To think that sleep deprivation will eventually kill me?

[ToughTimes]

I've had a pretty shit month with Ds2 (9 months). No more than 2 hours continuous sleep a night before he wakes. He's just learnt to pull himself up and stand in his cot so loves doing it on a 2 hourly basis when he can.. If I ignore him he screams and cries, and wakes ds1 (2.7 years) up, who then is cranky all day.

I'm so tired I literally can't see straight. Ds2 slept at 8pm last night. He woke 7 times between 8pm and 3am and then just refused to sleep. I tried leaving him in his cot while I slept (we're in the same room) but he cried till i picked him up. I've tried rocking him, patting him, even fecking singing lullabies but he just won't sleep. He has 2 day naps of 45 mins-1 hour 3-3.5 hours apart. I've posted about this in sleep but apart from someone suggesting a sling for day naps didn't really get any advice. Am literally on my fucking fucking fucking knees :( :(

No advice as I'm there too but sympathy and hand holding

Would he sleep better in bed with u rather tHan cot?

Could he go in his own room? Perhaps it's distracting him when he sees you?

ll31 he probably would but I wouldn't! I'm not a fan of co-sleeping, just too worried I'd hurt him. And I get up every 10 mins cos he's crawled all over me in his sleep.

capitain- his room is adjacent to Ds1, and as I'm still breast feeding, I'd have to go there which invariably wakes ds1 (gnat's fart I think is the phrase)..

Have you tried going to see a cranial osteopath? My DD was like this until she was 18 months old and only finally started to sleep after several sessions with an osteopath. You have my sympathy though - sleep deprivation is just awful.

I would seriously co sleep, at nine months he is pretty robust, you won't hurt him I promise. Have you a DP/ H? Where is he in all of this?

If you call your HV they may be able to suggest a sleep clinic or a visit from someone to try and help...

Put him in bed with you. especially if he is breastfeeding, you'll be able to dose & won't feel so tired.

Can you speak to your hv & ask to be referred to a sleep clinic ? My ds was a nightmare, sleep clinic gave us a sleep plan , saved my sanity .

No advice but I feel your pain. My ds2 is nearly 13months and wakes up constantly in the night (we co-sleep and he is no longer breastfed). He was sleeping through at 7 - 9 months but then teething pains made all my hard work go out the window.

Bedtime was 8ish, and from 1am he woke up almost hourly. My dm suggested I give him a snack before bed (he has his tea 6-6.30pm) so now since a few days ago I force down feed him a small bowl of porridge at 8.30pm then he has a small bottle an hour later, whilst half asleep. Last night he slept through til 5.30 (had a bit more milk) and is currently still snoring away :) not perfect but I can cope with this.

Could your ds be hungry?

you have my sympathy. you might die i'm afraid. in the mean time is there anyone who can take him and ds1 for a couple of hours in the day so you can rest?
i would also reconsider cosleeping or at least sleeping on a mattress on his floor so you don't have as far to go and are less likely to wake ds1.
good luck

I think the sleep clinic referral is a great idea. But I would definitely rethink him sleeping in the room with you.

We used to find with all of ours that everyone started to sleep better when the baby went in their cot in their own room.

I do understand the waking of your eldest as we've also had this problem (dd2 had night terrors for forever a while and kept waking dd1 as they shared and then ds wakened both girls when he went through a soul destroying 430am I'm up for the day phase).

But if you can cope with your older one being wakened for a few nights knowing it will be better in the longer run I'd try moving him out.

I think the 630 porridge is a good suggestion and we found actually putting them down earlier (though it seems counter intuitive) helped our lot sleep through so maybe try 7 instead of 8 for a couple of days?

There is also just a dreaded 9mth teething/practising crawling/walking stage where they sleep badly so it may pass itself.

You WILL get there, it just never feels like it. Good luck!!!

I'd try sleeping together, he's huge at 9 months you won't squash him

If he goes into another room he might sleep through a bit more so need less feeding at night?

This is the age at which the parenting styles diverge . Doing what you are doing is the hardest path I think. Generally people either co-sleep and get a bit more (poor quality IMO) sleep, or put baby in own room and sleep train them.

