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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I want dh's wages.Today

73 replies

Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 19:10

Dh works for the 'family' business and is paid weekly (or at least he is meant to be).

They do not have a standing order set up although the wages should be in every Friday they rarely are. Today they were meant to be paid in at 4pm. Yet again they have not been.

I told dh we need them today as have to go food shopping in morning and have bills to pay. His excuse is that it's a small business and his wages can't be paid till other people who owe the business have paid.

I'm sick of this. He works hard and I expect the wages to be paid each Friday and not to be worrying every week whether we will get them or not.

He thinks I'm nagging as I told him to phone his db and say we want the money by 9am tomorrow.

OP posts:

Tiredmumno1 · 04/10/2013 22:58

Haha the real world. Erm when someone is employed to do a job regardless of who the boss is, then they should be paid. Just like everybody else in the real world.

Bearbehind · 04/10/2013 23:04

No tiredmum in the real world, rightly or wrongly, this man wouldn't have a job outside of the family business, due to his requirement for leave at short notice. Digging your heels in about employment rights etc is absolutely no use when you are unemployed.

OP, I truly hope you manage to sort things out so that life becomes easier for you.

WMittens · 04/10/2013 23:05

His excuse is that it's a small business and his wages can't be paid till other people who owe the business have paid.

How is that an excuse? It's simple mathematics. Part of my job is to audit bank accounts and financial procedures and identify when people are taking money they don't, strictly speaking, have; I'll say this, his brother and cousin are damn lucky you don't do their bookkeeping.

Tiredmumno1 · 04/10/2013 23:09

Yeah ok, maybe they shouldn't have offered the job if they couldn't afford it in the first place but they did. So they should pay him for his work, this will still be my take on it, so no point in arguing is there

OP I hope you sort it out.

Original poster

Somanyexcuses · 04/10/2013 23:10

I just don't think they are running the business well. I'm no expert and not even very good at maths but they have no money at all behind them.

Initially it was bil and another man running it until cousin paid for his share and then owned it with bil.
Bil works hard sometimes 7 days a week. Dh works hard. Cousin however is always on holiday (has his own money and a very wealthy partner) so he swans in every few weeks, doesn't do much and goes off abroad again. Apparently in the new year he will be back and there every day but it seems very, very unfair.

But, yet again I do feel that we have to be grateful even for this situation as dh does get paid most of the time (but always late) its the weeks when he isn't paid that cause problems and get us so far into the overdraft.

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/10/2013 23:11

"Mil is very much of the opinion that the family business is very important so probably wouldn't be a great deal of help."
How about on a 'personal' basis? Call her, ask to borrow money for food shopping, you'll pay her back when DH gets paid. See how long it takes for the penny to drop that she needs to tell one of her sons to get his finger out to pay her other son what he's owed.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/10/2013 23:13

I really think it needs to be hammered home to the rest of the family that if DH doesn't get paid, nobody in your house gets to eat.

Bearbehind · 04/10/2013 23:14

I'm not arguing tired but as I see it the choice is between a very flexible job, in terms of leave, that doesn't always pay on time or no job at all.

It is a choice but I know which I'd rather opt for.

wmittens is right, if the business doesn't have the money, they can't use it and should they really be critised in doing what appears to be the utmost they can to support this family?

JoinYourPlayfellows · 04/10/2013 23:43

I suggest the wealthy partner in the business coughs up some of his holiday money so that his employee's family isn't going hungry.

He OWES that money to the man who works for him.

That money needs to be found, however it is found.

Businesses don't have the luxury of employing people and not bothering to pay them because it is inconvenient.

"should they really be critised in doing what appears to be the utmost they can to support this family?"

Um, yeah the absolutely should be criticised for convincing a man with a job to give it up so that they could exploit him and leave his family totally fucked.

The "utmost to support this family"?! A

Are you fucking kidding me?

While Mr. Part Time swans off on holidays as the bailiffs show up at his employee's door?

And you think this poor fucker needs to be grateful to these piss-takers?

Bearbehind · 05/10/2013 09:58

I'm astounded that some people see things as being so black and white when they are clearly not.

It didn't sound like he needed too much convincing to join this company as his previous employers wouldn't accommodate his requirement for leave at short notice, so even if he hadn't left them he would probably have lost that job.

The rich cousin might just be funding the business and leaving it to the brother to run day to day. If the brother isn't running it well and isn't getting payments in then the cousin is hardly going to keep chucking money at it.

I'm not saying its OK that they don't always pay on time, I'm saying that if they accommodate his leave requirements and if he couldn't get a job anywhere else, he's not really in a strong position to negotiate as the alternative is likely to be them getting rid of him.

