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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to lending this money?

39 replies

starrychime · 03/10/2013 21:44

Feel rubbish. Best friend (of 20+ years) is really crap with money. Tonight her DP calls me to ask to borrow £200 to get them out of latest money pickle. (I'm quite pally with her DP as well) - I could afford it at the moment but said no Sad. Background is a couple of years ago they borrowed £500 to go on holiday, I could afford it at the time but due to various things it took over a year to get paid back by which time I was really struggling myself. She avoided me for a while as she was too embarrassed about not being able to pay it back (I know her well, it really was embarrassment rather than not wanting to pay) and I ended up having to write to her (I mean who writes these days Smile) and assure her I didn't hate her etc and then we got back in touch and money was paid eventually.
So AIBU to say no this time - don't want to risk any more bad feeling but am hoping she'll understand why I said no. Would you?

OP posts:
CajaDeLaMemoria · 03/10/2013 22:18

It's a scam.

It'll be a guaranteed bad credit loan, until they pay that first payment and the money never comes through.

No real loan would require a payment so soon. I've looked at these so many times with the CAB. So many people fall for them :(

pumpkinsweetie · 03/10/2013 22:18

Yanbu, this sort of money & friends does not mix!

Original poster
starrychime · 03/10/2013 22:21

It would be a bad credit loan I think - don't think they'd qualify for a proper bank loan. How does that work then, does the lender say they'll lend money but just keeps the payment and disappears?

OP posts:
Department · 03/10/2013 22:21

I agree with Caja. If you want to help offer to look over the loan documentation for them

ENormaSnob · 03/10/2013 22:21

Yanbu

Xmasbaby11 · 03/10/2013 22:23

YANBU. Please don't lend it. It would make you miserable and it's not your responsibility to bail her out. It's better if they learn you are NOT there as a back up. A holiday is a luxury. We can't afford much of a holiday these days but it's not worth getting into debt for. It would be different if they were genuinely hard up and needed to pay the gas bill.

Shinyshoes1 · 03/10/2013 22:24

Don't do it !

TwoMuchTwoYoung · 03/10/2013 22:26

What do they need the loan for?

Original poster
starrychime · 03/10/2013 22:30

Just for getting by at the moment I think TwoMuch, there are always problems with his wages being late, tax credits delays, various things going wrong...

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 03/10/2013 22:33

nevera lender or borrower be if you want to keep your friends

zippey · 03/10/2013 22:36

You have to pay money to take out a loan? Any fees would be added to the loan.

I agree that it sounds like a scam. Maybe you can advise them of this, if you are good friends.

The question is why do they need a loan?

bigbrick · 03/10/2013 22:37

Just say no as it's tough times for all.

olgaga · 03/10/2013 22:45

She might be a friend but you're not responsible for her! I think you've already been more than generous to still be her friend after the last pisstake.

Once bitten twice shy.

Original poster
starrychime · 03/10/2013 22:49

Thanks all, guess I did the right thing saying no, still feelas a bit crap tho Sad

OP posts:
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