We're co-sleepers, and no I wouldn't choose it, but it is much better than getting out of the fucking bed. I won't put mine in their own room until they're old enough to walk back and climb into bed without me moving. One used to come through and sleep next to me without waking me!

When things get really bad, I feed the baby and then hand them to dh and it then becomes his problem. Children generally have 2 parents for a reason *

*apologies for huge generalisation and any single parents I have offended.

Oh and don't have any clocks in the bedroom that you can see. Counting how many times you wake and for how long is soul destroying. It's much better not to know. It all blurs into be with the sleep deprivation anyway.

Are you me?

My DS2 (also 9 months) wakes every 45 mins - 2 hours and has done since birth. I'm going out of my mind with sleep deprivation.

Have done some research on sleep training and have found someone to help. It's going to be quite a long process compared to some methods as I absolutely do not want to do CIO/CC/etc.

If you want any details pm me and I'll be happy to share.

Personally at 9 months I would be stopping any feeds at night. If he really needs it then wake and dreamfeed him at 10/11pm but he should be ok without at this age. Then he is less likely to wake at night as he will know he won't get fed. ( assuming you feed him milk all day and x3 meals)

I'm with you too TT, I'm on my knees and my DD (7mo) is getting worse rather than better. I co sleep sometimes when it just gets too bad but then the following nights are harder as I'm sure that's what she wants. I hate it as she wakes me up constantly and I get a bad back. I can't do CC (too soft) and she screams like a banshee if DH goes near her overnight. I just want some bloody sleep. If nothing else, at least you're not alone!

Some people would disagree with this approach but I'd not worry about creating bad habits for the future but do whatever it takes to get some sleep now.

Which in my book would be co-sleeping and BFing back to sleep when he stirs. My DD is 8 months and with teething, developmental leaps and illness has been waking every 2 hours or so for the last month (and a pretty shocking sleeper before that tbh) - sometimes she wakes hourly. We co-sleep and BF back to sleep and somehow I've only had the rare day when I've felt knackered. Somehow I can get back to sleep really quickly. Her naps are similar to yours.

It is a bit uncomfortable and I do wake up feeling achey sometimes but it definitely beats hauling my arse out of bed and picking her up out of the cot.

I found 3 in a bed by Deborah Jackson a really good read on co-sleeping and there's loads of advice on here about doing it safely. I felt that whatever risks there were from co-sleeping (v small at 9 months) were outweighed by the risks of being tired during the day, having to drive tired or the effect being irritable can have on your relationship.

No other suggestions but hope it improves for you soon whatever happens.

www.mumsnet.com/babies/sleep-training-and-controlled-crying

I am in a different camp. I am not a fan of co sleeping. try a couple of things. more food more often during the day with meals and snacks between meals. something to eat about 30 mins to 1 hour before bed time. put them down in a cot in their own room and stop nightime feeding. I think it wakes them up and they get in the habit of waking at a certain time. I am in the controlled crying corner it worked for all 3 of mine and particularly with my last it stopped me having a breakdown due to the lack of sleep and sheer hard work of 3 children under 4. it has to be what works for you and your family and what you can or cannot cope with. there is no right or wrong answer just mix and match and see what gives you some relief. we have all been there but it doesn't make it any less crap for you.

I co slept for six months but after that DS slept so much better in his own room. When he stirs he is seeing you and getting excited about it. Try his own room, downstairs if necessary! When they learn to pull up the do try doing it all night...it's like they are practising it. Grobag can help as they can't stand up as easily. Dummy? Could help him to self settle

Mine both did this at 9 months.

I would say that the first thing you need to do is try and get some sleep to build up some energy to deal with it. At the moment, it is all overwhelming. I'll assume that he won't settle for anyone else in the night and you can't get a full night. But there are things you can do. Do you have someone (DP? DH? Mum?) who could take the kids for a couple of hours in the day for a couple of days to give you a chance to nap. Then go to bed at 8pm. Just to try and build up a bit more sleep.

What is happening when he wakes in the night? How long does it take to get him back to sleep and what do you need to do? DD2 woke every 2 hours until she was about 18 months, but she was only up for about 5 minutes, so you could adjust and it was manageable. Yours sounds far harder.