OP, how about asking for a weeks pay as an advance, like a long term loan, so that you are always a week ahead of yourself and can manage late payments more easily

Original poster

Somanyexcuses · 05/10/2013 10:23

That is exactly our problem, dh could not get a job anywhere else that would accomodate his need for time off and allow him to make up those hours when convenient to us.

He said to me this morning that the only other option is him just giving up and claiming benefits but we really don't want to go down that route as he prefers to have a job. I just hope the business starts to pick up and have some money behind it soon as the stress each week waiting for wages is horrid.

OP posts:

DrawingLines · 05/10/2013 11:41

Could your dh opt for less hours so you can get more working tax credits or other benefits? At least that income would be guaranteed and he could always offer to go back up to full-time when they can guarantee a regular wage. They might even welcome that option too if they're struggling to pay him.

I understand why you're frustrated and worried but I think that the cousin not being there all the time, doesn't really impact on your income. He could have invested money and not made a commitment to work fulltime in the business. That's perfectly fine and fair. It doesn't sound as though he's taking money from the business to fund his holidays. He's not your enemy.

Another option might be to ask if there is any payment in kind they can provide? eg a fuel or car allowance. Something that they can claim back as a business expense but will help to meet some of your expenses. (eg if they work with vehicles perhaps they could offer him the use of a car? It's difficult to suggest without knowing the business sector but I completely understand that you don't want to out yourself).

I'm sorry your dc is ill. I can only imagine how stressful this is for you.

Mojavewonderer · 05/10/2013 12:01

Do you and/or your child not qualify for disability living allowance and/or carers allowance? You say your child is very poorly so surely you qualify for some help especially seeing as it's stopping you from working.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 05/10/2013 15:38

How about insisting that if they are going to keep paying your husband late and expecting him to bear the same risks as the owners that they make him a partner too?

Bearbehind · 05/10/2013 16:48

join the OP's DH really isn't 'bearing the same risks as the owners', his exposure is limited to 1 weeks pay.

If the business is a partnership rather than a limited company, any partner's exposure could be any liabilities of the company which could be a whole lot worse than losing a weeks pay and could result in assets being sized, including their home potentially.

That's aside from the additional burden that it would place on him to make sure the business suceeds and grows, which it really sounds like their family could do without right now.

Groovee · 05/10/2013 16:54

My dh left the family business. But it became noticed by me when doing the accounts that his brother was being paid in full while dh was working the longer hours and was bringing paperwork home. We may have less money now but at least the money is paid in every Friday.

If your dh is an employee they should paid first regardless of customers.

Original poster

Somanyexcuses · 05/10/2013 17:15

We do get dla, carers allowance, ctc and cb but need the wages too to make ends meet.

OP posts:

Bearbehind · 05/10/2013 17:18

Can you ask any family member for a slush fund long term loan which would tide you over if you need it? It doesn't need to be a huge amount, just enough to give you a bit of breathing space.

breatheslowly · 05/10/2013 18:50

YANBU - one of the most important things in business is paying your employees. In other, probably larger businesses if the payroll doesn't get paid for any reason heads will roll. It isn't too hard to work out how much they need to have available at the end of the week to pay your DH and they need to deal with this either by obtaining some funding (a loan perhaps) to sort out their cash flow or by changing the way they bill customers to ensure that they have money coming in from the start of any job.

Original poster

Somanyexcuses · 05/10/2013 19:17

No chance of a loan from anybody at all. Not really sure what to do as it is such a difficult situation. If I could work and match dh's earnings I would just suggest we swap roles and he stayed at home to care for dcs whilst I went out to work but I'm in a worse situation than him and would never get a particularly well paid job. I might keep a look out though just in case.

OP posts:

Bearbehind · 05/10/2013 19:42

I know it is far from the perfect solution, but could you get a credit card so at least you know you can do a food shop every week and make sure you pay it off every month without fail. As I said, I know it's not ideal, but if it gave you the breathing space you need and allowed your husband to continue in a job which allows him the flexibility you need, it's got to be worth considering.

Darkesteyes · 05/10/2013 22:23

So the OP has got to get into debt because her DH hasnt been paid money that hes WORKED FOR.
And as for paying the credit card off without fail....err well they have kind of got to be paid to enable this to happen.

Bearbehind · 05/10/2013 22:47

No darkesteyes, that is not what I said.

The OPs problem seems to be her husband being paid late. If he is paid weekly, the most that can be is 7 days late as she hasn't said he has weeks of payments outstanding.

I said it wasn't perfect but credit cards have to be paid monthly and if it took the pressure off the weekly budget, then surely it would help.

Have you got a better idea?

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