elsewhere if it int resolved.

Original poster
Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 22:17

Not sure about the other staff as dh is the only other full time alongside his brother and cousin.

Other workers are sometimes there if its very busy but only on a temp basis as sometimes they are v busy other times very quiet.

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 04/10/2013 22:20

Bear don't be a wanker. OPs DD is very ill and she's worried.

OP...is your MIL any use? Could she have a word with the brother and cousin? Or could you? DH is possibly scared of losing the job altogether I suppose. He should think about training for something else right now...perhaps doing a plumbers course or something part time?

JoinYourPlayfellows · 04/10/2013 22:20

"If he took the job due to a lack of alternatives, your argument is very limited."

No, it isn't.

He is staff and a company has responsibilities to its staff, even if they are family.

He is not an owner or a partner, he is an employee and they need to pay him on time.

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