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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this work colleague is wrong

103 replies

Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 10:10

It's dress down Friday today and one of the guys in the office is wearing a South Park T shirt with a picture of Timmy ( the character in the wheelchair ) and the comment "I'm special" on it.

I thought the use of the word special was frowned upon these days, pointing out the differences disabled people have rather than being inclusive.

What's more, the person concerned needs to use a wheel chair for much more than a short walk.....

OP posts:
nonmifairidere · 04/10/2013 10:53

Hmm, maybe he is being ironic? Who'd have thought a disabled person could have a sense of irony, eh?

badtime · 04/10/2013 10:57

I would have thought it was ironic too - perhaps he feels that people do think of him as 'a disabled person' (rather than a person who happens to have resticted mobility), and is challenging that sort of view. The point in that case would be that he isn't 'special' or different.

mrsjay · 04/10/2013 10:57

Hmm, maybe he is being ironic? Who'd have thought a disabled person could have a sense of irony, eh

Grin

\OP maybe next weeks dress down day you should get yourself a t shirt and see how well it goes down, are you trying to insinuate that it is ok for him to wear it and not you because he has a disability and you don't ?

lljkk · 04/10/2013 10:58

I'd take it as ironic, not offensive.

CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 11:06

Please calm down. Every single word these days someone will have an issue with it. Get over it.

Birdsgottafly · 04/10/2013 11:07

This reply has been deleted

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quoteunquote · 04/10/2013 11:16

Fry nails it

flipchart · 04/10/2013 11:16

Seeing that you are currently at work you may be more productive working than getting offended over a t shirt tbh.

If it is deemed inappropriate then the manager or whoever is the person to deal with it.
Now stop MNing and get back to work!!

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 11:22

Stephen fry is a bit of a cunt.

I trust no one is offended by that.

flipchart · 04/10/2013 11:23

Amber
I am hugely offended!!! You twat!! (no offence!!) Grin

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 11:24
Grin
TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 04/10/2013 11:35

Agreed Amber Grin.

OP, if you cannot see why a person in an oppressed group is allowed to reclaim a word that has become a slur to hurt them and a person in a dominate group that has not been harmed by said word (and part of said group that has used that word to harm) cannot, then I suggest you do some reading around the topic of ableism and reclaiming slurs.

mrsjay · 04/10/2013 11:48

how very dare you amber stephen fry is an oracle Grin

Floggingmolly · 04/10/2013 11:54

Has the word special become a slur to hurt people with, spork? Shock. In it's usual context it means the same to me as it always did.

MurderOfBanshees · 04/10/2013 11:57

Flogging It was definitely used as an insult when I was at school in the 90's

mrsjay · 04/10/2013 11:59

ok the word special in that context means that a person with a special need needs extra considerationand allowances because they are special so for example an adult in a wheelchair might come across a person who accepts their arseholness (not a word) because they are disabled and special

does any of that make sense flogginmolly if you change the word special with precious, the t shirt is sarcasim

mrsjay · 04/10/2013 12:01

or as in insult if somebody able bodied does something silly an insult would be god you are so special

Viviennemary · 04/10/2013 12:05

In the circumstances I think it's fine.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 04/10/2013 12:33

I'm not saying it is this, but... might it be that he is a bit tired of people tying themselves in knots to avoid noticing or referring to the wheelchair, to the extent that he sometimes ends up being excluded? Might he be trying to bring his disability out into the open through the medium of humour, and get people to acknowledge it and move on?

valiumredhead · 04/10/2013 12:34

Ahh just read the OP properly. The thing is silly twats some people will see him wearing it and think it's ok for them to call people 'special' too and it's not. I fucking hate South Park though so for that alone the Tee shirt should be burned and bloke wearing it should be disciplined forthwith !!!! Wink

valiumredhead · 04/10/2013 12:34

Special was an insult back in the 80's most definitely. Vile.

Original poster
Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 13:06

Does it make a difference that he just likes to take the piss out of disabled people? Let's face it, if it is South Park it is likely to be pushing the bounds of taste.

And I was at work, but we have these things called tea breaks. Funnily enough I am free to do what Iike then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovemyself · 04/10/2013 13:11

Quote. Just checked your link. Made me smile.

OP posts:
TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy · 04/10/2013 13:16

Not to the wearing of the T-shirt, no. He might not be a nice guy regardless and whether or not the shirt is appropriate for work even on dress down day or his discussions taking the piss out of people are appropriate conversations for that area is an HR matter that you can discuss with them, but as a person with disabilities who is effected by ableist slurs, reclaiming said slur on his shirt, especially when it specifically says "I'm" is not the issue. You obviously have far broader issues with him that I suggest you take up with superiors, though I would leave the shirt out of it.

rockybalBOOOOa · 04/10/2013 13:22

If the word special is frowned upon these days then CBeebies might need to give 'Something Special' a rethink.

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